


Swingsets and Dance Routines

by shipsandglitter



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: (He's still a gay disaster though), Alternate Universe - High School, And drama lol, Angst, Cyrus is a gay pining mess but we stan, Cyrus lowkey plays hard to get, Dance battles!!, F/F, Fake Dating, Flirty!TJ, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hip-hop dancer!TJ, Idiots in Love, Jefferson High and Salt Lake Academy are rival schools, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Trans Marty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2019-10-30 14:37:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 60,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17830448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipsandglitter/pseuds/shipsandglitter
Summary: "The rivalry between Jefferson High and Salt Lake Academy was infamous, and every year it only seemed to grow more heated. Cyrus couldn't help but think it had officially passed the point of being 'friendly competition.'"~Or the one where TJ and Cyrus are from rival schools, and one chance encounter at a cafe ends up changing a whole more than Cyrus had anticipated for.





	1. The book club meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Welcome to my second chaptered fic! I'm honestly not sure how long this is going to be, but I'm aiming for about the length 'Chalk' was, if not longer. Updates will be slightly slower than they were for my last one, purely because I'm back at school now. I hope you like it!
> 
> P.S: Micah (@bezlque on tumblr) was the one who told me about the godtier concept of TJ being a hip-hop dancer n he’s also just the sweetest human in the world so please give him love!

Cyrus could confidently say he had been on time for every single one of his book club meetings to date, but that fateful morning found him rushing through the streets about 5 minutes after the start time, silently cursing his luck as he tugged on a jacket. 

He swore the universe had been out to get him from the start - he woke up on the floor for one, which meant that his shoulders were so stiff he could barely move them,  _then_  when he went to check his phone he discovered that it was out of battery. In turn _, that_ had him jolting awake in an almost comical fashion and rushing downstairs to check the time. There were 10 minutes until the meeting would begin and he barely even had time to think as he grabbed his phone, a portable charger and bolted out of the house.

“Sorry!” he apologised for the hundredth time, hurtling left around a corner. It was Friday, and the streets were already bustling with anticipation for the weekend ahead. The sky was dreary though, which only seemed to add to the list of things dampening his mood.

He arrived at the glass doors of a small coffee shop he usually stopped by and practically threw them open. He didn’t even realize how worn out he was from running until he began to calm down slightly, his face tinged red and breathing laboured.

The café was small and usually unpopulated, which was Cyrus’ favourite thing about it. The furnishing was all retro, with coloured walls and bold paintings hung everywhere. 

“Hey Sophie,” he greeted (or rather - panted) as he approached the counter. 

She gave him a knowing smile. “Hey, Cyrus. The usual?”

“ _Please_. I’m running on pure adrenaline and a few hours of sleep right now.” 

She clicked her tongue in disapproval, typing the order in. “A few hours of sleep? That’s not very you.” 

“I was up doing summer vacation homework,” he admitted with a sigh. 

“That’s...not very you, either.”

“Hey!” he defended, “I’m only human. Besides, everyone procrastinates their summer vacation homework. It’s a universal thing.” 

“ _I_  didn’t,” said Sophie with a smug smile as she began to busy herself with the coffee machines.

“Geez, can you spare me some work ethic? Junior year is killing me.” 

“ _Junior year?_ ” she laughed. “Wait till you get to college.” 

“Hey - what have I said about putting me off college?” 

Sophie just laughed again, walking back over, sealing the cup and writing his name across it in her usual scrawl.

“Here you go, Cy.” 

“I love you so much,” he said seriously as he took the cup from her hands. 

She shook her head slightly at that. “I love you too. Now get going! You looked like you were in a rush."

Cyrus’ stomach dropped at the reminder of his book club meeting, and he turned around with a dramatic sigh. “You’re right. Bye Sophie!” 

He made for the door, but someone on the other side beat him to it. He was tall with dirty blonde hair, and - were those  _green_  eyes?

He didn’t even _realize_ he had frozen until the boy stepped inside, an amused grin on his lips.

“Hey there. You okay?” 

“Yeah!” he said quickly, very nearly dropping his coffee in attempt to compose himself. “Sorry.” 

They were in close proximity now, standing in front of the doorway. They both moved to one side, then the other, and the boy began to laugh. 

“Okay - lets both go to our left.” 

Cyrus nodded and did as he was told, stepping past with a faint smile. 

“We did it!” he cheered playfully, turning back around to face him. 

“We did!” the other boy confirmed, still smiling.

They lingered there for a moment, both clearly wanting to say something more but not knowing exactly what. Cyrus considered small talk for a moment, but quickly decided that the enduring awkwardness would _not_ be worth it in the slightest.

“I uh - really should get going.” 

He made no effort to move after this announcement, and the boy seemed to notice because he was smiling again now, leaning up against the wall behind him.

“Do I know you?” he asked.

Cyrus was slightly taken aback by the  question, but a knowing smile formed on his lips nonetheless.

“No. You don’t. At least -  _I_  don’t know you.”

“Huh,” he replied, nodding slowly. “That’s a shame.”

“Is it?” Cyrus challenged, lifting an eyebrow in question. 

The bustling sounds from outside only seemed to grow louder as nine o’clock drew nearer, and Cyrus knew for a  _fact_  that he had missed at least half of his book club meeting by now.

He couldn’t find it within himself to care about either of those things at that moment.

The boy’s smile widened. “I’m TJ.” 

Cyrus nodded. “Yup - I definitely don’t know any TJ’s.”

“Well...you  _could_  know one if you wanted to.”

Cyrus’ eyes widened slightly at that, and he glanced nervously around the café for a moment. He couldn’t help but think that TJ was being flirty at that moment, and the last thing he needed was to be outed somehow. When he was certain there was no one there from his school, he returned his gaze to TJ with a small smile.

“I’m Cyrus,” he returned, “and I  _guess_  I wouldn’t mind getting to know a TJ...ifit’s just as friends of course.” 

“Pfft, totally,” TJ responded, pushing himself up from his position against the wall, “that’s what I meant too.” 

Cyrus gave him a knowing smile as he fished around in his bag for a pen and a sticky note, letting out a triumphant ‘aha!’ when he felt them and pulled them out.

He took a few moments to write his number down, before tearing off the note and sticking it to the laptop he hadn’t even  _registered_  TJ was holding. 

“I’ll see you around, TJ,” he said, before turning around and pushing the door. It wouldn’t budge, and it took him an embarassing few seconds to remember that it was a  _pull_  door. He let out a small, mortified groan as he stepped back and pulled it open.

“I meant to do that,” he insisted, throwing a glance over his shoulder at TJ.

He was stood there with his laptop hugged to his chest, a fond smile on his face as he observed the boy.

“Sure. We’ll stick with that,” he teased, and that was the last thing Cyrus heard before the door gently closed behind him.

He had missed a majority of his book club meeting by now so it really wouldn’t be worth going, but at least he could say he had gotten coffee.  _And_  that he had met a cute boy with pretty green eyes and a heart-melting laugh and -  _yeah okay,_ he’d stop there.

 

~

 

_Friday, 12:37pm_

 

 **TJ:** Heyy 

 **Cyrus:** Hii 

 **Cyrus:** That was quick haha

 **TJ:** I’m a quick person!

 **Cyrus:** Suure 

 **Cyrus:** So what’s up?

 **TJ:** Welllll

 **TJ:** I was wondering if you wanted to hang out over the weekend?

 **Cyrus:** A hang out, huh?

 **TJ:** Yeah!

 **TJ:** Only if you want to of course :) 

 **Cyrus:**  That sounds fun

 **Cyrus:**  When? And where?

 **TJ:** You could come over maybe?

 **Cyrus:** Hmmm

 **Cyrus:** How do I know for sure that you’re not an axe murderer?

 **TJ:** Okay valid point 

 **TJ:** But I promise I’m not an axe murderer

 **Cyrus:**  ...That sounds like something an axe murderer would say

 **TJ:** Fiine, then what about that park near the café?

 **Cyrus:** Sure! Does tomorrow at 3 work?

 **TJ:** It does! 

 **TJ:** I’ll see you then :) 

 

Cyrus put his phone down with a heavy sigh. It was Saturday now, and he was reading over his conversation with TJ to check their meeting time. He honestly wasn’t sure if it was the caffeine or the lack of sleep that had somehow made him agree to hang out with someone he barely knew, but he had, and that was why he was currently turning his room upside-down in search of clothes to wear. 

A glance out of his window confirmed that the dreary sky from yesterday had been replaced with clear blue. There was sun streaming through his parted curtains, creating a strip of dust-speckled light across his navy blue bed covers.

Eventually, he managed to narrow his choices down to two pairs of jeans; one a light shade of blue and the other a darker shade of blue, along two patterned shirts. 

He groaned in despair after a few minutes and collapsed down onto his bed. Usually, he would send pictures to either Buffy or Andi in order to help him choose, but he knew this time that would only lead to questions he  _really_  couldn’t answer.

 

_Why was he even overthinking it this much?_

 

He wanted to say that it was just his brain - he  _was_  very prone to over complicating things after all, and social interactions weren’t exempt from that, but deep down he knew that wasn’t the only reason. 

There was something about TJ that made him feel jittery inside in a way he hadn’t felt since -  _no_ pe.  _He wasn’t going there._

He propped himself up his elbows and slowly got up, attempting to fix his hair slightly as he looked down at the jean and shirt combos. 

He eventually settled for his dark blue jeans and a slightly obnoxious polka-dotted button up. To be fair though - he  _could’ve_  chosen his slightly  _more_ obnoxious dinosaur patterned shirt, but he refrained. That one was a ‘hang out with close friends’ kind of shirt.

The walk was a quick one, and for once he found himself taking in the scenery around him rather than scrolling through his phone. The park was right by a busy intersection, which wasn’t exactly the best placement if you asked him, but it  _did_  add a nice pop of green to what would otherwise be a relatively dull street. 

The sun was still shining but it wasn’t hot in the slightest, even by  _his_  standards. There was soft, pleasant breeze gusting past him as he walked down the path, spotting TJ dangling on a swing in the distance.

He quickened his pace slightly (a  _very_  rare occurrence for him), and after a minute or so he was approaching the boy with a smile.

“Hey there!” 

TJ jumped slightly and looked up from his phone, eyes wide.

“You weren’t expecting me?” Cyrus teased, moving to take the swing next to him.

“Pfft, of course I was!” TJ insisted, pocketing his phone. “Just not now. You’re early, you know?”

Cyrus raised an amused eyebrow. “You’re earlier.” 

“I’m always early.” 

“Really?”

TJ smirked slightly at that, but didn’t respond otherwise. Cyrus couldn’t help but think he didn’t how to. 

The wind had picked up slightly by now, rustling the oak trees around them and displacing a few of the acorns that littered the path in front of them. 

“Oh! I almost forgot,” TJ said suddenly, reaching over to pick up his bag from the ground. He rummaged around for a few moments before pulling out a bag of gummy bears, laughing slightly at the way Cyrus’ face instantly lit up. 

“You brought gummy bears!” he exclaimed, not even bothering to hide his excitement in the slightest.

TJ just laughed again and got up from his swing, offering the bag to Cyrus. “My sister was going to bring them to her - uh -  _friend’s_  place a few days ago but she completely forgot about them so...they’re mine now.” 

“I know I should feel bad but...gummy bears!” 

TJ had a fond smile on his face as he watched Cyrus grab a handful. 

“You don’t care about the colours?” he asked as he moved back over to his swing and sat down.

“Nope. Not at all.”

Silence settled for a few moments after that as they began making their way through the gummy bears.

“So Cyrus,” TJ began, pushing off the ground to start swinging slightly. “What sort of stuff are you interested in?”

There was a playful lilt to TJ’s voice now, which had Cyrus’ stomach flipping. He contemplated for a moment before responding, somewhat hesitantly.

“Well...I like reading and writing. Oh - and baking! Even though I’m terrible at it. My friend got me into bracelet-making and knitting recently, so I’ve been doing that too.” 

TJ’s fond smile was back in full force. “Cute,” he responded.

 

_Wait. Cute?_

 

“What about you?” Cyrus asked quickly, choosing not to acknowledge the comment because his face already felt like it was on fire and _that_ would only make it worse.

TJ was swinging a bit higher now, while Cyrus was only swaying slightly.

“I like reading too,” he said after a moment. “But I  _really_  like dancing.” 

“Dancing?” Cyrus inquired, trying hard to mask his shock. He obviously didn’t do a great job though, because TJ began to laugh.

“Yup,” He smiled. “Surprised?” 

“No! Um - I mean - well...kind of. What kind of dancing?” 

“Hip-hop mainly, but I like other styles too,” TJ replied, clearly amused.

“Oh,” was all Cyrus could muster in response.

He fell silent for a moment, before adding “Maybe you could show me a routine?” 

He honestly meant for the words to come out jokingly, but he realized almost instantly he fell short. Drastically. 

TJ got up with a smirk. “You wanna see a routine?” 

“No!” Cyrus exclaimed, regretting the comment almost immediately, “I mean - yes! But only if you’re comfortable with-“

“I’m comfortable,” TJ assured him, shaking out his arms and legs as he moved over to the grass. “If I were wearing jeans on the other hand... _then_  I wouldn’t be.” 

Cyrus found himself laughing nervously at that. TJ looked good like this -  _far_  too good if you asked him, with sweatpants, a white shirt and wind-swept hair that somehow managed to fall nicely regardless. Now he was going to _dance_?

He hastily tried to tune back into what TJ was saying as he stretched.

“...There’s this song that we’ve been practising at the studio recently, I think you’d probably know it, it’s called 7 rings?” 

Cyrus was almost certain he was gaping now but he didn’t know how to stop. TJ was going to dance to  _7 rings?_ Oh god. Oh  _god_.

“Uh...” he trailed off, trying desperately to compose himself. “I do know it. It’s on my phone, actually. Should I play it?” 

TJ smiled and nodded. “That’d be good. I kinda wanna wait for that family over there to get in their car though.” 

He nodded towards a spot behind Cyrus, and he instantly turned around. As it turns out, there  _was_  a family there, loading their car up and buckling their toddler in. They were all inside after a few minutes, and the park was left surprisingly empty again as they drove away. 

“Okay!” TJ announced, pulling Cyrus right out of his thoughts. “I’m ready when you are.”

 _So - never,_ he couldn’t help but think as he smiled and opened his music app. He looked up at TJ and gave him a questioning look, his finger hovering over the play button. TJ nodded, and Cyrus tapped it, his traitorous heart racing as he looked at the boy.

TJ began by strutting forward, his hand on his hip and his head held high. Then - he was off, his movements fluid in a way that had Cyrus mesmerised almost instantly. They were precise and obviously calculated, but free at the same time as he moved across the grass. The wind had calmed down by now, and the lyrics rung out clearly as he danced.

 

_You like my hair, gee thanks! Just got it, I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it_

 

To say Cyrus was a blushing mess would be a severe understatement. He could  _feel_  his face growing redder by the moment, if that was even possible, and he very desperately hoped that TJ was too caught up in his routine to notice.

He looked even  _better_  like this, psssion evident in his movements, and Cyrus couldn’t pry his eyes away until the very closing lyric, which had TJ ending up on the grass with his knees bent and his shoulder raised as he looked directly at Cyrus.

 

_Shit._

 

“That was so good!” he ended up blurting, and that had TJ laughing as he got up.

“Thanks!” 

Cyrus’ heart was still racing as TJ sat down again, and he found himself bringing both of his hands up to his face in attempt to cool it down. The only problem was that his hands were  _also_  warm - probably even warmer than his face was. 

 

_Why did he have to be so prone to blushing?_

 

“You look warm,” TJ said suddenly.

Cyrus very nearly jumped at that.

"Really?” he responded, trying hard to seem casual as lowered his hands. “I don’t feel warm.” 

The boy lifted a disbelieving eyebrow, a slight smirk at the corner of his lips. “Sure you don’t,” he teased as he got up again. 

Cyrus was frozen as he walked over, stopping right in front of his swing. 

“Uh...” he managed, gripping the chains beside him.

“I always have cold hands,” TJ explained, placing them gently on Cyrus’ cheeks.

There they were - at the edge of an empty park right by a main road, the sun shining and a breeze ghosting over them, TJ standing in front of Cyrus with his (very soft) hands pressed to the boy’s face. 

This was totally, 100% normal. 

“You’re right,” he murmured after a moment, barely daring to breathe. “They  _are_  cold.” 

“Told you,” TJ responded, but for some reason he didn’t seem so smug now. He actually seemed  _hesitant_ , his expression nervous and his lips parted slightly. Cyrus couldn’t help but smile.

“Okay, I think my face is sufficiently cold now.” he told the boy, a part of him regretting the words instantly.

TJ laughed slightly and stepped away, clearly thinking up a way to ease any awkwardness.

“Um...gummy bear?” he offered, grabbing the bag again. 

Cyrus let out a small sigh of relief. “Yeah. Please.” 

 

~

 

“Oh look, here come the saints in uniform!” 

Cyrus gave Buffy a stern look at that, but her annoyance seemed to get the better of her because she stopped to retaliate anyway.

“Oh look - here come the losers of last year’s basketball final! Who knows? Maybe uniforms make better players.” 

The rivalry between Jefferson High and Salt Lake Academy was infamous, and every year it only seemed to grow more heated. Cyrus couldn’t help but think it had officially passed the point of being ‘friendly competition.’

“Don’t act all high and mighty, Driscoll,” the ringleader jeered. “If it weren’t for that scholarship, you’d be over here with us.” 

“You’re right,” Buffy began through gritted teeth, taking a step forward. “And you know what? If I  _were_  over there, maybe you’d actually be  _winning_ some of your games.”

Andi sighed heavily and tugged at the sleeve of Buffy’s school jumper. “These guys aren’t worth it, Buffy. Let’s just go.” 

The girl immediately softened at that, throwing one last annoyed glance over her shoulder as they began making their way again.

“I can’t believe half of those Jefferson kids,” Buffy mumbled. 

Cyrus shrugged. “A lot of them are nice.”

“ _That’s_  because everyone likes you the moment you start talking to them, Cyrus.” 

“Buffy Driscoll, are you saying that I’m  _likeable?_ “

Buffy was smiling now. “I’m  _saying_  that barely anyone can find it within themselves to be mad at you.” 

“Not with those adorable eyes!” Andi teased, giving her friend a playful nudge as they walked through the school gates.

“Well, I  _do_  pride myself on my ‘I’m innocent and sweet so please don’t raise your voice at me’ look,” Cyrus bragged. “It even works on teachers!” 

Andi and Buffy exchanged an amused look. 

The sun was out, much like the day before, except now it was bringing heat with it -  _far_  too much heat if you asked Cyrus. As they crossed the basketball court, he let out a dramatic groan.

“I’m already dying,” he complained.

“Cyrus, it’s literally 8am on the first day. You  _can’t_  be dying yet.” Buffy deadpanned.

“Valid point,” he responded with a sigh. 

Buffy playfully rolled her eyes. “Just think - all you have to do is survive today, then you can go home and...uh...”

“Do homework?” he finished.

She winced. “Yeah.” 

They were at their lockers in no time after that, pulling out books and preparing for their first subjects.

“Think you’ll survive Bio?” Andi asked as they made their way to class.

“Barely. You?”

“Only if you poke me every few seconds so I don’t fall asleep.”

Cyrus laughed slightly. “How many hours of sleep did you get last night?”

“Not enough. But I was up late talking to someone!” she defended.

“Who?” 

She seemed to realize her mistake then, because she began to back-track.

“I mean - I wasn’t actually talking! I was texting - with my...internet friend.“ 

Cyrus gave her a playful poke. “You’re very convincing, you know that?”

Andi just stuck her tongue out as they walked into the classroom, and Cyrus knew then that he probably shouldn’t push it.

 

~

 

The next few periods crept by a  _criminally_  slow pace, but eventually Cyrus was free to sit with Andi at the cafeteria. She was talking animatedly about about all of the bracelets  she could make out of a box of old magazines Cece didn’t need anymore, Cyrus nodding along enthusiastically, when’s Buffy bounded up to their table.

“Guys!” She called, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she skidded to a halt in front of their table. “I signed up for Salt Lake’s new school dance team!”

“Salt lake has a _dance_  team now?” Andi asked, moving slightly to free up a spot.

“I know, right? I only found out about it through the coach during second period. Apparently Jefferson High has had a team for like 2 years now, so you know what that means!”

Cyrus lowered his muffin, confusion written all over his face. “...What  _does_  that mean?”

“Another thing to beat them in.” Buffy responded with a smug smile.

Andi couldn’t help but laugh. “You seriously have a one-track mind, Buffy. How do you know they won’t be better than you guys?” 

“The coach said they’re all pretty average,” she explained, pausing for a moment to sip her drink. “Except for this this one guy who’s apparently been dancing for ages. TJ I think it was? But that doesn’t matter, with some practise I’ll be top of the dancing game in no time.” 

Cyrus let out a nervous laugh, his stomach turning as he put down his own drink.

“What - uh - did you say that guy’s name was?”

“TJ,” Buffy replied slowly. “Why?”

“No reason! Just curious,” Cyrus assured, trying hard to keep his cool. He glanced around at the swarms of the students filling the cafeteria, feeling his stomach drop even further at the confirmation.

 

_This could not be happening._

 


	2. The antique shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy and Iris begin to grow suspicious about who Cyrus is messaging. TJ invites Cyrus to hang out again. A comment from Cyrus' step-dad leads to a late night phone call between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedications:
> 
> Micah (@bezlque on tumblr) - for being the literal sweetest + having the most godtier ideas!  
> Lucas (@thegoodmantj on tumblr) - for being for being so supportive and sweet!

There were a lot things about Buffy’s announcement that made Cyrus nervous, but it was the fact that she’d be competing against TJ in particular that was worrying him the most at that moment. 

As he watched the girl in the hall the following day, he could already tell that she was going to put her absolute all into this routine, and judging by what he had seen from TJ, he’d be doing the same. Buffy was  _known_ for going slightly overboard with competitive spirit sometimes, and the very last thing he needed was a reason for her to get mad at him. 

Cyrus was almost certain that they’d both be the best of their teams, and they seemed like personalities that could very easily clash under the given circumstances.

“Whatcha thinking ‘bout, babe?” 

He blinked out of his daze at that, shifting his gaze towards Iris. He gave her a questioning look, before glancing quickly over at the small group of boys playing basketball right by them.

“Nothing,” he smiled automatically, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Buffy stopped her routine for a split second to give both of them withering looks, her eyes narrowed sceptically. Cyrus just raised both of his eyebrows, almost challenging her to say something about it, but she just lifted her arms again with a sigh and continued on with her routine.

Cyrus wished there was an easy way of explaining how he had ended up in this predicament. He and Iris had been faking their relationship since the eighth grade, which was around the time they had both come out to one another. 

At first they had done it to combat a few rumours that were going around about Cyrus at the time, but it eventually just became something like a habit for both of them. It meant that neither of them could be outed until they were fully ready, and he was honestly comfortable with the set-up they had. It wasn’t doing anyone harm, so they never felt the need to break it off.

Buffy, being the straight-forward person that she was, thought the whole idea had been terrible from the get-go.

The doors to the auditorium swung open with a light bang then, and Natalie walked inside.

“Oops,” she winced as she made her way over to Buffy.

Buffy immediately smiled, pulling the girl into a quick hug. “I’m so glad you’re here, I have no idea what to do with this part-“ 

Cyrus pointedly cleared his throat, giving Iris a playful nudge as she pretended to be  _very_  engrossed with her phone.

“Your favourite frisbee thrower is joining the dance team,” he teased, narrowly dodging the girl’s swat at him.

“You seriously need to get a crush already,” she huffed. 

At Cyrus’ silence, she looked back over at him with a startled grin. “Wait -  _do_  you have one?”

“What - no!” he exclaimed, maybe a little too loudly because it had both Buffy and Natalie sending him confused looks.

“That sounded pretty defensive, Cyrus,” Iris teased, “overcompensating, perhaps?” 

“Nope,” he responded with a laugh, lowering his voice again. “Boys are all annoying anyway.” 

“You know there’s an easy fix to that, right? Become a lesbian.” 

Cyrus rolled his eyes. “Ah, yes. Because that’s something I can just magically do.” 

“That’s the spirit!” She smiled.

Natalie’s eyes swept over both of them as he sipped her water, an eyebrow raised in question. She turned back to Buffy after a moment, but that look alone was telling enough if you asked Cyrus.

“She likes you,” he mumbled, earning himself another playful swat.

“No she doesn’t! I bet she’s just scarred from that time I accident spilt my milkshake on her.”

Cyrus snorted. “Okay, but you ended up lending her your jacket after that, so it was a win if you ask me.” 

“Yeah, but  _then_  she overheard our conversation, which consisted entirely of listing every type of dinosaur we could off the top of our heads.”

“Hey - that would’ve  _impressed_  her if anything!” 

“Sure,” she laughed.

It was about half an hour later when Buffy and Natalie decided to call it quits. Natalie was talking to Iris as they walked down the corridor, with Buffy and Cyrus following close behind.

At the first text notification, Cyrus very nearly had a heart attack. It rang out through the hall so sharply that he couldn’t help but wince. It was soon followed by another, which had him hastily pulling it out of his pocket and successfully turning it to silent after a bit of fumbling.  

Buffy raised an eyebrow at him. “Who’s that?”

Cyrus knew who it was, but that was information Buffy  _really_  didn’t need to know at that point in time.

“Uh...” he stalled, thinking up the most plausible option. “My mom. She probably just wants me home.” 

Iris was glancing over her shoulder at him now, her smile knowing. “Your mom, huh?”

“Yup! I’ll just respond real quick.” he said, holding it close to him as he typed in the passcode. His breathing caught slightly when he read the name, even though he had been fairly certain of who it was the moment his phone went off. He glanced back up at Buffy with a timid smile, knowing well that she’d  _definitely_  bring this back up in future.

 

 **TJ:**  Hey Cyrus!  

 **TJ:** Or Cy

 **TJ:** Still trying to think of a good nickname for you

 **TJ:**  Oh! What about gummy bear?

 **TJ:**  Actually wait no that’s terrible lol  

 **TJ:**  ANYWAY, wanna hang out at that café this afternoon if ur free? I’ll buy u coffee :) 

 **Cyrus:** You had me at ‘I’ll buy u coffee’ 

 **TJ:** I knew that would do it! 

 **TJ:**  See u at 4? 

 **Cyrus:** I’ll see you then :) 

 

Cyrus couldn’t contain a wide smile as he pocketed his phone again, and Buffy was very quick to notice.

“You seem pretty happy for someone who’s just texting their mom.”

“She said we’re having pancakes for dinner,” he lied.

Buffy rolled her eyes. They had reached their lockers by now, and they both separated to begin packing their bags. Iris and Natalie kept walking towards the senior locker area, so focused on their conversation they barely noticed that Cyrus and Buffy weren’t behind them anymore.

“Uh - so Buffy, I was wondering...”

“Wondering what?” 

Cyrus hesitated for a moment, feeling a wave of guilt crash over him. He was going to ask if there was any way he could skip her first dance competition, but he knew that doing it just to avoid one person wouldn’t be fair to Buffy in the slightest.

“...Where are these dance competitions being held? Just so I know where to go.” 

Buffy’s face brightened. “Oh! It’s at that massive studio near Jefferson High. I’ll text you the address when I get home.” 

“Great!” Cyrus responded, pulling out his bag from the locker with a slight wince. 

 

_Maybe he could ask TJ to pretend he didn’t know him?_

 

“Are you walking today?” she asked him as they made their way towards the front entrance. 

“Uh...no actually. I’m being picked up. But I can walk with you tomorrow?” 

“Sounds like a plan,” she smiled, pulling him into a quick hug. “See ya.” 

“See ya!” 

He lingered there for five minutes after she had left to make sure she was well and truly out of the vicinity, before heading out to the gates and towards the café.

It was warm inside when he arrived, the bell above him chiming sharply as he gently closed the door behind him. He offered the barista a polite smile before heading over to the corner of the café, where TJ was sat on a cushy blue couch.

“Do I know you?” he asked as he approached, giving him a playful smile. 

TJ looked up from his phone with a slight laugh. “I don’t know.  _Do_  you?” 

“I think so, I swear I’ve seen you around before,” Cyrus continued, squeezing in next to the boy.

TJ shuffled over slightly, letting out an amused huff. His gaze dropped to the shirt Cyrus was wearing, and shock flickered over his face for a moment. 

“Nice uniform, by the way,” he said.

Cyrus’ heart leapt at that. A glance down confirmed that he was, in fact, still wearing his school uniform, but that had escaped him entirely on the way over.

“Uh...” he trailed off, feeling his face grow hot. “Thanks.”

There was a small smirk at the corner of TJ’s lips now as he turned in his spot, his eyes sweeping over the school logo. He paused for a moment, and Cyrus began preparing himself for whatever remark he was going to throw.

“So...rivals, huh? That’s pretty cool. When do we start fighting?”

Cyrus recognised the teasing tone almost instantly, relaxing back against the couch.

“I’m pretty much the weakest person I know, so preferably never,” he responded with a laugh. 

TJ smiled. “Okay, well I guess we can cross ‘fighting’ off our list of hang-out ideas then.”

“Oh - so we have a list of hang-out ideas now?” Cyrus teased, and for once TJ actually looked caught  _off guard._

“No!” he said quickly. “But...if we did, fighting wouldn’t be on it.”

“Gotcha,” he smiled, setting his phone on the small table in front of them.  

It took him a moment or two, but TJ managed to compose himself again after that, his usual smirk back in full force as he looked over at Cyrus. “So what kind of coffee do you usually get?”

“It depends. In the mornings, it’s usually black coffee with way too much sugar, but otherwise iced coffee is pretty good.” 

“Two iced coffees it is!” TJ announced, earning him a strange look from the people one couch over. Cyrus couldn’t help but smile.

TJ got up, stepping past Cyrus and moving towards the counter. His gaze lingered on him for a moment longer, before shifting to take in the rest of the café. There were a few people scattered around, talking quietly or sitting alone on their laptops. Warm light filled the room, which provided a nice contrast to the cold grey clouds outside. The atmosphere almost made him want to curl up with a blanket and a book.

He looked back to TJ, who was saying something to the barista that was making him laugh. There was a smile on his face as he gestured about enthusiastically with his hands, and Cyrus could tell he was telling a (ridiculous) story of some kind. He hadn’t fully realized it up until that point, but TJ seemed to have a presence that charmed most people, and he was unfortunately no exception.

After a minute or so TJ was paying and taking the iced coffees from the barista, thanking him with a smile as he began to walk back over to Cyrus.

“An iced coffee for my rival,” he said, placing the cup down on the table in front of him. 

Cyrus smiled. “Why thank you.” 

TJ sat down, draping a casual arm over the couch behind Cyrus. “So what’s been going on with you?”

“School,” Cyrus responded with a wince, “but...there’s actually something I wanted to ask you.” 

TJ took a sip of his drink, an eyebrow raised in question. “Oh?” 

“Yeah. Basically, I...” Cyrus paused for a moment and sighed. “I have this friend. Her name’s Buffy.”

“Buffy Driscoll?” 

“Uh, yeah actually. How’d you know?” 

TJ just shrugged. “I’ve seen her around.” 

“Okay, well, you might know then that she’s pretty competitive. Especially when it comes to Jefferson High.” 

TJ placed his cup down with a laugh. “You can say that again.” 

Cyrus playfully directed a swat at the boy’s arm. “She’s really great, I swear! But I’m not sure how she’d take to us...y’know...”

The words ‘being friends’ were at the very tip of his tongue, but he didn’t end up using them. If TJ noticed, he didn’t say anything. 

“Basically - I’m trying to ask if you could pretend not to know me at the dance competition.” 

TJ nodded, drawing his arm back slightly. “Sure. I can do that. Watch this-“

He straightened in his seat then, smiling wide and holding out a hand. “Hey,” he began, dragging out the word in a ridiculous fashion. “Nice to meet you! I’m TJ. And you are?”

Cyrus giggled slightly at that, which had TJ’s exaggerated facade melting in an instant.

“No one will suspect a thing!” he cheered, gladly accepting the boy’s handshake.

TJ pulled away after a few moments, shaking his head in amusement. “For real though, I’ll pretend not to know you if that’s what you want.”

“Well, it’s not really what I  _want_  per se...” Cyrus trailed off, looking down at his lap. “I just think it’d be better for now.” 

TJ nodded and grabbed his drink again. “That’s fine.” 

He hesitated for a moment after that, glancing out the window. “Hey...do you wanna get out of here?”

“Where to?” Cyrus asked.

“Wellll,” TJ began, scanning the shops outside. “There’s this cool antique shop we could go to?”

“Sure,” Cyrus shrugged, grabbing his phone and his drink from the table. 

They headed over to the glass doors from there, TJ’s hand lingering slightly on Cyrus’ back. He gave the barista a warm smile on the way out that had Cyrus melting. 

“So...do you go this antique shop often?” he asked, smiling slightly when TJ held the door open for him. 

“Yeah - too much, probably.” 

The clouds that were blanketing the sky had turned an even darker shade of grey now, looming overhead with the threat of a storm at any moment. The winds were picking up now too, and Cyrus found himself subconsciously walking closer to TJ as they wove through the crowds. They kept walking like this for a few minutes, with TJ glancing toward Cyrus occasionally to make sure he hadn’t lost the boy somehow.

Light rain was beginning to splatter on the ground when they reached the shop, and Cyrus could honestly say it fit the mold of a typical antique store almost perfectly. Its windows seemed slightly dingy, with a frail-looking wooden door that had various patterns carved into it. TJ opened it for him, and soon they were stepping into a room that was (thankfully) a lot warmer than what it was on the outside.  

“I can’t say I expected this from  _you_  of all people,” Cyrus began, stepping forward slowly to observe some of the aisles they had. 

TJ just smiled. “I think it’s cosy.” 

They wandered around the store for a while, TJ jumping in to tell him excitedly about the history behind certain items. Cyrus wasn’t sure if it was the items themselves or the way TJ’s eyes lit up while he was talking about them, but he found himself hanging onto every word.

They arrived at a rack of crystal necklaces, all with descriptions of what they represented.

“This one’s pretty,” he mumbled, gesturing to a moonstone necklace. 

“Most common meaning: new beginnings.” TJ read aloud.

Cyrus carefully took it of its rack and examined it for a moment. 

“Do you want it? ‘Cause I can get it for you.”

He looked up with a smile. “You already paid for the coffee, so I think I’ll get this one.”

It was half an hour later when they both walked out of the store again, Cyrus with the necklace in his pocket and TJ with a small cat sculpture in a bag. 

They immediately took off towards the nearest shelter, laughing harder than they probably should’ve been as they got splashed by rain. Some of the looks they were getting at this point were bewildered, but for once Cyrus wasn’t thinking about that. 

“Thanks for inviting me out,” he breathed, right in TJ’s space as they crowded under the small sliver of a furniture store’s overhang. 

TJ had one of those bright smiles on his face, his cheeks reddened slightly by the cold. “Thanks for coming.” 

Cyrus paused for a moment, uncertainty written on his face, before adding “I think I’ll probably stay here until the rain clears up.”

TJ smiled again. “Me too.” 

 

~

 

Cyrus loved his mom and his step-dad, he really did, but it was times like these that he remembered why he was so far in the closet.

It was evening now and he had just finished dinner with all four of his parents, celebrating a promotion his dad had gotten at the clinic. It was rare that the bottles of wine they stored were ever broken out, but on this particular occasion they were.

It was dark out, with warm light flooding the living room as the fireplace crackled and they all settled down on the couches, conversing amongst themselves.

 

It started out innocent enough.

 

“So Cyrus, you’re still with that girl right? Iris?” his step-dad questioned, the effects of the wine apparent almost immediately in his slow speech.

Cyrus, who was sat on a recliner by himself, shifted uncomfortably. 

“Yeah,” he responded, feeling so trapped by the lie he didn’t know what else to say.

“Still going strong - I’m glad,” he said.

Cyrus nodded, feeling a very familiar sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. “Still going strong,” he confirmed with a forced smile.

“You know,” he began, hiccupping slightly. “For a few months there I was worried you might’ve been gay or something.” 

 

Cyrus took a deep breath.  _He’s drunk, he doesn’t mean it. He’s drunk, he doesn’t mean it, he’s drunk, he doesn’t-_

 

“Now Michael,” his mom reprimanded. “That’s not a very good thing to say.” 

Her tone was half-hearted, and Cyrus had become so used to it he couldn’t bring himself to be disappointed. He knew for a fact that his mom wasn’t homophobic, but she usually wasn’t quick to shut down his step-dad’s comments either. It always made him wonder what they would do if he ever were to come out as gay.

His dad must’ve noticed the look on Cyrus’ face, because he pointedly set his drink down. “I’d love Cyrus no matter what personally, I’m sure you could all say the same-“

“It was a joke!” his step-dad interrupted with a laugh. “You guys take yourselves way too seriously sometimes.” 

Cyrus sank down in his chair. His step-dad wasn’t aggressively homophobic by any means, but his anxieties about coming out to him never failed to keep him awake at night anyway.

It wasn’t violence in particular that he was scared of; it was the idea of having to be begrudgingly accepted, or just tolerated at best. Being seen as something that ‘could’ve been’, but wasn’t, something hidden away at family gatherings. One of the last things he wanted to be was a disappointment, especially to any of his parents.

“Is it okay if I go up to my room now? I have a bit of a headache,” he said quietly, rising from his chair. 

His dad nodded, giving him one last kind smile as he retreated upstairs to his room. 

He turned his desk-lamp on and drew the curtains shut, throwing himself onto the bed with a groan and grabbing his phone.

 

**the ghc <3**

**Cyrus:** Hey, are you guys there?

 **Cyrus:**  Either of you? 

 

After 10 minutes he still hadn’t gotten a response, so he could only assume that his friends had fallen asleep. He scrolled through his contacts for a few moments, searching for anyone that could ground him even  _slightly_. 

Cyrus instantly stopped when he saw TJ’s name, his heart skipping a beat. He thought back to that day, and how comfortable he had felt with TJ there, making him laugh at the most ridiculous things and rambling to him about items at an antique store. He hesitated for a moment longer, his finger hovering over the call button, before taking a deep breath and tapping on it. 

It rang once. Then twice. Then three times. Then-

“Hello?” 

For some reason, he felt himself relax slightly. 

“TJ,” he breathed out, barely even thinking about how strange this must’ve been for the other boy. 

“You okay?” 

Cyrus laughed dryly at that, toying with his bed covers while he thought about how to respond.

“I think so. I just kinda needed to hear someone’s voice.”

“Oh...” TJ trailed off, clearly knowing there was more to it than that. “Well that’s okay! Anything you wanna talk about in particular?”

“Did you have history today?” Cyrus asked him, manoeuvring himself so that he was laying down on his stomach, propped up on his elbows.

“Yeah, actually. Why?”

“Wanna tell me about it?” 

Cyrus could practically  _hear_  TJ’s smile at that. 

“Sure,” the boy responded, and then he was off, telling Cyrus everything they had learnt about World War 2 that day.

Cyrus clung onto every word, eventually relaxing almost entirely as TJ’s voice rang out through the room. There were times when he wanted nothing more than to talk through the things he was feeling, but there were other times, like this one, where he just desperately needed some sort of distraction.

This distraction just happened to come in the form of a cute boy who was secretly a major history nerd, and Cyrus couldn’t be more grateful. 

 


	3. The basketball game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus would much rather get work done than watch the game between Jefferson High and Salt Lake Academy, that is - until he finds out a certain history nerd will be playing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SM TO MICAH (@bezlque on tumblr) FOR READING OVER THIS AND FIXING THE ERRORS, YOU ARE A LITERAL ANGEL AND ILYSM!!!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr if you want! @heart-eyes-kippen

Cyrus should’ve known from the enlivened atmosphere at school a few days later that something was up, but he didn’t find himself taking much notice as he sat through his classes, tuning out the excited whispers around him.

To him, it was just another school day, and he was struggling to see why everyone was so much more upbeat than they normally were. Teachers were trying about twice as hard to control their classes, and even the people with notoriously good grades seemed to be distracted from their work.

Lunchtime rolled around and he was very close to just snapping and asking someone what on earth was so interesting all a sudden, but Buffy and Andi beat him to it.

“Cyrus!” 

He looked up from his work with a start, clutching a hand over his chest.

“ _Guys,_ ” he scolded gently, sending the librarian a nervous glance. “Keep it down!”  

Buffy just rolled her eyes and placed a piece of paper onto his workbook, covering his writing almost entirely. “Did you seriously forget?”

Cyrus scanned over the paper for a moment.

 

**THE JEFFERSON HIGH JAGUARS VS. THE SALT LAKE RAPTORS**

**DATE:** SEPTEMBER 4TH

 **START TIME:** 12:00PM 

 **LOCATION:** THE INDOOR BASKETBALL COURTS

 

There was a corny basketball comic at the bottom of the page, and Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh.

_He should’ve known. It was glaringly obvious now that he looked back at everyone’s behaviour._

“Cool,” he said simply, brushing the paper away and picking his pen up again. 

“ _Cool?”_ Buffy spluttered. “It’s the first game! You  _have_  to come!” 

“I don’t see a contract anywhere,” Cyrus shrugged. “And besides - you’re not playing, so what’s the point?” 

Buffy softened slightly at that _,_ but she still looked indignant as he picked up the paper. Andi, who didn’t really have an affinity for sports anyway, continued to linger neutrally in the background.

Cyrus raised an eyebrow at Buffy, who stood there with her arms folded.

“ _Fine_ ,” she relented after a few moments. “You don’t have to come...but you’ll definitely be at my dance competition, right?” 

“Of course I will! I obviously have to see the slayer in action.” 

Buffy smiled slightly at that, and Cyrus could tell she had caved. “Okay - I’ll see you in Maths then.”

She turned to walk away, while Andi lingered for a moment longer to desperately mouth the words ‘Help me’ at Cyrus. He just laughed and gave her a playful wave.

“Bye, Andi!” he called, an amused smile on his face as he watched the girl trudge reluctantly after Buffy.

He glanced around the library for a moment, wondering to himself how on  _earth_  he hadn’t noticed the absence of other students earlier. The weather was still dreary outside, which meant that the room would’ve usually been filled to the brim with people gossiping in small circles, playing cards and reading books. On this particular day, the only person he could spot was a bored looking senior student, tapping away at his phone.

No longer than 3 minutes of writing his essay had passed when he heard a loud commotion outside, which he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at. The librarian looked as though she was itching to move from her perch and stalk over to tell them off, but it she was clearly holding back because the boys weren’t actually  _in_  the library.

Cyrus tried to concentrate, but that idea went completely out of the window when he caught a glimpse of someone that looked all too familiar.

He blinked a few times, still processing as he watched TJ through the glass doors, sauntering past with a crew of teammates. There was no mistaking him - his dirty blonde hair was gelled up as normal and he was wearing that _one_  silver ring Cyrus always seemed to notice whenever they hung out. He was wearing bright blue basketball shorts and a singlet, shoving the boys around him playfully as they talked (or rather - shouted) at one another. 

 

_TJ played basketball too?_

 

Cyrus didn’t even take a minute to think about his next move - he was up in a heartbeat, gathering his books frantically and rushing out of the library. 

He made a few stops on the way - namely, his locker so he could drop off his things, then the bathroom so he could fix his hair. If someone asked, he really wouldn’t have been able to tell them  _why_  he was so worried about his hair of all things at that moment.

When he reached the double doors Cyrus pretty much threw them open, only to walk right into-

“TJ?!” 

After blinking out of his momentary shock, the boy laughed. They were close now - ridiculously close, and Cyrus began to hold his breath slightly. 

“What’s up?” TJ inquired, his hand ghosting over Cyrus’ waist as he stepped forward and allowed the doors to close behind him.

“I - um - I was just...you know...”

“Checking out the game?” TJ finished, a teasing sparkle in his eye as they began to walk. Cyrus had no clue where they were headed, but he honestly didn’t want to question it.

“Yeah - that! When does it start?” 

“In 10 minutes,” TJ shrugged, gently steering the boy left around a corner. “The team is just warming up a bit first.” 

“Gotcha,” Cyrus breathed, feeling slightly more at ease now. 

TJ stopped in front of a bathroom, an eyebrow raised in question as he pushed the door open.

“Have you ever come to one of these games before?” 

There was something knowing about the way TJ spoke then, but Cyrus didn’t want to think about it. Over analysing all of his social interactions  _really_  hadn’t boded well for him in the past.

“Nope. I’ve only seen the girl’s basketball team play.” 

“Ah. I see.” 

They both stepped inside, and the door shut with a quiet thud behind them. The bathroom was empty, which Cyrus let out a relieved sigh at.

“Soo...” TJ began, stepping toward the mirror. “What exactly made you so interested in coming to this one?”  

Cyrus’ stomach was doing somersaults now. He very desperately hoped that TJ didn’t notice the blush he could already feel warming his face.

He took a moment to compose himself, before walking over to TJ with a smile.

“I’ve just...become very interested in basketball recently.”  

TJ raised a disbelieving eyebrow at that, but he decided to humour the boy anyway.

“Have you now?” he hummed, feigning thoughtfulness. “Any particular reason for that?” 

Cyrus was by TJ’s side now, and the boy turned to face him.

“I watched a few games on TV over the holidays,” he said simply.

TJ rolled his eyes fondly. “Not exactly the answer I was looking for.” 

“Oh? You were looking for an answer?” 

TJ just huffed, turning back to the mirror and leaning forward slightly to examine his hair.

“You can be a little annoying, you know that?”

“Hmm sorry, I’m not sure if I trust the judgement of someone who’s currently fixing their hair before a basketball game,” Cyrus teased, stepping back slightly.

“Hey,” TJ spluttered. “I need to look good for the fans!” 

Cyrus couldn’t help but giggle, which never seemed to fail in making TJ melt completely.

“The  _fans?_  You do realise you’re on Salt Lake territory, right?” 

TJ gave him a bright smile as he headed over to the exit. “Yeah! Fans.” 

Cyrus let out an amused huff. “Sure.” 

TJ was holding the door open for him now, but Cyrus drew back slightly, his expression hesitant.

“You should go first.” he told him. “Buffy and Andi are watching the game and I-“

“You don’t have to explain,” TJ smiled, stepping through the doorway. “I’ll see you out there, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus breathed out.

TJ gave him one last smile before gently closing the door behind him. 

He remained there for what felt like a few minutes, listening to nothing but the gentle pattering of rain on the roof. No one came in thankfully enough, and he was able to escape as inconspicuously as he possibly could’ve. 

Cyrus could hear the distinct sounds of shoes squeaking against hardwood floor from inside the hall, and he knew then that the game had already started. His heart raced as he slowly pushed open the door, trying to draw the least amount of attention he possibly could. 

He  _was_  Cyrus Goodman though, so it was only natural that he tripped over his own feet before even managing to take a single step inside. He ended up on the floor with a slight pain in his arm, but the  _real_  pain began when the crowds of people looked towards him. 

A blush began to bloom from the base of his neck, spreading right up to his cheeks as he felt what seemed like a countless number of eyes on him. Cyrus took a deep breath and tried desperately not to focus on how humiliating the situation was. He began to hear some laughter then, and he could feel himself going into panic mode.

 

_You’re fine, don’t panic, you’re fine, don’t panic, you’re fine, don’t panic, you’re fine, don’t-_

 

“Cyrus?” 

He slowly lifted his head to find TJ hovering over him uncertainly, an arm outstretched.

“You okay?” 

He looked back over to the basketball court, only to find that a timeout had been called.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted, feeling panic begin to rise in his throat despite his best efforts. “I probably cost you a goal or something and I-“

“Hey, hey,” TJ interrupted, gently pulling the boy to his feet. “You’re fine, okay? You didn’t cost us a goal.” 

Cyrus nodded, glancing nervously over TJ’s shoulder at the crowd. His eyes swept over each person, trying desperately to find both Andi and Buffy.

TJ looked over his shoulder meanwhile at two of his teammates, giving them both a subtle nod. 

A few moments later, excited murmuring began to break out amongst the crowd as TJ’s teammate ran over and stole the ball right out of an opposing team member’s casual grip, dribbling it up to the halfway point and shooting from there. It all happened so quickly that the crowd lost interest in Cyrus, and soon enough the shrill sound of a whistle was filling the hall. 

“This is a  _time-out_ , Jones!” he heard an angry voice yell.

An amused grin made its way onto TJ’s lips at that, and he gave his friend a thumbs-up before turning back to Cyrus. “I have to go, but I’ll see you up there okay? Try not to worry about it.” 

All Cyrus could bring himself to do was nod meekly, a soft smile on his face as his eyes followed TJ back over to his teammates. He lingered there for a few more moments, before rushing over to the stands with his head bowed. He had managed to spot the confused faces of both Buffy and Andi right towards the very back of the stands during his searching, and he found himself silently cursing this fact as he stumbled past varying pairs of legs.

“Guys,” he breathed once he had finally reached them, practically collapsing down in a seat. “That was literally worse than  _dying_.” 

Andi smiled sympathetically at that, pulling him for a side-hug. “I know it seemed bad, but I really doubt it was worse than death. At least you’re here now!”

“Yeah,” he breathed out, resting his head gently on her shoulder.

“That guy down there was nice,” Buffy commented, sending a spark of panic through Cyrus.

“What guy?” he said quickly, realising too late that there was no point in playing dumb.

“You know...that one,” she supplied, pointing right at TJ as he jogged across the court.

Cyrus’ eyes widened with realisation.  _Buffy didn’t know what TJ looked like - she just knew that he was a good dancer._

A smile immediately came to his lips. “Yeah! He was.” 

“He shoved one of his teammates for laughing at you,” Andi informed him.

“Really?”

“Yeah. He kind of seemed...protective...for some reason.”

Buffy nodded in agreement. “He was literally by your side within  _seconds_.” 

Cyrus laughed nervously. “Weird...” he agreed, sinking down in his seat. 

The lighting that filled the hall was a lot warmer in comparison to the corridors, which were were washed out with a dull grey as a result of the overcast weather. It was lit up by large, yellow-tinged lights, and it made Cyrus feel safer for some reason. He felt himself relax slightly as Andi wrapped an arm around him.

TJ took off down the court then, sending Cyrus a look that was so fleeting he thought he had imagined it for a moment. Another quick glance a few moments later confirmed that he hadn’t, and a fluttery feeling filled his stomach as he watched TJ leap into the air and shoot.

The grin he gave Cyrus after that was undeniable, his hair dishevelled and his cheeks tinged red. Somehow, TJ managed to make the look work, and that fact left Cyrus despairing for a few moments over how damn  _cute_  he was.  _Even_  when he wasn’t trying.

Cyrus honestly didn’t know the first thing about basketball, so the game really shouldn’t have been as engaging as it was. He could feel it as it grew hotter and hotter within the hall, but not once did the thought of leaving for a bit of fresh air cross his mind. He just watched TJ moved across the court, smiling slightly whenever the boy spared him a glance.

Neither Buffy or Andi brought up the fact that Cyrus was at the game despite saying he didn’t want to come, which he was very grateful for. He  _really_  wasn’t good at lying; especially to his friends.

It wasn’t a close game in the end. The Jaguars were in the lead by a fair margin (much to Buffy’s dismay), and Cyrus had already been caught out twice looking happy for them when they’d scored. 

“Cyrus!” Buffy scolded, an exasperated look on her face. “That’s the  _third_  time you’ve looked happy about the Jaguars scoring! You  _do_  know what school you go to, right?” 

Cyrus just shrugged, still feeling slightly embarrassed about the automatic cheer that had escaped him when TJ scored. “I think it’s good to support both sides.” 

Buffy sighed and began looking around the hall in an exaggerated fashion, a hand held up to shield her eyes from the (non-existent) sunlight. “I’m searching for where that even makes  _any_  sense in the slightest, but...I’m not finding anything.”

“That’s because you have a one-track mind, Buffy,” Andi explained teasingly. “And it’s constantly yelling ‘Winning is the most important thing in the world!’” 

“Hey! I  _don’t_  think winning is the important thing in the world!”

Andi gave her a bewildered look. “Really-“

“I  _know_  it’s the important thing in the world.”

Cyrus smiled slightly and nodded. “Ah. There it is.”

At the collective sound of groans around them,  they all turned their attention back to the game. TJ had scored yet again, and there were now 30 seconds left on the clock. 

Buffy sank down in her seat with a sigh. “We’re going to lose,” she said simply. 

“I mean...” Cyrus trailed off, glancing up at the scoreboard. “Actually yeah, nevermind - we’re going to lose.” 

The last few seconds weren’t tense in the slightest - everyone knew who was going to win, and the Salt Lake students had already resigned themselves to this fact. 

TJ and his teammates all came together for a group hug at the end, and Cyrus couldn’t help the smile that came to his lips. He had never been big on school spirit anyway, and seeing TJ laugh like that made his heart melt.

“I have to stay behind and talk to the coach,” Buffy said as he stood up.

Andi shrugged. “I’ll wait with you.” 

Both of their gazes turned to Cyrus, who was slightly caught up in a staring contest with TJ.

“Um...I kind of have to do something. But I’ll see you guys out there!” 

Buffy and Andi exchanged an indecipherable look at that, before shrugging slightly and heading down towards the court. Cyrus watched them go for a moment, before rushing down the stands and towards the exit. Students were already beginning to traipse out, complaining about their loss as they went. 

TJ’s eyes met his amongst the crowd, and the boy immediately separated himself from the team, making his way over to Cyrus. 

Cyrus managed to reach a wall, remaining there until TJ approached him with one of his bright smiles. He was right in Cyrus’ space to avoid the crowds, and Cyrus may have forgotten how to breathe for a moment or two.

“You played a good game,” he said.

TJ’s smile widened. “Did I?” 

“You  _know_  you did,” Cyrus responded with a laugh. 

Silence fell for a moment. Cyrus could still hear the rain pattering away against the roof, except now it seemed obnoxiously loud. 

“Look,” TJ began. “I’m really sorry for coming up to you, I know your friend probably saw and-“

“TJ. It’s okay.” 

“It is?”

Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh. “I fell over and you helped me! How could I possibly be mad at you for that?” 

TJ shrugged slightly, and Cyrus honestly couldn’t tell if his face was red from the game or because he was embarrassed.

“Are you okay now, by the way?” TJ asked.

“Yeah! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know...I guess it kind of looked like you were about to - um - nevermind. Did you hurt yourself?”

Cyrus gave him a puzzled look. “No. I didn’t. What were you going to say?” 

“Nothing.”

Cyrus folded his arms stubbornly.

TJ laughed slightly and raised his arms in mock surrender. “I swear!” 

“Sure. I believe you.” 

TJ rolled his eyes at that, but he was still smiling. “Wanna call again tonight? I’m home alone and I’ll probably be bored to death.” 

“That  _would_  be pretty unfortunate,” Cyrus teased. “So sure! What time?” 

“Hm...does 10 work?”

“It does, yeah.” 

“Cool!” 

The crowds had eased up by now, with small groups of friend exiting the hall rather than massive swarms of people. 

Cyrus gave TJ a soft smile. “I should probably get to my locker, and  _you_  should probably get to your team.”

“You're right. Talk later?” 

“Talk later,” Cyrus confirmed.

TJ jogged away after that, leaving Cyrus to stand there for a moment with a small smile. His stomach dropped when noticed Iris by her locker, waving him over. 

He smiled nervously as he approached.

“ _Who_  was that?” she demanded.

“Well hello to you too.”

Iris just rolled her eyes, a smug smile on her face. “He was cute.” 

“Pfft, I mean, I guess so, I really don’t-“

“He’s the person you were messaging a few days ago, isn’t he?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged.

“So...he must be pretty special if he was making you smile that much.”

“Iris!” he groaned. “I  _don’t_  like him!” 

She just raised an amused eyebrow at that, shutting her locker with a slight bang. “Okay. I believe you.” 

Cyrus just rolled his eyes. 

 _So what if TJ was cute? Or if he flirted with Cyrus sometimes? That didn’t mean they actually liked each other..._  

_Right?_

 


	4. The dance battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Jefferson High and Salt Lake Academy dance teams compete. Drama ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Dedication to Micah again (@bezlque on tumblr) because he edited this chapter and is also an sweetheart who deserves all the love!  
> ILYSM MICAH!

Buffy and her team met up consistently over the next three weeks, meticulously going through every aspect of their routine to ensure they were all in sync. Buffy was particularly hung up over of all the minor details, and Cyrus could see that she was leaving each practice session more and more frazzled.

He only saw TJ twice during this time period, and he would never admit it aloud but the number of times he found himself looking out the window during class and missing TJ, with his sweet smiles and his compliments and his weirdly extensive knowledge about historical events, was _alarming_. Even _he_ wasn’t blind to the chemistry they had when they were together, subtly drawing them closer whenever they walked and crackling in the air around them whenever they paused for a moment, smiling softly at one another.

TJ was _just_ as charming over text message as he was in real life, and without seeming dramatic, it was kind of beginning to ruin Cyrus’ life. _Surely_ it was unhealthy to smile as wide as he did saw that TJ was typing a text and _surely_ he shouldn’t be getting as many butterflies in his stomach as he did whenever TJ called him late at night, his voice rough in the most heart-melting way possible.

It was one of those nights. He could see bright stars dotting the clear black sky through his window, the moon flooding his room with pale light. He had a small rainbow night light on next to his drawers, and he was sprawled across his bed with a soft smile on his face. It was quiet in his house, with the faint sounds of their dishwasher running downstairs being the only thing he could hear in his room.

His eyes scanned the room for a moment, already adjusted to the darkness. There were a large group of precisely placed polaroid pictures on the wall, mostly of him, Buffy and Andi. There were photos he had taken of scenery too, dark blue oceans and red autumn leaves scattered across a concrete pavement. He reached a photo at the right bottom corner of his collection, and a smile formed on his lips as he took it in. 

“I put that picture of you up on my wall,” he said suddenly.

TJ didn’t respond for a moment, but when he did he sounded surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah - why not? You look cute in it.”

Cyrus hesitated for a moment, feeling his face grow warm at TJ’s silence.

“I mean-“

“I know what you meant,” TJ assured with a slight laugh.

“Okay,” Cyrus breathed, his eyes never leaving that picture of TJ. He was at the café, rain splattered across the window behind him, wearing sunglasses and a smug smile that never failed to make Cyrus’ heart skip a beat.

He couldn’t help but giggle slightly. “I love the fact that you were wearing sunglasses on a day like that.”

 “I wanted to look cool!” TJ defended.

“There are other ways of looking cool, you know?”

“Like what?”

“By being anyone other than you.”

He laughed then, and Cyrus could practically _see_ the amused smile that was probably on the boy’s face when he responded.

“You were calling me cute about 2 seconds ago!”

“ _Cute_ \- not cool,” Cyrus reminded him.

TJ let out an amused huff. “Sure.”

Silence fell for a moment. Cyrus shifted again, laying on his back.

“Is your team ready for the dance battle tomorrow?” He asked.

TJ laughed. “I hope you’re not trying to get exclusive information about our routine, Cyrus.”

“Pfft, of course not! Who do you think I am?”

“Someone who would be more than willing to help their best friend out by getting information?”

“I guess you’re right,” Cyrus admitted, shifting his gaze from the ceiling to his bed covers. “But I promise I’m just asking as a friend.”

TJ went quiet for a moment, and Cyrus couldn’t help but think he was trying to fight back a smile.

“It’s going well - I think we’re more than ready. What about Buffy’s team?”

“Hmm...I think they’re going well too, but I can’t really tell. She always seems stressed when she leaves practise.”

TJ hummed. “I don’t think she has to worry.”

“That’s what I keep telling her! But she’s so focused on winning that she just...”

“Doesn’t see anything but that,” TJ finished, his tone knowing. “I’ve been there.”

“You have?”

“Yeah,” he sighed.

Cyrus heard some rustling on the other end for a moment as TJ shifted, clearly thinking about what to say.

“I’m guessing she hasn’t lost anything she’s competed in before?” he asked.

“Never.”

“Well...when she doesn’t win something, which is pretty much inevitable, I think she might realise that winning isn’t everything.”

“I really can’t see that happening.”

“Neither did I - until it happened.”

Cyrus laughed slightly. “Touché.”

They both fell silent for a few moments. 

“It’s getting late Cy, you should probably get some sleep.”

He was right unfortunately, although Cyrus really didn’t want him to be. He had grown strangely dependent on these phone calls to get him through stressful days at school, and he found himself so completely wrapped up in them that he would lose all concept of time. 

“ _I’m_ not the one who has a dance routine to do tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but you still need sleep! Besides - it’s Friday, I can just sleep in tomorrow morning.”

“I guess you’re right...”

Cyrus could hear the smile in TJ’s voice when he spoke again, his tone soft.

“Goodnight, Cy.”

He felt his heart flutter at the words. “Goodnight, Teej.” 

He pressed the ‘end call’ button and let out a content sigh, still sprawled across his bed as he hugged his phone to his chest.

_This boy was going to be the death of him._

 

~

 

Jefferson High was an intimidating looking place, with its brick walls and it’s metal fences. Even with the sun shining brightly above it, the building somehow still managed to look threatening, looming overhead in front of a busy street.

Where Salt Lake Academy was modern, Jefferson High was old-fashioned, in dire need of a renovation or two. Some of the concrete was cracked, and the basketball ring was bent in a way that seemed to suggest it was in need of replacement.

He was running a hand up and down Buffy’s back, assuring her again and again that her team had this competition in the bag. She would never admit to it aloud, but Cyrus knew that she had a pretty severe case of pre-performance jitters at that moment, if the way she was bouncing her leg was anything to go by.

The car came to a halt outside of the front gates, and Buffy gave Cyrus’ dad a grateful smile.

“Thanks for dropping me off,” she said.

He waved her off. “It was nothing. Good luck with the routine!“

She smiled wide at that, stepping out of the car and taking a deep breath.

“Call me when you guys need to be picked up, okay?”

Cyrus nodded as he stepped out after Buffy, shivering slightly at cold. “We will, dad. See you soon!”

He closed the car door behind him with a slight bang, before turning to the girl and wincing slightly.

“It’s freezing,” he complained. “It’s not allowed to be _this_ cold when the sun is out.”

Buffy smiled. “Take my jacket then you wimp,” she teased.

Cyrus raised an arm to his chest, feigning offence. “Not all of us are blessed with good circulation, Buffy!“

The girl just rolled her eyes. “Do you want it, or not?”

“Yes please,” he grumbled reluctantly.

Buffy unzipped her puffy pink coat and shrugged it off, handing it over to Cyrus with a smile.

“There. Now you won’t die of frostbite while we perform.”

“I owe you so much,” he said seriously, wriggling into the jacket and sighing in contentment at the warmth it provided.

Buffy’s smile morphed into a tight-lipped frown as they approached the front office, and Cyrus was quick to notice. He reached a hand out to take her hers.

“You’ll be great,” he said firmly. “Remember that.”

“It’s not _me_ I’m worried about,” she sighed.

“Okay - well, your _teammates_ will be great then.”

Despite the shaky nod she gave, Buffy looked determined as he pushed past the glass doors and into the general office. She took her phone from her pocket and scanned over something, still holding Cyrus’ hand.

“It’s this way,” she said after a moment, tugging him gently toward the corridors.

They were lit by yellow lights, with various posters and sign-up sheets filling the wall to his left, while artwork by students filled the wall to his right. He didn’t want to admit it, but as he walked by he found himself scanning the wall in search of TJ’s name. Dance is a form of art after all - maybe he enjoyed other arts?

They walked in relative silence after that. Buffy’s grip had tightened slightly on Cyrus’ hand, so he gave the girl a reassuring squeeze.

TJ’s name was nowhere to be seen.

“You guys have spent ages practising,” he told her as they drew nearer to the theatre's double doors. “You’ll all be fine, okay?”

She abruptly stopped walking then, taking a moment to shake out her shoulders.

“You’re right,” she breathed out, that same determination suddenly present on her face again. “We’ve got this.”

She dropped Cyrus’ hand and pushed through the wooden doors, walking into what seemed to be total blackness.

Cyrus’ stomach turned as he slowly stepped in after her, glancing about frantically as he waited for his eyes to adjust. From what he could make out, there were numerous red seats positioned in front of a large stage at the front of the theatre, half shielded from view by a large red curtain. He very nearly tripped down a small stair as they made their way towards the stage, Buffy looking much more reassured. Cyrus remained close to her, glancing nervously around him.

A table was sat in front of the first row of seats, with 4 sleek black chairs positioned behind it. Cyrus could only assume that’s where the judges would be sitting. It wasn’t the largest theatre he had ever been in, but it certainly wasn’t the smallest either - it was big enough to make the thought of performing there absolutely terrifying to him.

“Come on, let's go backstage,” Buffy murmured, grabbing onto his hand again and guiding him through the darkness of the theatre. They made their way to their way to a small doorway right by the central stage, pushing past it and stepping into a well-lit room.

“Natalie,” Buffy breathed out, dropping Cyrus’ hand in an instant and rushing up to her.

He watched with a smile as the girl pulled her into a tight hug.

“Hey Buffy,” Natalie laughed. “Ready to get out there and smash it?”

“You have no idea.” 

Cyrus found himself hovering awkwardly in the background, torn between stepping forward and greeting some of the other team members or just attempting to go unnoticed.

They all began talking amongst themselves about the routine, and Cyrus knew he probably shouldn’t try to insert himself into the conversation.

“I’ll be right back,” he told Buffy, who gave him a smile and a quick nod.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and headed towards the door, opening it and stepping hesitantly into the central backstage area. His view of the theatre was blocked by the large curtains, which looked particularly intimidating now that he was back in a dimly-lit space. There were a few people here and there, setting up various aspects of the performances. One of them was bent over an amplifier, fiddling with a few of its settings, while another seemed to be adjusting some lights.

“Boo,” came a voice so sudden that he barely managed to refrain from yelping. He knew almost instantly who it was.

“TJ!” he whisper-yelled, whirling around to give the boy an accusing look.

TJ just grinned. “You’re cute when you’re scared.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, giving the boy a playful smack on the arm. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“A performance. Didn’t you hear?”

“You’re funny,” Cyrus told him, a fond smile threatening to appear on his lips. “But I meant _here_ \- right now.”

TJ shrugged. “Just wandering around. What are you doing here?”

“...Just wandering around.”

“Well...maybe we could ‘just wander’ together, then. Preferably over to that room there so your friend doesn’t see us.”

TJ nodded his head in the direction of another small room on the opposite side of the stage.

“Is that where your team is?” Cyrus asked him.

“Yeah, but they’re all down with the judges right now. We could go into the change rooms if you wanted? In case they come back.”

For some reason, Cyrus felt his face warm slightly at that, and he found himself feeling very grateful for the minimal lighting.

“I don’t mind...” he trailed off. 

TJ raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything further, opting instead to wrap an arm around Cyrus’ shoulders and guide him towards the room.

“Did you sleep alright last night?” TJ asked as he reached out for the door handle.

Cyrus couldn’t help but smile. “You’re concerned about my sleep now?”

“Yeah. Is that so wrong?” the boy responded playfully, his hand lingering slightly on Cyrus’ shoulder as they stepped inside, closing the door gently behind him.

“I guess not,” Cyrus shrugged as he looked around at the room. It was very similar to the one Buffy’s team currently occupied, with two black couches sat next to each other against the wall, and a small table placed in front of it.

“So - did you?”

“I got 8 hours,” Cyrus told him, collapsing down onto one of the couches. TJ sat down next to him, throwing a casual arm over the pillow behind Cyrus. Subconsciously, he shifted further into TJ’s space.

“Wow. That’s actually good!”

“Did I pass the test?” Cyrus teased.

“With flying colours,” TJ smiled.

Cyrus could feel TJ’s eyes on him then, and he hesitantly turned to the boy. Although his cheeks were tinged red, he tried his best to seem somewhat confident. 

“Can I help you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Nope,” TJ shrugged. “Just admiring.”

Cyrus laughed slightly. “You’re smooth, you know that?”

“I do try,” came the teasing response.

At that moment, the door was thrown open with a bang, and Cyrus found himself jolting slightly, grabbing onto TJ’s hand.

“TJ, I think I just got outed and I...oh.”

A boy with brown hair was stood there, his face pale. He seemed completely frozen with shock, and Cyrus felt a sudden wave of guilt crash over him.

“Oh my _god_ , I’m so so sorry, I’ll leave right now,” he said, standing up from the couch in an instant.

“It’s okay,” the boy sighed, running a stressed hand through his hair. “I don’t wanna intrude or anything-“

“Who did it?”

They both looked to TJ, who had stood up from the couch. Cyrus didn’t think he had ever seen him look so mad.

Silence.

Then-

“...Liam.”

TJ walked up to the boy, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“TJ,” Cyrus began hesitantly. “Where are you going?”

He bit his lip. “I’ll be right back,” he ended up repeating, pulling the door open and stepping out.

Silence fell again. Cyrus looked down at the ground, unsure of what to say.

“So...you’re Cyrus, right?”

 _That_ had him looking up again in alarm.

“How’d you know?”

The boy gave him a small smile. “TJ talks about you,” he explained.

“Oh."

He hesitated for a moment, biting his lip anxiously. “I’m sorry,” he blurted.

“It’s okay,” came the soft response. “It wasn’t your fault...I’m Marty, by the way.”

“I’m Cyrus. I mean - you know that already, but...yeah.”

Marty smiled, moving over to the couch and sitting where TJ previously sat. He seemed rigid, with his back straight, fiddling nervously with the hem of his hoodie. Cyrus hesitantly walked over too, sitting down a sensible distance away.

“So...you and TJ, huh?”

Cyrus felt his face warm at the words. “Yeah! We’re uh...hanging out,” he responded.

“That’s it?” Marty asked, lifting an eyebrow in question.

Cyrus rolled his eyes at that, but he was unable to contain a soft smile. “He’s sweet,” he said with a shrug, trying hard to ignore the obvious implications.

“He is! And he’s really good at dancing too - the best on our team by far. He can also cook pretty well-“

“Are you selling him to me right now?” Cyrus laughed.

“Maybe,” he shrugged, a playful smile on his lips.

Silence fell for a moment after that. The smile on Marty’s face slipped all of a sudden, and Cyrus found himself shuffling over slightly with a frown. He hated seeing people upset, so his automatic response was always to comfort. He didn’t know exactly what had happened, in fact - he didn’t really know Marty at all, but it looked like he was in dire need of it.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently.

The boy took a deep breath in, shifting his gaze back down to his lap.

Neither of them said anything for a moment. They could hear the faint sounds of people moving around backstage, preparing for the performances. A glance down at his watch confirmed that there was about 35 minutes until the routines were due to start.

“I’m trans,” Marty mumbled, so quietly that Cyrus almost didn’t catch it.

“Marty...” he trailed off and shook his head, shuffling over even further and placing a hand on his arm.

Cyrus was used to comforting people; he had always been considered somewhat of a therapist friend after all, but for some reason, he felt out his depth. He had no idea what to tell someone who had just been outed as trans.

“Liam shouldn’t have done that,” he said firmly. “And you shouldn’t have to go through it. I’m sorry.”

Marty gave him a watery smile. “Thanks,” he responded, his voice small.

Cyrus hesitated again for a moment, before adding “if you ever wanna talk, I can give you my number?”

“That’d be cool actually,”  Marty nodded, pulling his phone from his pocket and handing it over.

The door was pushed open as just as Cyrus had finished typing his number in. TJ stepped inside, looking even more furious than he had before.

“I couldn’t get him alone - he was surrounded by those other Salt Lake kids.”

Cyrus bit his lip slightly and handed Marty his phone, moving towards the door and stopping right by TJ. There was no doubt that his protectiveness was sweet, but something told him that there were more pressing concerns at that moment.

“I get that you want revenge and all, but I think Marty needs a friend right now. Don’t you?”

TJ’s face immediately softened. “You’re right,” he mumbled back. “See you out there?”

“I’ll see you out there,” he confirmed.

He opened the door, shooting Marty one last smile. “It was nice meeting you,” he said.

“It was nice meeting you too,” the boy smiled back.

Cyrus stepped out and closed the door behind him with a gentle thud. He made his way over to the room Buffy was in from there, his mind reeling with thoughts about what had just happened.

“Where you have _been_?” Buffy demanded as soon as he stepped inside.

Cyrus hesitated. “Just checking out the area,” he responded.

The girl gave him a disbelieving look at that, but she didn’t press further.

 

~

 

The darkened theatre was filling up with students from both schools as show time drew closer. Any form of competition between Jefferson High and Salt Lake Academy was bound to draw in spectators, despite it being a relatively small event.

The murmurs and whispers around him picked up the moment a spotlight appeared on stage, and a man who Cyrus could only assume was a Jefferson High teacher walked out with a microphone, stepping in front of the curtains.

Cyrus honestly _wanted_ to concentrate on his voice as he announced the teams and the songs they’d be dancing to, but once again he found himself distracted.

He had an investment in both teams now; particularly since growing closer to TJ. His mind kept reminding him of Marty; what he must be going through at that moment, how hard it’ll likely be for him to concentrate on dancing after what had occurred, and for a brief moment he found himself hoping that TJ’s team would win.

He was snapped out his thoughts by loud clapping from the people around him, and he hastily looked up to see what the fuss was about.

 

_Oh._

 

The man wasn’t there anymore, and the large red curtains were slowly parting to reveal the stage. It was painted black, much like the front half, and the spotlight had moved slightly to linger around the centre, where Buffy and her team were currently stood.

Automatically, he found himself cheering along with some of the Salt Lake students around him. He was in the very front row of seats, which gave him a full view of the stage.

The beat started up then, and Cyrus couldn’t help but smile. He had heard this song a _ridiculous_ amount of times over the past few weeks, with Buffy’s constant practise.

He knew from the instant they started moving that their routine would be good - he wasn’t surprised at all, this _was_ Buffy after all, but he still felt a sense of relief as he watched the team perform. Their movements were quick; relaxed, but precise. They were almost perfectly in sync, with Buffy in front and 2 teammates on either side of her. She had makeup on, with pink lip gloss and glittery pink eyeshadow.

 

_So put your arms around me tonight_

_Let the music lift you up_

_Like you’ve never been so high_

 

Although Buffy’s eyes were mostly focused on the very back of the theatre, she shot Cyrus a subtle smile as the chorus rang out. He grinned and flashed a quick thumbs-up.

 

_Ain’t no crying in the club_

_Let the beat carry away, your tears as they fall_ _,_ _baby_

_Ain’t no crying in the club_

_With a little faith, your tears turn to ecstasy._

 

The routine reflected all of the emotions the song conveyed, and Cyrus could honestly say he was floored despite having seen it countless times before. The darkness around him only added to the atmosphere, making the lyrics seem all the more meaningful. It was fast-paced, but Buffy and teammates managed to stay in sync for the whole song.

When it was finished, cheers erupted from the Salt Lake Academy students, filling the theatre as Buffy and her teammates held their final positions, breathing heavily.

Cyrus felt a rush of admiration for his friend as their eyes met, a bright smile forming on his lips as he nodded vehemently. She knew they had done well if the glowing look on her face was anything to go by.

The announcer stepped out as the curtains drew together again, concealing half of the stage.

“...Coming up, we have the Jefferson High dance team, performing their original choreography to ‘Sicko Mode’ by Travis Scott.”

Cyrus heard some of the people around him laugh, and he couldn’t help but smile along. He hadn’t even _thought_ to ask TJ what song they’d be dancing to.

His smile faded slightly as the man stepped off stage, and the spotlight returned to its previous position.

He _really_ hoped Marty was okay to perform, which was slightly strange considering he had only just met the boy, but he felt an odd sense of protectiveness over him.

Butterflies started up in his stomach, fluttering around as the curtains began to part. TJ was in front this time, with two teammates on either side of him. A few people laughed again as the song began, but Cyrus really wasn’t focused on that now.

 

_Sun is down, freezin' cold_

_That's how we already know winter's here_

 

Their movements were much slower than Buffy’s team had been, but they were equally as precise. They alternated between speeding up and slowing down, fitting with the pace of the song.

Cyrus’ stomach flipped when he realised that TJ was wearing make-up; it wasn’t subtle in the slightest, with deep purple lipstick and glittery purple eyeshadow. Once again, he found himself totally swept away by TJ’s dancing, in a way that was quite frankly _embarrassing_.

 

_Woo, made this here with all the ice on in the booth_

_At the gate outside, when they pull up, they get me loose_

 

They all remained in sync, completely on par with Buffy’s team in every way he could think of. Marty looked composed next to TJ, his movements just as precise as his teammates, and Cyrus let out a small sigh of relief.

He cheered along with the Jefferson High students when they had finished, which earnt him a strange look or two, but he really couldn’t find it within himself to care.

TJ’s gaze finally met his own, and he felt the air seep out of his lungs. He was fired up; his eyes sparkling and his smile bright. He was _glowing_ , and Cyrus was in total awe. TJ smirked at him, and his heart skipped a beat.

They maintained eye contact until the curtains were fully closed, Cyrus’ cheeks a deep shade of red.

The judges were sat in front of them, talking amongst themselves, and quiet chatter started up amongst the audience too.

Cyrus opted to pull out his phone and text his friends.

 

 **Cyrus:** heyy!

 **TJ:** double ‘y’ huh? u must be happy!

 **Cyrus:** i am! you guys were awesome!

 **TJ:** awww

 **TJ:** thanks, cy <3

 **Cyrus:** np!! how’s marty doing?

 **TJ:** better i think :)

 **TJ:** we talked before the performance

 **TJ:** still gonna beat up Liam tho

 **Cyrus:** with words, i hope? :)

 **TJ:** ...

 **Cyrus:** TEEJAY

 **TJ:** okay, okay, fine

 **Cyrus:** good!

 

He shook his head slightly, a fond smile on his lips he switched to Buffy’s name in his contacts.

 

 **Cyrus:** YOU GUYS WERE AMAZING!!! YOU’RE AN ABSOLUTE QUEEN!!!

 **Buffy:** THANK YOUUU

 **Buffy:** Did we look like we were in sync??

 **Cyrus:** Yup!!

 **Buffy:** Yayy

 **Cyrus:** <33

 **Buffy:** <33

 

When it was announced that the judges had tallied up all of their scores, both teams were called onto the stage again.

Cyrus’ eyes found TJ, who already seemed to be looking at him. He blushed slightly, giving the boy a small wave. TJ glanced over at Buffy, who was whispering something to Natalie, before returning the wave with a smile. He was _still_ wearing that purple lipstick, and Cyrus could honestly say he had never been so distracted in his life.

He tuned in back into the announcer’s voice eventually, blinking out of his slight daze.

“...Both teams were scored across 4 categories, with a total of forty possible points for each.”

Cyrus found himself looking to TJ again, who must’ve felt his gaze because suddenly their eyes were meeting. Buffy glanced over at that moment, and Cyrus’ stomach dropped at the suspicious look on her face.

“Our winning team for today was...”

Both of their gazes snapped over to the announcer again-

“Salt Lake Academy! With a total of 36 points.” 

Cyrus couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed, but he hastily tried to brush the feeling off.

His best friend won! That was really the only thing that should’ve mattered at that moment.

He looked to TJ again, who gave him one of those bright smiles despite the loss. 

_So why wasn’t it?_

 

_~_

 

Cyrus knew almost instantly what was happening when he felt panic set in.

The teams were backstage, and Buffy had asked him about TJ. He had tried to lie his way out of the situation, but it really wasn’t any use; they both knew he was a horrible liar. He eventually fell silent, unsure of what to say, and that had told Buffy everything she needed to know.

That’s how he ended up where he did; trying to break up a very one-sided argument between TJ and Buffy. Marty was right by TJ’s side, looking uncertain, while Natalie was by Buffy’s side, looking equally uncertain.

“You were _obviously_ trying to find out about our routine, and you saw Cyrus as someone you could use to do that!”

Cyrus looked down at the ground, trying to ignore the panic he could feel rising in his throat. The room felt ridiculously small at that moment, and the walls only seemed to be closing in the more he panicked.

When Buffy came to conclusions about people, she was absolutely set in them. It took very little for her to make them, but it took a lot for her to change them once she had.

“You _really_ think I’d use someone like Cyrus?!” 

Cyrus thought back to all the times they had hung out, to all of the smiles TJ had given him, to the comfort he had provided during their late-night phone calls.

_Did Buffy really think TJ would only become friends with him to manipulate him?_

The room seemed to be growing hotter by the second, and his chest began to feel tight. He could barely breathe, and his forehead was becoming damp with a layer of sweat.

 

_No. Not now. No. Not now. No. Not now._

 

His breaths were quickening, but despite this it still felt as though there was no air reaching his lungs. He hadn’t even realised it until then, but his hands were shaking.

Everything felt overwhelming in the worst way possible - the heat, the shouting, the small, stuffy space. He _needed_ to get out.

 

_You’re okay, don’t panic. You’re okay, don’t panic. You’re okay, don’t panic._

 

TJ and Buffy were so caught up that they didn’t notice any sort of change in Cyrus’ behaviour. Marty was the first one to casually glance over at him, only to double-take immediately. 

“Cyrus?”

When Cyrus tried and failed to take another deep breath, Marty rushed over to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Cyrus - listen to me, okay? You’re gonna be fine. Keep breathing.”

TJ immediately whirled around, concern written all over his face. Buffy stepped forward, her lips parted slightly in shock.

“You guys can stay here and keep up the pointless arguing,” Marty said, his tone sarcastic. “I’ll take Cyrus outside in the meantime.”

Cyrus was so focused on breathing that he barely registered anything around him as Marty guided him out of the theatre, a hand on his back.

“You’re doing great Cyrus,” he assured as he pushed the door to the corridors open, stepping out and letting it close behind them with a thud.

They took the first exit they saw, stepping out into the evening air and finding a nearby bench to sit down on. The sun was beginning to set now, painting the sky a light orange. An even cooler breeze than before had set it, but somehow Cyrus still felt as though he was overheating.

Marty had an arm on Cyrus’ back, rubbing soothing circles as the boy tried desperately to get his breathing in check again.

It took a few minutes, but eventually, he was able to calm himself down slightly, focusing on the environment _around_ him rather than what was likely occurring _inside_ the building.

“You okay?” Marty asked him.

He gave a weak nod, still shaking slightly as he reached up to wipe some of the sweat from his face. Embarrassment began to set in as some of his panic subsided; he couldn’t believe he had freaked out over an argument he wasn’t even _apart_ of.

“Those suck,” he managed to breath.

“They do,” Marty agreed. “My sister gets them too.”

Cyrus nodded sympathetically, taking a deep breath in.

“Thanks,” he said, finding himself unable to say much more. Marty was exactly what he needed in that moment, and he couldn’t be more grateful.

“It’s no problem.”

They fell silent for a moment, listening to the nearby hum of crickets as they looked up to the sky.

“Just for the record, TJ _isn’t_ using you. Trust me - he gushes about how amazing you are literally all the time. It’s exhausting.”

Cyrus smiled. “Thank you - I’m _definitely_ going to make fun of him now.”

“Please do! He needs to be taken down a notch.”

“He does,” Cyrus agreed with a laugh.

They fell into comfortable silence after that, gazing back out at the sky again. Marty gave him a small smile when his phone began blowing up with notifications. 

“TJ, I’m guessing?”

Cyrus glanced down at his phone. “Yup,” he confirmed after a moment.

“We should probably head back in before he thinks we’ve died,” Marty joked, standing up from the bench.

Cyrus returned the smile and stood up. “Yeah. We probably should.”

 


	5. The corridor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TJ and Cyrus go on a venture to retrieve TJ's history book from his locker. TJ learns more about Cyrus' panic attacks. Cyrus discovers something about Andi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Micah (@bezlque on tumblr) and Innayah (@tjskipping on tumblr) because they're both amazing!!
> 
> Also dedicated to anyone reading this <3

The moment Cyrus and Marty had entered the room again, TJ swooped in and started fussing over Cyrus, checking and re-checking if he was okay. The boy had brushed him off, smiling slightly, and although TJ seemed reluctant he had nodded and backed off.

They helped a few of the teachers pack up all of the equipment used backstage, Buffy looking conflicted the whole time as though she wasn’t entirely sure what to say. She asked him if he was okay, biting her lip when all Cyrus did was smile and nod. Marty was right by his side the whole time, talking to him about whatever crossed his mind in attempt to distract him. 

Eventually, when the sky outside had faded from a colourful gradient to pitch black, the teachers thanked them for their help and they all walked out of the building together, Marty and Cyrus talking animatedly while TJ and Buffy hovered awkwardly by both of their sides. 

They were by the school gates when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he turned around to face TJ.  

“I kinda forgot something in my locker. Wanna come with me to go get it?” 

Cyrus raised an amused eyebrow. He couldn’t help but think TJ was using that as an excuse to get him alone, but he nodded his head in agreement anyway. 

“Great! We’ll be right back guys,” he said, rolling his eyes slightly at the smirk on Marty’s face.

That’s how they ended up where they did, with Cyrus walking slightly ahead of TJ as they crossed the basketball courts. The wind was picking up now, whipping their hair and clothes about as they headed towards the building.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve helped sooner and I should’ve asked you about it after that basketball game because I knew that’s what it was but I didn’t want to pry and-”

“ _TJ_ ,” Cyrus interrupted, whirling around to face the boy. Even  _he_  almost winced at how harsh the word sounded, but TJ had been rambling for the past 2 _minutes_  and Cyrus was well past the point of exasperation.

“Listen to me, okay? I’m  _not_  mad - youreally don’t have to keep apologising.” 

TJ drew back slightly, his expression shocked, and Cyrus thought for a hopeful moment that he had finally gotten through to him. 

“Wait a minute...” TJ trailed off, his eyebrows furrowed with worry. “Is this our first fight?” 

Cyrus snorted, which earnt him an accusatory glare. 

“We’re not fighting TJ,” he responded, trying hard to keep the laughter out of his tone. “Now let’s get to your locker before this wind decides to get any colder.” 

The taller boy just folded his arms stubbornly, remaining rooted to the spot. “If we’re not fighting, then  _why_  are you trying to walk ahead of me?”

“Maybe I’m just a faster walker than you.” 

TJ raised an eyebrow. “You really wanna go there?” he asked.

“No,” Cyrus admitted, smiling slightly. He hesitated for a moment, before turning back around again. It was getting late now and it had been a ridiculously long day - he wanted nothing more than to get home, curl up with some tea and read a book. Or scroll through twitter. Either would work just fine.

“Let’s just go, okay?” he said, but a gentle hand wrapped around his arm, preventing him from going anywhere.

“TJ,” he warned, not unkindly. “What are you doing?” 

“Cy,” the boy mimicked, except his expression was soft now. “There’s obviously something bothering you.” 

Cyrus bit his lip, unable to deny the fact, so he continued to look stubbornly in the other direction. There  _was_  in fact something on his mind - something he hadn’t stopped thinking about since TJ’s fight with Buffy.

“ _Cy,_ ” TJ tried again, gently spinning him around and taking both of the boy’s hands. “You can talk to me. You know that right?” 

Cyrus was looking at the space beyond TJ’s shoulder rather than TJ himself, and the athlete seemed to notice this because he tilted his head slightly to the side, looking concerned. 

“Are you okay?”

He inhaled deeply, tightening his grip on TJ’s hands. They were warm despite the cold night air miraculously enough, and somehow the feeling managed to relax himself slightly.

“Do you think I’m easy to manipulate?” he asked quietly, his eyes downcast.

TJ froze for a moment, clearly taken aback, but it was only a matter of seconds before he was stepping forward with a kind smile.

“Is this about what Buffy was saying?” he asked knowingly.

Cyrus averted his gaze again, which seemed to tell TJ what he needed to know. 

“Cy - I’m sure she would’ve done the same for her other friends. I think that’s just the type of person she is.” 

Cyrus sighed heavily. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”  

He paused for a moment, clearly thinking it over in his head. “Just for the record - I wouldn’t let anyone use me,” he said.

The words brought a fond smile to TJ’s lips. “I know.”

“And if I thought that  _you_  were using me I definitely would’ve yelled at you.”

TJ stepped closer again, intertwining their fingers with an even wider smile. Cyrus’ heart skipped a beat. 

“I know,” he repeated.

“I just hate people thinking I’m this helpless person just because I’m nice,” Cyrus continued, finally lifting his gaze to meet TJ’s. “I can fend for myself.” 

“You can,” TJ agreed.

“And sure - sometimes I have a hard time saying ‘no’ to people, but that doesn’t mean I can’t see right through them!” 

TJ smiled again and dropped Cyrus’ hands, only to hold his arms out instead. 

“Hug?” 

Cyrus couldn’t help but return the smile as he walked straight into TJ’s arms, burying his face in the fabric of his hoodie. It smelt like a strangely wonderful combination of fabric softener and TJ’s cologne, which really  _shouldn’t_  have been a scent that comforted Cyrus as much as it did.

That’s how they remained for a few long moments, with the freezing wind whipping their hair about, surrounded only by darkness. TJ was warm though, and that fact had Cyrus snuggling even further into him. He felt TJ’s chin resting gently on his head, and his heart fluttered.

“TJ?”

His voice was slightly muffled but the boy seemed to hear him because he lifted his head momentarily.

“Yeah?”

“...Thanks.” 

Cyrus couldn’t see TJ’s face, but he could only assume that the boy was smiling. He shifted slightly, clasping his hands together behind Cyrus’ back.

“No problem,” he responded softly.

A few more moments passed before they separated again, TJ’s hair wind-swept in the most heart-melting way possible. He  _obviously_  didn’t need to know that Cyrus thought this though.

“Your hair is messy,” he teased as they began to make their way again.

“Your hair is messier,” TJ countered, giving his shoulder a playful shove.

“There’s a difference though -  _I_  can pull it off.” 

“Hey!” 

Cyrus just gave him a smug smile.

They crossed the last basketball court in relative silence, glancing up at the stars that were beginning to dot the night sky. The wind was still ruffling their clothes and hair, and occasionally their laughter would break the silence around them as they struggled against it.

“So...do you think Buffy’s sent out a search party for us, yet?” TJ asked, holding the corridor door open for Cyrus. 

The boy gave him a little shove, unable to keep from smiling. “Stop it.” 

“Stop what?” TJ laughed, letting the door close behind them with a soft thud. 

Cyrus felt nervous butterflies in his stomach as he scanned the darkened corridor. 

“School is scary at night,” he declared, subconsciously moving closer to TJ.

“It is,” he agreed. “And that flickering light down there really isn’t helping matters.” 

Cyrus took a deep breath. There were no signs of anyone there, and he could barely make out anything amongst the pitch black. There  _was_  in fact a flickering light at the very end of the corridor, that flooded that area with a warm glow in short bursts. The silence was deafening, and the whole situation reminded him of a horror movie in the worst way possible.

“...Do you really need your History book?” 

TJ laughed, and the sound echoed slightly as he wrapped an arm around Cyrus’ shoulders.

“Come on, we’ll be fine.” 

Cyrus shook his head, reluctantly allowing himself to be tugged forward into the darkness. “TJ Kippen if we die, I’m blaming  _you_  and only you.” 

“It’s a good thing we won’t die then!” 

He took another deep breath, melting into TJ’s touch slightly as they walked. He’d never admit it aloud to anyone, but having the boy’s arm wrapped around him  _did_  make him feel somewhat safe in that moment.

The possibility of death was still very much on his mind though as rain began to splatter against the windows, accompanied by obnoxiously loud wind.

“It was so  _sunny_  before,” he complained. “Why is raining now?” 

“Because mother nature wanted to make this corridor even scarier for you,” TJ teased, smiling wide at Cyrus’ annoyed huff.

“Where  _is_  your locker, exactly?” 

“Right by that flickering light.” 

“... _Please_  tell me you’re joking.” 

At TJ’s silence, Cyrus let out a dramatic groan.

“ _TJ!”_

“Hey - it’s not my fault!” 

“Whatever,” he sighed, leaning further into the boy as they continued to walk, their footsteps echoing ever so slightly. 

The wind was still howling outside, accompanied by a sudden clap of booming thunder. Pale moonlight flooded the corridors for a brief moment, only for the moon to be blocked again by angry grey storm clouds.

“How good are your fighting skills?” he inquired casually.

TJ snorted. “I’m sure I won’t have to fight anyone.” 

“But if you did?”

“Then I’d win,” he answered smugly, bringing a fond smile to Cyrus’ lips.

“Okay. I believe you.” 

They were approaching the flickering light now, and Cyrus was almost tempted to just stop walking and turn back around in the name of self-preservation. He’d seen enough horror movies to know that flickering lights were  _never_  a good sign.

“My locker’s right here,” said TJ, dropping his arm from Cyrus’ shoulder. 

He approached a locker and began unlocking it, shooting Cyrus an amused glance as the boy looked around wearily.

“This is the exact time something always happens,” he began to ramble, slowly turning around on the spot. “The confident one thinks the scared one is being ridiculous, and then while the confident one isn’t looking the scared one gets brutally murdered!”

“Cyrus, I really hate to break it to you, but we’re not in a-“ 

He was interrupted by a loud bang, which had both of them whirling towards the source of the noise in alarm. One of the corridor doors right by them had opened, and a dark figure stepped inside, holding what looked to be a flash light.

Cyrus froze up immediately, while TJ grabbed his book and moved forward, standing in front of the boy.

“TJ?” the figure called, and the athlete’s shoulders visibly relaxed.

“Mrs.A!” 

Cyrus’ eyebrows furrowed in confusion as TJ lowered his book and walked forward.

“Locking up now?” 

“Yeah,” she responded, stepping into the flickering light’s glow. She was smiling slightly now, glancing up at the light. 

“They really need to fix that.” 

“They do,” TJ agreed with a laugh. 

The woman smiled, glancing curiously between the pair. She looked fairly young to be a teacher, with blonde hair and kind brown eyes. Cyrus couldn’t help but smile back.

“So what are you two doing here so late?” she asked.

“My team had their first dance competition,” TJ explained. “I was just dropping by to pick up some books.” 

“Oh that’s right - the dance competition! How’d you guys go?”

TJ winced slightly and didn’t respond, which seemed to tell her what she needed to know.

“Next time,” she smiled.

“Hopefully.” 

They both fell silent for a moment, then TJ was holding up his book with a smile. “I’m gonna finish that history essay tonight, though!” 

“ _Finish?_ TJ - that essay is due in two weeks,” she laughed, looking genuinely amazed.

“It was interesting,” he shrugged, shooting Cyrus a pointed look when the boy began to giggle slightly.

“You’re a star, TJ. I have to go now and lock up now or Madison will start worrying, but I look forward to reading it next week! I’ll lock that door last so you guys can get out.”

TJ smiled and nodded. “I’ll see you on Monday, Mrs.A.” 

As she walked away, Cyrus gave the boy a playful nudge. “Two  _weeks_? I can’t believe how much of a history nerd you are.” 

“Hey!” TJ exclaimed, narrowing his eyes. “I am  _not_  a nerd!”

Cyrus just smiled and raised his eyebrows, watching as TJ huffed and walked back over to his locker to shut it.

“Who’s Madison by the way?” he asked as TJ walked back over, history book in hand.

“Oh - Madison’s her wife,” he explained casually, wrapping an arm around Cyrus’ shoulders as they began to walk.

TJ must’ve noticed the way his shoulders immediately tensed, because he looked over at him with a small frown.

“What is it?” 

“Nothing!” Cyrus said quickly. “But...that means you’re okay with...you know...”

“Yeah...” TJ trailed off, his eyebrows furrowed as he dropped his arm from Cyrus’ shoulders. “Aren’t you?” 

“Of course I am! I was just wondering,” Cyrus explained hurriedly, cursing himself internally.

The boy nodded, still seeming slightly hesitant. Cyrus bit his lip and averted his gaze, feeling the loss of TJ’s arm around him a lot more than he probably should’ve. They made their way through the darkened corridor in silence, and this time Cyrus found himself acutely aware of the lack of noise. Eventually, when he couldn’t stand the tension between them anymore, he stopped walking with a heavy sigh and gently grabbed TJ’s hand to prevent him from moving forward. 

“TJ - I really am,” he said softly.

The boy just nodded again, still refusing to look Cyrus in the eye. The sight made his heart ache - TJ looked like a sad  _puppy_  when he was upset, and Cyrus wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in a hug. He knew he couldn’t though - not now.

“TJ...” 

He let go of the boy’s arm, holding out a hand to him instead. TJ looked between Cyrus and his outstretched hand for a few long moments, and he shorter boy could feel his heart racing away his chest. His stomach dropped after a few seconds, and he lowered his hand again with a sigh.

“I’m sorry.” 

TJ just shook his head, a slow smile spreading across his face. He almost let out an audible sigh of relief at the sight.

“Don’t be,” he said softly, taking Cyrus’ hand. 

Cyrus grinned and swung their hands slightly as they began to walk again, feeling his face warm slightly despite the cold.

TJ didn’t drop his hand as they exited the corridor and crossed the basketball courts, rapidly becoming soaked by the rain. The amount of nervous butterflies that were fluttering around his stomach as they talked and laughed was  _ridiculous_. 

When they eventually approached the bench where Buffy and Marty were sat, TJ dropped his hand and looked over at him with a kind smile. 

“Ready?” he asked.

Cyrus took a deep breath and nodded. “Ready,” he confirmed.

 

~ 

 

The car journey home was painfully awkward.

Buffy and Cyrus exchanged the occasional glance, but beyond that, they barely said anything to one another. Even Cyrus’ dad seemed to pick up on the tension, because he turned the radio up slightly in attempt to fill the silence. 

“So, Buffy - how’d you guys go?” he asked.

“Good! We won, actually.” 

“That’s great - good job!” 

“Thanks!” she smiled.

Silence fell again after that. Cyrus anxiously bounced his leg, pulling out his phone and messaging the first person that came to mind. 

 

 **Cyrus:** TJ HELP 

 **TJ:** oh god 

 **TJ:** what’s happening 

 **Cyrus:** AWKWARD SILENCE W BUFFY ALERT 

 **TJ:** oof 

 **TJ:** that sucks 

 **Cyrus:** you’re telling me 

 **Cyrus:** i’ve never felt so uncomfortable in my life

 **TJ:** have u tried...ya know...talking to her? 

 **Cyrus:** wow thanks tj - that idea totally hadn’t crossed my mind already! 

 **TJ:** sorryyyyy 

 **TJ:**  but i really think u should 

 **TJ:**  she cares about u a lot, u know? 

 **Cyrus:**  yeah...i know 

 **Cyrus:** urgh fine i’ll talk to her when we get to her place 

 **TJ:** good! i believe in u! 

 **Cyrus:**  <3 

 **TJ:** <3 

 

Cyrus put his phone down with a sigh, reverting back to staring out of the window. His heart was racing when they pulled up to Buffy’s driveway, and he immediately opened the car door to get out. 

Buffy climbed out on the other side, and they both looked at one another for a few long moments. 

“I’m sorry,” she said suddenly, walking around the car to stand in front of him. “I should’ve seen the signs, but I was so caught up that I just...didn’t.” 

“It’s okay,” he smiled.

She just shook her head. “I shouldn’t have said that TJ is using you - he’s not.” 

 _That_  took Cyrus by surprise. Buffy was rarely one to go back on her word, and the fact that it was this thing in particular was even  _more_  shocking.

“Oh?” 

“Yeah,” she sighed, averting her gaze to the ground. “Cyrus - I saw how he looked when Marty took you outside. He was really worried. He kept messaging you and asking me if you had a history of panic attacks...he wouldn’t do that if he was using you.” 

A slow smile spread across Cyrus’ face, and it was only a matter of seconds before he was flinging his arms around Buffy and hugging her tightly.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, smiling slightly at the huff that escaped her.

“Don’t expect that from me again anytime soon,” she warned, but Cyrus could tell that she was smiling now too. 

“I wouldn’t dream it,” came the teasing response. 

Buffy pulled away after a moment, shaking her head slightly. 

“I’ll message you tonight, okay?” 

He nodded, unable to keep the bright smile off his lips as he watched the girl turn around and head towards her front door.

The car window rolled down next to him, and Cyrus’ dad craned his neck slightly to look at him. 

“Are we good to go?” he asked.

Cyrus opened the car door and climbed inside. 

“Yeah,” he smiled. “We’re good to go.” 

 

~

 

“Hold still TJ - you’ll mess up my drawing,” Cyrus scolded, shifting slightly on the bed.

TJ just squirmed away, giggling slightly. “Cy! The pen feels weird! Can’t you press a bit harder?” 

Cyrus couldn’t help but smile. He had always known that TJ was cute, but for some reason that fact was hitting him harder than it normally did. 

“Okay, I’ll press harder, now get over here!” 

TJ reluctantly shifted back over to the boy, holding out his arm. It was late afternoon, and there was glittering sunlight streaming through TJ’s parted curtains. The storm from last night had eased up, leaving behind a clear blue sky. Everything felt hazier at this time of day - right when the sun was about to set - and the duo were lounging on TJ’s bed talking about whatever came to their heads. 

Cyrus was currently attempting to draw on TJ’s arm, but it was proving to be a difficult task because he  _couldn’t_  stop squirming for the life of him. It was far too endearing for Cyrus’ heart to handle.

“Where’d you get this from?” he asked, skating his fingers gently over a purple looking bruise on TJ’s forearm.

“I fell over at dance practise today,” the boy explained, smiling slightly at the frown on Cyrus’ face.

“I’m turning it into a flower for you,” he declared, fishing around for a blue pen in his pencil case. He pulled one out with a soft ‘aha’ and gently grabbed TJ’s arm again.

TJ watched for a moment as Cyrus began drawing petals, his smile fond.

“So...about those panic attacks...”

Cyrus looked up at the boy in alarm, his pen still hovering over TJ’s skin. 

TJ winced slightly. “I mean - only if you’re comfortable with-“

“It’s fine,” Cyrus assured him with a sigh, returning back to his drawing, “ask away.” 

“Okay,” TJ nodded, his eyes darting between Cyrus and the drawing on his arm. “So...how long have you been having them?” 

“Since seventh grade. That one was my first one in a few months...I think that’s why Buffy was so surprised.” 

TJ nodded again, turning the information over in his head. “And...if you get one again...what should I do to help?” 

Cyrus paused his drawing for a moment to look up at the boy, smiling slightly. 

“Well...being in an outdoor space helps for me, but if that’s not possible then reminding me that it’s temporary would also help. I mean - I know it’s temporary, but in the moment...”

“I get it,” TJ assured him.

They both fell silence for a minute or two after that, TJ’s gaze settling on Cyrus’ face as he continued to add petals to the flower.

“TJ - I can feel your eyes on me,” he laughed, looking up at the boy again.

“Well what else am I supposed to look at!” he defended.

Cyrus just rolled his eyes and returned to colouring. “I’m almost done.” 

His eyebrows were furrowed slightly as he drew, carefully shading in the petals. TJ began to squirm slightly again as he shaded the lighter parts, the pen grazing slightly over his skin. 

“Cy,” he warned.

The boy bit his lip to contain a grin. “I was doing that on purpose.” 

“You’re evil!” he gasped, unable to keep from smiling.

Cyrus lifted his head again with a small smile, looking down at TJ’s arm to admire his work. 

“Beautiful,” said TJ, taking the pen out of Cyrus’ hand, “can I draw something on  _your_  arm now?” 

Cyrus backed away from the boy at that, his eyes narrowed sceptically. “I don’t trust you.” 

“Oh come on,” TJ complained. “It’s only fair!”

“... _Fine_ ,” Cyrus relented after a moment.

TJ grinned and moved across the bed, gently grabbing Cyrus’ arm and resting it on his leg. The sun was setting now, which flooded the room with an orange-looking glow. 

TJ began drawing, purposely dragging the pen across Cyrus’ skin as lightly as he possibly could.

“TJ!” he accused through giggles, pulling his arm away, “you’re doing that on purpose!”

“Yeah! Sound familiar?” he asked, looking up at the boy with a smile.

Cyrus rolled his eyes. “I only did that once!”

TJ just gave him a mischievous smile and took his arm again. Cyrus watched as he began to draw the vague outline of something, except - he wasn’t really looking at the drawing itself. He found himself looking at TJ, taking note of the concentration on his face, the slight red that tinged his cheeks, the smudge of purple eyeshadow left over from last night. His stomach swooped when the boy glanced up at him.

“Cyrus - I can feel your eyes on me,” he mocked, earning himself a playful swat on the shoulder.

TJ was done with his drawing after a few minutes, by which time Cyrus was almost certain he had counted a majority of the freckles on his face. He pulled away and admired his work for a few seconds.

“It’s a cat!” he announced.

Cyrus looked down at his arm. 

“Awww,” he cooed, running his fingers lightly over the drawing, “it’s adorable!”

TJ smiled at that, opening his mouth to respond, but the door was thrown open with a slight bang then and he quickly turned to face it instead.

“TJ - I’m ordering pizza. Want any?” 

“Yes!” Cyrus answered for him, earning himself an amused look.

“What the-“ 

The door was pushed open fully, and a blonde-haired girl was stood there, phone in hand.

“I see you’re not alone in here,” she said, raising a curious eyebrow.

“Oh right - um - Amber, this is my friend Cyrus. Cyrus, this is my sister Amber.” 

Amber folded her arms then, a smug smile forming on her lips. “So  _this_  is the boy you’ve been talking non-stop about?”

TJ gave her a death glare at that, while Cyrus just looked between the pair in confusion.

“Hey Ambs, what’s the hold up?” asked a voice suddenly that sounded  _all_  too familiar. 

Cyrus had to blink a few times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things when Andi appeared at the doorway next to Amber, placing a hand on her shoulder. She froze with shock when she saw Cyrus sitting there, and for a few long moments they just gaped at one another.

Amber and TJ exchanged a slightly bewildered look.

“Andi - what are you  _doing_  here?!” Cyrus demanded, trying his hardest to comprehend the situation.

“I’m hanging out with Amber! What are  _you_  doing here?”

“I’m hanging out with TJ!” 

Cyrus’ eyes darted between Amber and Andi for a moment or two.

“I think my mind is melting,” he groaned, falling dramatically back against the bed.

TJ laughed and patted his knee comfortingly. 

“So - you two know each other?” Amber inquired, her eyes brows furrowed slightly.

“ _Know_  each other? We’ve been best friends since we were eight!” said Cyrus.

Andi shook her head and hesitantly walked towards the bed, sitting down next to the boy.

“So you’re hanging out with TJ?” she asked him.

“And  _you’ve_  known TJ this whole time? Even at the basketball game?”

Her face reddened slightly. “Yeah...” she trailed off guiltily.

“Oh my  _god_.” 

“But Cyrus...there’s a reason I haven’t told you and Buffy.”

“Andi,” Amber piped up from the doorway, looking worried, “are you sure?” 

“Yeah,” she breathed. “I’m sure. Could you guys give us the bedroom for a few minutes?”

TJ, who still looked vaguely confused, nodded immediately and got up, walking over to Amber. They both stepped outside, closing the door gently behind them. The sky was darkening rapidly outside, and a few nearby crickets were chirping loudly, seemingly trying to fill the tense silence that had settled around them.

“Andi...did you wanna tell me something?” he asked softly, shuffling forward to place a comforting hand on her knee.

She took a deep breath and nodded, visibly nervous. “Yeah...”

Cyrus waited patiently as she collected herself.

“Cyrus...Amber and I aren’t just friends,” she said, so quietly that Cyrus almost didn’t catch it.

It took him a moment or two, but when he had processed what Andi was implying his mouth fell open in shock.

“You're-"

“Girlfriends,” she nodded. “I’m pan.” 

Cyrus just shook his head and surged forward, engulfing the girl in a hug. He wasn’t sure how long they remained like that, with Andi’s face buried in his shoulder, but when they pulled away again they were both smiling.

“I’m always here for you, okay?”

She nodded, raising an eyebrow slightly as Cyrus’ smile took a mischievous edge.

“But anyways...Amber, huh?”

“Cyrus!” she groaned, giving his shoulder a playful shove.

“Is it serious? Have you guys gone on a date? Oh my god - have you guys  _kissed_?”

He gasped at Andi’s embarrassed silence.

“You  _have_! Okay that’s it - tell me everything, starting from how you two met.” 

Andi just rolled her eyes fondly. “Can I FaceTime you tonight and tell you then?”

“ _..._ Fine,” Cyrus agreed begrudgingly.

The girl smiled brightly and got up from the bed, walking over to the door. She glanced back at Cyrus, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed with a stubborn pout.

“I love you,” she told him, smiling slightly.

Cyrus’ pout melted instantly at that. “I love you too,” he smiled back.

TJ came back into the room a few moments after she had left, a slight wince on his face.

“So uh...who wants pizza?” he asked, smiling slightly when Cyrus just snorted. 

“Me,” he complained, falling back against the bed, “this weekend has been a roller coaster.”

“A fun roller coaster?” TJ asked, settling down on the bed next to him.

“Yeah,” Cyrus responded, looking up at the boy with a smile, “mostly.”


	6. The Instagram message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus and Marty catch up after a busy week. Cyrus calls an emergency meeting at The Spoon after someone from his past reaches out to him again. TJ takes him out to get coffee because...why not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I GOT HIT WITH A BUNCH OF MOTIVATION SO HERE WE ARE

The following week brought consistent days of rain and thunderstorms. Cyrus continued to attend his book club meetings, getting by on coffee and late night phone calls with TJ. It was rare that he saw him on school days, despite the café providing a convenient middle ground for them. He focused on his work, tried not to let his mind wander too much during class and tried not to think about all the butterflies that filled his stomach whenever his phone lit up with a notification from TJ. He even found himself messaging with Marty on occasion, and the boys had agreed to meet up on Friday after school at their local park.

Friday wasn’t too different from the other days apart from his arrangement with Marty. He  _did_  have a slight spring in his step though because it _was_ Friday and thatmeant he had a whole weekend ahead of him to do whatever he wanted. 

Marty was rapidly becoming someone who Cyrus felt comfortable telling almost anything to because he wasn’t involved in Cyrus’ life as much as Buffy and Andi were, and it was refreshing to get another perspective. He still unsure what had come of Marty’s outing situation though, and he was slightly afraid to bring it up over text. 

There was also one thing he was afraid of telling Marty, and even  _he_  struggled to understand why.

It was overcast when the boy approached him, sitting down next to him on the wooden bench with a bright smile. He sat perfectly straight - which Cyrus had noticed the first time they met too, and it made him feel somewhat self-conscious about his own posture so he found himself straightening slightly too. There was a light breeze, and a particularly large amount of noise coming from the cars in front of them as people rushed home from work after a busy week. There were a few smaller kids at the park with their parents, but Cyrus and Marty were a fair distance away from them all.

“Hey,” Marty greeted.

Cyrus returned the smile, turning slightly to face the boy. 

“Hey!” 

“What’s been going on with you?”

Cyrus leant back against the bench then, thinking back over the past week.

“Homework,” he responded after a moment, exaggerating a shudder, “and I’ve been calling TJ too, but that’s about it.”

“Calling TJ, huh? That’s nice.”

Cyrus felt his face warm slightly at the clear implications, but he tried his hardest not to seem fazed. He had come to the conclusion recently that him and TJ were just flirty people - _that_ was all.

“It  _is_  nice,” he responded, giving Marty a playful swat on the shoulder, “he’s a nice guy.”

“A very nice, good-looking-“

“Oh god - please not the selling thing again,” Cyrus interrupted with a laugh.

Marty just smiled and shrugged, looking out at the playground for a few moments.

“Buffy tells me you’ve been getting distracted in class lately.” 

Cyrus had to take a few seconds to process the words, but when he had his eyes widened. Marty didn’t seem like the type of person Buffy would usually talk to - in fact, he seemed like the exact type of person she would normally  _rival_  with. 

“You and Buffy  _talk_  now?” he demanded.

Marty nodded, and Cyrus gave him an incredulous look.

“We’ve been messaging a bit since the incident,” he explained.

Cyrus laughed slightly. “That’s a good name for it. The ‘incident’ - where my friends fought over me and I had a panic attack because of it.” 

“ _And_  a very nice boy helped you out,” Marty added with a smile.

“Yeah,” Cyrus agreed, fiddling with the bracelet around his wrist. “Thanks again for that, by the way.”

“It was no problem,” he assured. “You can message me if it ever happens again.” 

Cyrus smiled gratefully and reverted to watching some of the cars go by, thinking back to his first meeting with Marty. He had seemed so scared then, his face pale and his eyes filled to the brim with tears. He seemed more confident now - more  _him_.

“Anyway - about the whole being distracted thing,” Marty continued.

Cyrus’ stomach flipped at the words. He  _had_  been distracted throughout the week, he just wasn’t exactly prepared to admit what - or  _who_  - had been distracting him.

“Pffft, I haven’t been distracted,” he said, waving a hand dismissively, “Buffy must be seeing wrong.” 

Marty raised an amused eyebrow. “That was so fake it was practically a confirmation.”

Cyrus could feel his face warming again as he looked up at the sky with a slight groan. 

“Okay - I’ve been distracted. So what?” 

He couldn’t see Marty at that moment, but he knew the boy was probably smirking.

“Distracted by a certain someone...?” 

Cyrus covered his face with his hands, feeling very mortified by the fact that he blushed so easily -  _particularly_  when it came to TJ.

“No,” he practically squeaked, which had Marty laughing slightly. 

“Okay, okay, I won’t pry,” he said, which gave Cyrus the confidence to remove his hands from his face, “but you know you can tell me anything, right?” 

Cyrus’ stomach dropped. He hadn’t officially come out to Marty, although he supposed it was fairly obvious that he wasn’t straight by now. He had always struggled with saying the words ‘I’m gay’ aloud for some reason, and he could really only think of one instance where he had directly said the words to anyone - Buffy. Apart from that he had always come out indirectly by saying he liked boys, or something along those lines.

In his mind, the word ‘gay’ still seemed to hold all of these scary connotations, most of which he had learned through listening to his step-dad over the years. It felt much safer for him to say he liked boys - being gay seemed like something so much more concrete.

“I know,” he responded after a few moments, giving Marty a weak smile, “thanks.” 

He hesitated for a few seconds, before adding “I’m sorry,” in a small voice.

A kind smile came to Marty’s lips. He patted Cyrus’ knee comfortingly.

“Don’t be sorry, dude. Whenever you’re ready.” 

They both knew what it was that Cyrus couldn’t bring himself to say out loud, but Marty didn’t pressure him, and Cyrus was grateful.

“So what happened with that guy - Liam, right?” 

Marty let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah. It’s Liam. He  _did_ out me, so that’s fun.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Cyrus said, unsure of what else to say. He knew words weren’t likely to make the situation any better.

Marty brushed him off though. “It’s fine. I can’t do anything about it now.” 

“...Surely he can get in trouble for that, right?”

“I have no idea,” Marty said honestly, averting his gaze to the ground. 

Cyrus bit his lip. “Maybe we  _should_  let TJ deal with it.” 

“That would involve a lot of punching,” Marty laughed, “so, I’m not sure.” 

“Yeah, true. Well...message me whenever, okay? I’m always here.” 

Marty’s lips twitched up in a small smile. “Thanks, Cyrus. I can see why TJ cares about you so much.”  

Cyrus’ heart leaped at the words. “...You can?” he asked nervously, fiddling his bracelet again.

Marty nodded, clearly taking note of the boy’s reaction. “Yeah,” he said, giving him a playful nudge, “I can.” 

 

~

 

Cyrus didn’t particularly like looking back at certain moments in his life - things like embarrassing mistakes, that seemed to randomly appear in his head at 3am and keep him awake the whole night. There was that time in fifth grade where he had fallen into the mud right in front of the boy he had a crush on, and more recently that time he had responded “TJ” when his biology teacher asked him what cell organelle was responsible for synthesising proteins. Not his finest moment by any means, and it had earnt him a few days worth of teasing from Andi.

There were also periods of time in his life that he didn’t like remembering, and one of those happened to be the few months he spent dating Dylan Banks.

In hindsight, their relationship had been toxic from the start. Dylan always was kind of controlling, demanding to know what friends Cyrus was hanging out with and when, then proceeding to go to parties and make out with girls to seem straight. Cyrus had only discovered this later on, and he _still_  vividly remember the soul-crushing moment he had realised what Dylan’s late night ‘soccer practises’ truly were. They were both closeted and scared, faking relationships with girls in order to hide what was really going on. Neither of them had been ready for a relationship of that kind - not when they were both so insecure in themselves.

That’s why Cyrus’ heart sank when his phone lit up with a notification that Dylan had followed him again on Instagram. It was Saturday, and the week’s overcast weather had finally given way to some sunshine. It was still relatively cold though, and he found himself anxiously tugging at his jacket as he looked about The Spoon. Naturally, he had called an emergency meeting with Buffy, Andi and Iris - they were the only ones that had known about his relationship with Dylan after all. The diner was bustling today, sunlight streaming through the windows as waiters and waitresses hopped between tables and took orders.

“Hey babe,” Iris greeted, sliding into the booth next to him with a smile. He snapped out his daze at that, returning the smile weakly and reaching out automatically to take her hand.

Buffy was the next to arrive, glancing disapprovingly at their intertwined hands as she slid in across from them. 

“So,” she prompted, raising an eyebrow, “what  is it? Why’d you call us here?” 

Cyrus just shook his head. “Let’s wait for Andi.” 

Buffy didn’t persist any further, although for a moment it looked like she wanted to. They sat in relative silence for a minute or so, and Cyrus let out a small sigh of relief when Andi walked inside, the bell chiming sharply above her.

She sat down next to Buffy, her eyes darting worriedly between Cyrus and Iris.

“Did something happen?” she breathed, her face tinged red. Cyrus felt bad for a moment that she had seemingly ran all the way there.

“Kind of,” he said, lowering his gaze to the table in front of him. 

“What is it?” Buffy asked, her voice softer now.

“Dylan followed me again on Instagram.” 

Iris tensed beside him, her grip on his hand tightening slightly. Andi took a deep breath in, while Buffy just closed her eyes momentarily, clearly trying to prevent herself from getting mad.

“I really never wanted to hear that name again,” said Buffy after a moment. 

Cyrus laughed bitterly. “I know - same here.”

“But you can just block him, can’t you?” Andi asked him. 

Buffy seemed to sense his hesitance. "Cyrus - he’s an  _asshole_. You don’t have to feel bad about blocking him.” 

Cyrus nodded meekly, not exactly willing to admit that he didn’t feel bad about blocking Dylan in the slightest. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it for some reason. A tiny, vocal part of his brain  _wanted_  Dylan to reach out to him. To apologise. To give him some closure.

“Okay, but here’s the thing- “

“ _Cyrus_ ,” all three girls interrupted, and he couldn’t help but laugh slightly.

“I’m sorry!” he defended, raising his free arm in surrender, “it’s just...”

“Just what?” Buffy asked. “Cyrus - Dylan is in the past, and quite frankly, _that’s_ where he belongs.” 

“Buffy’s right,” Iris said, her voice gentle, “the best thing you can do is block him and move on, Cy.” 

Cyrus turned the words over in his head for a moment or two. He knew deep down that his friends were right. He had never blocked Dylan after they broke up - Dylan had just unfollowed him, and they left it at that. The fact that Cyrus had never blocked the boy almost made it feel like he was still a part of his life - constantly in the back of his mind, constantly reminding him just how bad romantic relationships can be.

He bit his lip. “I should,” he agreed.

“We’ll sit here and watch you do it, okay?” Iris said, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

He took a deep breath and nodded, pulling his phone from his pocket and opening Instagram.   He tapped on Dylan’s profile, glancing up again at Andi and Buffy for assurance. They both nodded, and he tapped the block button with a small sigh.

“We’re proud of you Cyrus,” Andi smiled, and Buffy nodded in agreement.

“Dylan isn’t worth your time,” she added.

Cyrus smiled weakly. “Thanks guys.” 

It really wasn’t his finest moment by any means, but as the girls fell into conversation Cyrus found himself looking down at his phone, itching to unblock the boy. 

He gave in after a moment, anxiously glancing up at his friends as he unblocked Dylan’s profile. He hated the control Dylan seemed to have over him, even now, and he spent most of the conversation staring guiltily down at the table. Iris picked up on this, and she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. He squeezed back, trying hard not to feel bad.

As had become commonplace over the past few weeks, his mind wandered to TJ. He thought about how charming he was, how charismatic he was, how kind he was, and for a heart-sinking moment he was reminded of Dylan. He had known deep down that the boys shared striking similarities, but he tried to push this knowledge to the very back of his mind and keep it there. 

He couldn’t anymore.

Shaking his head slightly in attempt to steer himself away from that train of thought, Cyrus tried to tune back into the conversation he was missing.

“So this guy - Marty - you’ve been talking to him?” Iris asked.

“Pfft, I wouldn’t call it ‘talking’,” Buffy responded, looking hesitant for once in her life, “I’d just call it...communicating. A little bit. For practical purposes.” 

Iris raised an eyebrow and leant back in her seat, clearly not believing her. Andi giggled slightly, while Cyrus just gave Buffy a knowing smile.

He still couldn’t get Dylan out of his head as they talked, and for some reason he found himself scrolling through his contacts and tapping TJ’s name. The boy  _was_  awfully good at distracting him after all - that had become apparent over the past week - and he really needed to be distracted at that moment. 

 

 **Cyrus:**  hiiii 

 **Cyrus:** please come to the spoon 

 **TJ:**  the spoon? is that the diner right near your school? 

 **Cyrus:**  yes! it’s usually salt-lake territory but...you can be my plus-one

 **TJ:** wow i feel honoured, cy! 

 **TJ:**  i can get there in like 10 minutes if that’s okay? maybe 15 

 **Cyrus:** that’s fine!! i’ll see you then :) 

 

Cyrus anxiously bounced his leg as he concentrated on taking in the conversation and responding occasionally. He jolted slightly when he got a notification from Instagram, and he frantically checked his direct messages.

 

 **Dylan:** Hey! It’s been a while. 

 

Cyrus swore he almost fainted. He felt cold all over, and as he looked down at his screen he couldn’t help but feel angry.  _This_  is what Dylan had to say after a year?

He closed the app and stowed his phone away in his pocket before any of the girls could notice. He was well and truly in his own world now, going over Dylan’s message in his head again and again. 

When TJ finally arrived, looking like a literal sunbeam as he walked through the glass door with one of those bright smiles, Cyrus felt himself relax slightly. It closed with a soft thud, and he began to make his way over to their table.

Iris sent Cyrus a smirk and got out of her seat, joining Buffy and Andi on the other side of the booth. His face warmed slightly as the boy slid in next to him, an adorable pair of glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He looked comfy in a basketball hoodie, and Cyrus once again found himself wanting to wrap him up in a hug. 

“Sorry about the glasses, I didn’t have time to put my contacts in,” he explained, flashing Cyrus a smile. 

Buffy looked only vaguely annoyed by his presence, which Cyrus would take as a win considering they had been yelling at each other a week ago. Andi smiled at them both, her eyes darting curiously between them, while Iris was just sat there looking smug.

“You messaged TJ to come over while you were hanging out with  _us_?” Buffy asked him with an annoyed huff. 

“Yeah Cy, aren’t we good enough company?” Andi teased.

Cyrus bit his lip, trying hard to contain a smile. “You guys know I love you,” he said.

Buffy scoffed. “But you just happen to love TJ more.” 

If Cyrus had been drinking something then, he  _definitely_  would’ve choked.

“What! No- “ 

“So you don’t love me?” TJ interrupted, a pout forming on his lips.

Cyrus could feel himself blushing again.

He gave the boy a playful shove. “You’re putting words in my mouth!” he spluttered, letting out an annoyed huff when TJ just laughed and placed a casual arm on the seat behind him. 

A waiter came up to their table then and placed down two baskets of baby taters with a polite smile. Cyrus perked up immediately, while TJ just smiled, his eyes never leaving the boy.

“You guys know what this means, right?” Cyrus asked them.

Buffy groaned. “It couldn’t be tater theatre, could it?”

“Correct!”

TJ tore his gaze away from Cyrus, shifting it towards Buffy for a moment. “What’s that?”

“Theatre - but with taters,” the girl explained.

“...Well that clears everything up.”

Cyrus just smiled and reached over TJ’s arm to grab a few baby taters, setting up a makeshift napkin stage.

“On this edition of ‘romantic clichés that are kinda overrated but I like anyway’ - we have dramatic rain kisses!”

“You like dramatic rain kisses?” TJ asked him, raising an amused eyebrow.

“I like dramatic anything,” Cyrus responded, placing two baby taters on the napkin stage.

“Good to know.” 

Cyrus chose to pointedly ignore the comment for his own sake.

“Last time we left off with Beth and Jacob, two star-crossed lovers who- “

“Why do they have to be straight?” TJ interrupted. 

Cyrus gave him a pointed look. “Because we’re emulating classic romances here, TJ.” 

The pair went on like this, with TJ making add-ons to Cyrus’ story that he couldn’t help but laugh at, and soon they found themselves completely wrapped up in their own world, pretending to be a pair of star-crossed  _baby taters._ Cyrus eventually forgot all about Dylan, and his message, and how much it had hurt him. Instead, he was focusing on baby tater theatre, and that was  _far_  more enjoyable.

The girls fell into their own conversation, sending the pair amused glances every once and a while. TJ was all fond smiles and looks and touches, while Cyrus was all blushes and laughs, and it was nauseatingly sweet to witness.

When TJ got up to go to the bathroom, they all fixed their gazes on Cyrus, who gave them a hesitant wave. 

“Can I help you?” he asked. 

Buffy gave him an incredulous look. “What was  _that_?” she demanded.

“What was what?” he asked her, playing dumb.

“Cyrus - I’m pretty sure anyone could’ve felt the chemistry between you and TJ from a  _mile_  away,” Andi said.

“Pfft- “he began, but Iris interrupted him.

“You guys a _lot_ of chemistry - don’t even deny it, Cy.”

He thought back to his first meeting with TJ, how quickly they had both clicked, how easy it had felt talking to him.

Maybe they  _did_  have a lot of chemistry, and that was honestly kind of scary. He hadn’t gotten that type of comment from anyone since...well...Dylan. His heart sank at the mere thought, and TJ seemed to notice it as he sat down.

“You okay?” he asked quietly.

Cyrus took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay.”  

It really didn’t feel like it though - not with so many thoughts about Dylan swirling around in his head.

 

~

 

 **Dylan:** Hey! It’s been a while. 

 

He read over the message again, feeling sick to his stomach. It was 1am now and he was curled up in bed with a few blankets, his curtains drawn shut and his rainbow nightlight on. The soft glow his phone emitted lit his face up, which was one of the only things that could be seen in the pitch black of his room.

He had been typing and re-typing a message back, but he was finding it pretty difficult to find the words. All he could seem to come up with for some reason was ‘Hey!’ or ‘Hi - yes it has!’ and that wasn’t what he wanted to say at all. 

There were a billion different things he wanted to say to Dylan. He wanted to yell at him for all of the sleepless nights he spent thinking about him, for all the afternoons he spent crying over him, for all of precious time he had taken away from Andi, Buffy and Iris while they comforted him and wiped every single one of his tears away. Cyrus wanted to send Dylan a long, angry message explaining to him how much he hurt him, how much it wasn’t okay to message him after a year saying ‘Hey! It’s been a while.’

But he couldn’t bring himself to do any of those things. 

Dylan always did seem to have that effect on him. Winning him over with kindness and kisses and sweet talk whenever Cyrus was angry with him rather than addressing the issue itself. It was his  _thing_ , and now that he thought about it, this message was so  _Dylan_  it was crazy. 

What he eventually settled on was ‘Hi’, because for some reason that’s all he could bring himself for type. A small part of him still desperately wanted closure, seeing as Dylan had moved schools and left him without saying goodbye, and that part of him seemed to win over above all else.

 

~

 

Cyrus was distracted again at school the following day, but instead of TJ’s smiles he was thinking about Dylan’s message, jumping whenever he got a notification and frantically grabbing his phone from his pocket to check Instagram. 

By the end of the day he still hadn’t responded, and Cyrus almost wanted to laugh.  He should’ve seen it coming. Expecting  _anything_  predictable from Dylan was a huge mistake. 

He found some solace in the fact that the weather seemed to be reflecting his mood at the current moment; overcast, dreary, but not raining - yet, anyway. He adjusted his bag strap slightly as he crossed the basketball courts, his eyes downcast. 

He was so distracted that he hadn’t even noticed TJ standing by the gates, waving at him with one of those heart-warming smiles on his face. Cyrus tried to push Dylan to the back his mind - where he belonged - and forced a smile onto his lips as he changed his course to approach TJ.

“Hey!” the boy greeted.

“Hi,” he responded, wincing slightly at how dull the word had sounded. He pushed through the gate and walked up to TJ, looking at the boy curiously.

“What brings you here?” he asked.

“Wellll, Marty told me you looked upset at school today.” 

Cyrus let out a disbelieving laugh. “And  _how_  exactly does Marty - oh. Right. Buffy.” 

TJ was looking at him expectantly now, and he averted his gaze with a sigh.  

“I guess today hasn’t been that fun for me.” 

“Wanna talk about it?” TJ asked him.

Cyrus almost wanted to laugh at the mere suggestion. Talking to TJ about Dylan was definitely  _not_  in the cards right now.

“Not really,” he ended up responding.

TJ’s lips curved into an understanding smile as he held out a hand, and Cyrus hesitated for a moment before taking it. 

“That’s fine. How about we go get some coffee then?”

Cyrus nodded in agreement, and soon they were making their way to their usual café. A light breeze ruffled both of their hair as they walked, and he found himself shivering slightly because of it. His school shirt was ridiculously thin, and TJ seemed to notice because he began to frown.

“Take my hoodie,” he said.

Cyrus felt his face warm slightly. “Oh no, I really couldn’t,” he resisted half-heartedly, but TJ just raised an eyebrow at him.

“Okay _fine_ , if you insist,” he smiled. 

TJ rolled his eyes fondly and dropped his hand for a moment, lifting the hoodie over his head. He handed it over to Cyrus as they continued to walk, and the boy spent a few moments wriggling into it. It was warm, and cozy, and it smelt like TJ’s cologne, and -  _yeah okay,_ he’d  _definitely_  have to steal more of this boy’s slightly obnoxious basketball hoodies.

“Did you get the pictures I sent you?” TJ asked him.

He shook his head and grabbed his phone from his pocket, scanning over his notifications. His heart sank when he realised that Dylan had responded, and he found himself looking up with a frown. His eyes found TJ though, who was giving him a soft smile, and for a split second he couldn’t care  _less_ about Dylan.

He deleted the notification and tapped on TJ’s name instead to find that the boy had sent him a bunch of cute kitten pictures. He couldn’t help but smile down at his phone as he scrolled through them.

“Thank you so much,” he laughed, playfully bumping into the boy as they walked. 

“No problem! Let me know if you ever want some more - I kind of have a whole folder.” 

When they arrived they settled down on their usual blue couch and talked the afternoon away, cozied up with coffee and pillows and nice warm lighting as they watched it pour rain outside. 

Cyrus didn’t check his phone once.


	7. Goodnight n' Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus struggles to distract himself from memories of Dylan. A trip to his usual cafe ends in him hanging out with TJ, Jonah and Marty. TJ is an Ariana Grande stan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedication to Micah (@ bezlque) on tumblr bc he edited this chapter and is also an overall angel!!
> 
> Possible TW: Description of a toxic relationship

_“Come on Cy, do you really have to go?”_

_Cyrus looked impatient as he stepped around his boyfriend, grabbing his phone from the counter. They’d been going back and forth like this for a few minutes now, and it didn’t seem to be getting them anywhere._

_“Yes - I really have to go! I promised Andi and Buffy I’d meet them soon.”_

_He made for the front door, but a hand wrapped around his arm, preventing him from moving forward._

_“You spend more time hanging out with_ them _than you do_ me _.”_

_Cyrus just turned his head away from the boy, feeling tears begin to prick at his eyes. It was like this every time he went to catch up with his friends, and it never failed in making him feel guilty._

_“Dylan...that’s not true. Besides, they’re important to me-“_

_“But neither of them like me,” he interrupted._

_Cyrus continued to look away, feigning a sudden interest in the_ _sunset_ _outside. Dylan noticed this and let out an annoyed huff._

_“You know that, right? None of your friends like me.”_

_“Dylan - that’s not-"_

_“True?” the boy laughed. “Give me a break.”_

_Cyrus tugged his arm from Dylan’s grasp, still refusing to look at him because that would without a doubt end in him giving in. He couldn’t help but get worried when the boy spoke like this - it almost always resulted in a fight of some kind, and he really couldn’t handle another one so soon after the last. He loved Dylan, or at least that’s what he told himself, but this constant push-and-pull game was slowly wearing him down._

_“Dylan - you have soccer practise anyway! Why is this such a big deal? While you’re there, I’ll be with my friends.”_

_“That’s not until later! I don’t wanna be alone here,” the boy whined, and Cyrus almost wanted to laugh at how ridiculous the whole situation was._

_“Your sister’s right there in her room, you know?”_

_Dylan rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”_

_“Actually - I don’t,” said Cyrus, feeling anger begin to bubble to the surface. “Dylan - you can’t just - you can’t do this every time I want to hang out with someone! I have people in my life that care about me!”_

_“_ I _care about you! Isn’t that enough?”_

_Cyrus couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped his lips. At this point, he was honestly doubting if Dylan cared about him at all._

_Dylan softened slightly then, as he always did, and Cyrus knew exactly what was coming next._

_“Come on baby,” he mumbled, stepping into the boy’s space and putting a hand on his waist. Cyrus just shook his head, still looking down at the ground as if it were suddenly the most important thing in the world. He_ hated _being called that._

 _There they were - stood in the kitchen while the sun continued to lower in the sky, the time he was supposed to meet with his friends fast approaching. He didn’t have time for this. He really_ didn’t _have time for this._

_Dylan went to press a kiss to his lips but Cyrus just turned his head, and it ended up landing on his cheek. He scoffed to himself and stepped back._

_“Fine. Leave me then.”_

_Cyrus just shook his head, his bottom lip quivering slightly. “That’s not what I’m-“_

_“Just go, Cy. Hang out with your friends. You clearly prefer them over me anyway.”_

_Cyrus bit his lip and grabbed the keys again, heading over to the front door._

_“I’ll...be back at around 9, okay?” he said, his voice small._

_He didn’t receive a response, so he threw it open and stepped out into the cool evening air, tears blurring his vision slightly as he began to make his way to The Spoon. He harshly rubbed at his eyes, feeling stupid for getting so upset over something so small._

All couples fought like this, _he told himself as he walked, a light gust of breeze ruffling his hair. He tugged at his jacket, feeling shivers begin to kick in as the wind picked up._

_Every couple had their ups and downs. This kind of thing was normal._

_He continued to repeat this phrase in his head - something he found himself doing often - and soon enough he was pushing through the glass doors of The Spoon. He jolted slightly when the bell chimed, tearing him away from his thoughts as he scanned the diner._

_Buffy and Andi were sat together at their usual corner booth, looking at him worriedly as he made his way over._

_“You looked exhausted, Cyrus,” said Andi, her eyebrows furrowed as the boy sat down. “You okay?”_

_He forced a weak smile and nodded, not willing to admit that he’d been losing sleep over his current predicament with Dylan._

_“Why were you late?” Buffy inquired, looking equally concerned._

_Cyrus just shrugged. “Dylan was holding me up a bit again. No big deal.”_

_“Um -_ yes _big deal,” the girl responded, exchanging a brief look with Andi. “He can’t keep controlling you like that, Cyrus.”_

_The boy averted his gaze, anxiously drumming his fingers against the table._

_“It’s nothing,” he insisted, his voice thick with the effort of fighting back tears._

_His phone went off in his pocket then and he quickly pulled it out, hoping for some kind of message from Dylan. His face fell slightly when he saw that it_ _was_ _Iris, but he tapped on the notification anyway._

 

 **_Iris:_ ** _hey cy...i’m not sure if you’ve seen this but:_

 **_Iris:_ ** _*one link attached*_

 

 _His stomach was doing somersaults as he tapped on the link, being taken immediately to the_ _Instagram_ _app. It took a few excruciating seconds to load, but once it had his heart stopped. He scanned over the picture for a moment, and it was like the floodgates had been opened because suddenly he was dissolving into tears._

_There was no mistaking it - a girl he couldn’t recognise had Dylan pressed up against a wall at a party, her lips locked with his and her hands in his hair. He had a plastic red cup in his hand, filled with what Cyrus could only assume was alcohol._

_Andi and Buffy looked alarmed as they got up, joining Cyrus on his side of the booth._

_“What’s wrong?” Andi asked him, her voice soft._

_He shakily handed over his phone, and both girls took a few moments to look at the photo. While Andi’s face fell, Buffy’s face hardened. She looked downright_ furious _, closing her eyes for a brief moment to collect herself._

 _“I don’t know what to do,” he managed between shuddering breathes. “It keeps happening and I keep ignoring it because I_ want _to believe him when he says he has soccer practise but - that’s obviously not what it is...”_

_Andi wrapped her arms around him and gently rested her head on his shoulder. Cyrus noticed after a few moments that there were silent tears running down her face too, and he felt a pang of guilt as he pulled her closer to him._

_“You don’t deserve this, Cyrus,” Buffy said firmly. “Dylan already manipulates you and makes you feel guilty for the most stupid reasons -_ _now_ this _?”_

_Cyrus knew she was right, but he was finding it pretty difficult to face the realities at that moment._

_He just ended up nodding, his bottom lip quivering, and Buffy softened immediately. She gently rested her head on Cyrus’ shoulder, which brought a tiny smile to his lips for half a second._

_Cyrus pulled out his phone, automatically tapping on Dylan’s contact name. He always was a whole lot more impulsive when it came to Dylan, and this time was no exception._

 

 **_Cyrus:_ ** _I see you had fun at your ‘soccer practise’_

 **_Dylan:_ ** _Your fault for leaving me_

 **_Cyrus:_ ** _So it’s my fault that you made out with a girl at a party?_

 **_Dylan:_ ** _I was just hanging out with friends like you were!_

 **_Cyrus:_ ** _Yeah...’friends’_

 **_Dylan:_ ** _Says the one fake-dating that other girl_

 **_Cyrus:_ ** _You can’t compare this to Iris_

 **_Dylan:_ ** _And why not?_

 **_Cyrus:_ ** _Because I asked you so many times if you were okay with it and you said it was fine! I offered to break it off so many times!_

 **_Dylan:_ ** _Oh my god - did you honestly think I meant that? You obviously can’t read me at all lmao_

 **_Cyrus:_ ** _Okay, I’ll break it off then._

 **_Dylan:_ ** _Oh no, don’t go doing anything for me, that’d be ridiculous! Go back to hanging with your friends, wouldn’t wanna ruin your night._

 

 _He could never win._   _He could literally never win._

 _Cyrus_ _began to cry even harder, bringing a hand up to muffle his sobs, and Buffy immediately lifted her head again. She noticed Dylan’s name and took the phone from him with a sigh, scanning over the messages._

_“Idiot,” she mumbled, which had Andi lifting her head too._

_“What is it?” she asked, wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater._

_Buffy handed her the phone, and she spent a few moments reading over the messages. Once she had done she shook her head, handing the phone back to Cyrus and wrapping her arms around him again._

_“Don’t listen to him, okay? It’s not your fault that he went to that party. He’s just trying to make you feel bad.”_

_The boy laughed dryly. “Well, he’s definitely succeeding."_

_Buffy frowned at that. “I swear I’m going to punch him.”_

_A smile flickered across Cyrus’ lips. The sun had well and truly set by now, and the surrounding area was darkening by the second as shops closed for the night. He wanted nothing more than to forget any of this had happened._

_“That’s probably not the best idea,” he said softly. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”_

_“You’re probably right,” she conceded, resting her head on his shoulder again._

_They all remained like that for a while, watching stars begin to dot the night sky as the remaining few people in the diner began to trickle out. Cyrus had never been so grateful for such a supportive pair of friends in his life._

 

Cyrus honestly tried, but he couldn’t keep himself from going over memories of Dylan as he walked, his feet carrying him along a route towards the café. He wasn’t thinking about walking as much as he was about some of the lowest points in his life, points where he cried almost every day over something new Dylan had done.

Hindsight was a wonderful thing. Looking back now, he wanted to yell at his past-self for staying with Dylan for so long, but a part of him also understood. He was naive then, having never experienced a relationship, and he managed to convince himself that what he had with Dylan was completely normal, despite his friends’ insistence that it wasn’t.

He realised with a pang that the fact he was so preoccupied with his past - with Dylan - was a sure sign that the boy still had some control over him, and that thought made him want to curl up in a ball and cry. He hadn’t realised how much he had repressed until Dylan came back into his life with that message, and now here he was - going for a walk to distract himself but failing drastically.

It had been a relatively warm, cloudless day but as evening approached it began to cool down dramatically. Cyrus wanted nothing more than to sit down with coffee, some pillows, a muffin and a book. That is - until he walked through the doors and briefly scanned the café. A lot of the usual people were there, but a certain table of people made him double-take in an almost comical fashion.

Marty caught his eye and grinned immediately, waving the boy over. He laughed slightly as he approached, stopping in front of their table.

“Hey!”

TJ stopped mid-sentence to look up at him, his eyes widened in momentary shock. It wasn’t long before he was quickly moving to the chair over and patting the one next to him.

“Cy! How’s it going?”

“Good,” he lied, smiling apologetically as his eyes landed on the boy sitting next to Marty.

“Sorry for interrupting, by the way. I’m Cyrus - a friend of TJ’s.”

Jonah looked shocked for a moment, sending TJ a glance that Cyrus couldn’t decipher, before extending his hand with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m Jonah - friends with these two...unfortunately-“

“Hey!” Marty accused.

“Joking! Obviously!”

Cyrus smiled at the exchange, glancing around at their table. Although his plans to keep reading until he forgot about Dylan had gone out the window, he was _still_ set on coffee and a muffin.

“Have you guys ordered anything?”

TJ shook his head. “I was about to now, actually. Want something?”

Cyrus glanced towards the counter. He knew exactly which muffin he wanted, but for some reason, he still liked to look over all of the options.

“I’ll come with you,” he ended up saying, standing up from his chair.

TJ followed suit and they both made their way over to the counter, leaving behind a smiling Jonah and a smug-looking Marty.

“Sophie!”

The girl laughed as they approached. “Cyrus! How are you?”

“Good!” he lied again. “What about you?”

“Tired,” she smiled, “but I’ll live. So...are you here for coffee or are you here to look at all the muffin options before choosing a chocolate-chocolate chip one?”

TJ laughed beside him, and Cyrus gave the boy a playful glare.

“Both actually,” he responded, returning his gaze to Sophie and smiling wide. “Could I get an iced coffee and, since I’ve been exposed, I guess I’ll order that chocolate-chocolate chip muffin too.”

Sophie nodded, a small smile on her face as she typed the items in. “That comes to six dollars.”

He fished around in his pocket for a moment before handing over the change and stepping aside slightly for TJ. Once both boys had ordered, Sophie began on their coffees.

“This is TJ by the way,” Cyrus said.

Sophie glanced up with a smile. “Hi TJ, I’m Sophie. I think I’ve seen you around before, actually.”

“You probably have! I’m here quite a lot.”

“He’s really good at basketball,” Cyrus told her, smiling slightly when the boy covered his face with a groan. The smile on his face was unmistakable though.

“Cyrus!”

“He’s won all of his games this year _and_ he gets the most goals for his team. He’s the team captain too,” he continued, giving the boy a playful nudge with his elbow.

Sophie’s eyes flickered between the two curiously, and Cyrus immediately found himself stepping away from the boy.

“That’s awesome! Good job.”

TJ took his hands away from his face momentarily to thank her, and Cyrus couldn’t help but beam when he saw the boy was blushing. TJ _had_ to be one of the most humble people he knew.

Soon, they were thanking Sophie and heading back over to their table, carrying two coffees, two glasses of water and 4 muffins. It was a bit of a struggle, but they managed it somehow without dropping anything.

“I think you have an addiction TJ,” Marty joked as he set the iced coffees down on the table.

“Pffft, If _I_ have an addiction, then what does _Cyrus_ have?”

“Hey!” said Cyrus, which had TJ laughing as he sat down.

“Whatever - at least Jonah’s sensible,” Marty sighed, taking a sip from his glass of water.

“Coffee prevents Parkinson’s, you know?” TJ told him smugly, “there’s studies.”

“Even if that _was_ true I’m sure it’s only by a tiny amount,” Marty countered. 

Cyrus and Jonah were more than happy to let the boys bicker about the benefits of coffee as they ate their muffins, exchanging the occasional amused glance. He tried hard not to check his phone for messages, but he did, and he regretted it almost instantly when he saw Dylan’s name in his notifications. He glanced wearily about at the table before tapping on it.

 

 **Dylan:** I’m out as gay now btw

He glanced up again before responding.

 **Cyrus:** Good for you

 **Dylan:** You’re not?

 **Cyrus:**...Not rlly any of your business

 **Dylan:** So that’s a no then

 **Cyrus:** You always did assume things :)

 **Dylan:** Oh come on Cy, that was low

 **Cyrus:** Not low enough, I think

 

“Who’s that?” TJ asked him, a frown appearing on his face when Cyrus jumped slightly and immediately shoved his phone into his pocket.

“No one!”

The boy nodded slowly, and for a heart-sinking moment Cyrus thought that he would press for more information in front of Marty and Jonah. He didn’t though, returning to his muffin instead. Cyrus almost wanted to laugh at his own ridiculousness - this _was_ TJ they were talking about after all.

“Whoa - you inhaled that, Cyrus,” Marty commented, gesturing to the empty muffin wrapper in front of him.

“I haven’t eaten all day,” he confessed, only just registering that fact himself.

He had been so caught up in doing homework to distract himself that he had completely forgotten about food.

TJ looked over at him in alarm.

“ _Cyrus,_ ” he accused, glancing briefly down at his phone. “It’s 5 pm!”

“I guess it is,” he shrugged, taking a sip of his iced coffee.

TJ exchanged a worried look with Marty, before tearing off a large chunk of his own muffin.

“Here,” he said.

Cyrus just smiled. “TJ - I’m fine, really.”

TJ just continued to hold the muffin piece out though, his eyebrows raised challengingly. Cyrus relented after a few moments.

“Thanks,” he said, accepting the muffin piece.

They all fell into a conversation after that, TJ and Marty exchanging occasional glances that Cyrus couldn’t seem to decipher. It was around 6 when they finally walked out of the café, laughing at one of Marty’s jokes.

TJ lingered back for a moment as they walked, his gaze concerned. “Are you okay, Cy?”

Cyrus just smiled and nodded. “I’m fine.”

 

~

 

It was Saturday night and the boys didn’t have anywhere to be, so they decided to get pizza for dinner at the park. TJ and Jonah were tasked with walking over to the nearby shops and ordering, while Cyrus and Marty stayed behind. It had cooled down considerably now that the sun had mostly set, with crickets chirping around them and a soft breeze messing up their hair slightly. They were alone there, watching the cars go by much like they had last time they caught up.

Marty seemed to notice how tense Cyrus was because he placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I know TJ has probably already asked you this...but are you sure you’re okay?”

Cyrus wasn’t sure what exactly made him say what he did. Maybe it was how concerned Marty looked at that moment, or his soft gaze, or the small, understanding smile on his lips. He really didn’t know - all he knew was that suddenly he was blurting the words “I’m gay” for the second time in his life, and Marty was pulling him into a tight hug before he could process what he had done.

They remained like that for what felt like minutes but was probably only seconds, and Cyrus felt himself relaxing. Everything seemed slightly more okay than it had before in the café.

“Is that what you’ve been upset about lately?” Marty asked him as they separated.

“No, not really...”

The boy smiled and nodded. “Well...thanks anyway for telling me. I’m always here if you ever wanna talk.”

Cyrus smiled and leaned back against the bench, feeling far less on edge now.

“So...are you still talking to Buffy?” he asked.

“Yeah! She’s uh...really great.”

Cyrus bit his lip to contain a wide smile.

“She is,” he agreed. “She’s really nice too, great at sport, super smart, straight up about what she’s feeling-“

“Hey - that’s _my_ thing!” Marty interrupted with a laugh.

They continued on like this until TJ and Jonah came back, their loud laughter getting lost in the array of noises around them. It was dark out now, with store lights illuminating the street next to them and cars zooming past, their headlights all on.

“We got the pizza!” TJ called as they made their way over to the pair.

Cyrus and Marty exchanged an amused glance as they shuffled over, making room for them. TJ sat down next to Cyrus, opening the box and handing a slice to both of the boys.

“We were originally going to get just pizza, but TJ saw the fridge with drinks and it was all over from there,” Jonah explained, smiling as he set a large bottle of solo on the ground and sat down.

“It’s for _hydration_ ,” TJ defended, which Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh at.

“Yeah - because people drink solo for the water content TJ,” said Marty, smiling when the boy fixed him with a glare.

“You know you’re talking to the person who just walked about ten miles to get you guys pizza?”

“The pizza store is right across the road!”

Cyrus could practically feel his worries about Dylan melting away as he laughed with the group, entertained by TJ and Marty’s constant back-and-forths. He turned his phone off to avoid any temptations, stowing it away in his pocket as he watched TJ attempt to craft something out of the pizza box.

“I’ve seen Instagram videos,” he insisted, folding the cardboard in the most ridiculous ways imaginable.

Marty snorted, ducking a moment later to avoid the piece of cardboard TJ playfully threw at him.

“It’s supposed to look like a building,” he said, frowning slightly as he held up his creation.

Cyrus brought a hand up to stifle his giggles, while Marty and Jonah both burst into unashamed laughter.

“TJ, I hate to break this to you, but it looks like a folded pizza box.”

“I didn’t have scissors!” TJ defended, pouting slightly.

Cyrus smiled sympathetically. “I like it! It’s...abstract.”

“That’s one word for it,” Marty laughed.

TJ just rolled his eyes, smiling slightly as placed his creation on the bench next to Cyrus and pulled his phone from his pocket.

“You guys are being mean, so I legally get to play 5 Ariana Grande songs in a row now.”

Marty exchanged a look with Jonah, before turning back to the boy with an exaggerated sigh.

“Fine, but it has to be 5 different songs this time, not the same one repeated fine times.”

“Deal!” TJ smiled, scrolling through options on his phone.

After a few moments of obvious internal debate, the starting notes of ‘goodnight n go’ began to ring out.

Cyrus’ stomach flipped when TJ lifted his gaze to meet his, placing the phone down on the bench next to Marty. He held out a hand, and Cyrus swore his heart stopped for a moment.

He looked frantically to both Jonah and Marty, who were giving him smug smiles, then back to TJ, who was looking at him so fondly that Cyrus’ heart almost couldn’t handle it.

“Wanna dance?”

“I really can’t,” he said quickly, “I’m probably the most awful dancer I know, and that includes a lot of awful-“

“I don’t mind,” TJ assured him.

Cyrus could feel his face warming as he hesitantly took TJ’s hand, allowing himself to be gently pulled up from the bench.

“You promise you don’t mind?” he asked, his voice small, but TJ just gave him one of those bright smiles.

“Promise.”

Marty and Jonah shuffled closer to fill the gap  between them, both watching the pair knowingly.

 

_Oh, why’d you have to be so cute?_

_It’s impossible to ignore you_

 

Cyrus was hesitant at first, trying to follow what TJ was doing, but even _he_ could tell that his movements were awkward and somewhat contrived. The boy just smiled though, taking both of his hands, and Cyrus found himself feeling very thankful that there was darkness around them to conceal the blush on his face.

 

_Why must you make me laugh so much?_

_It’s bad enough we get along so well_

 

“TJ!” Cyrus giggled as the boy spun him around, holding his hand above their heads.

“Yeah?” he grinned, pulling him back in slightly.

The stars were shining above them now, and various lights from the street next to them illuminated the park. The breeze was soft, washing over both of them, and Marty seemed to have turned up the volume because suddenly the music seemed a whole lot louder. Cyrus dropped TJ’s hands for a moment to shrug off his jacket, tossing it aside without a care in the world.

 

_Just say goodnight and go_

_Just say goodnight and go_

 

By the time the song was finished, Cyrus was slightly winded, his breathing ragged as he smiled up at TJ. Marty and Jonah had fallen into a conversation by now, sending the pair amused glances every once in a while. 

“I was going to ask you something,” said Cyrus, still leaning into TJ’s space.

The boy smiled. “Like what?”

“My school prom is coming up, and I kinda offered to help out with invites and putting up posters. Wanna come help?”

“Sure,” TJ agreed, not missing a beat. “When is it?”

“After school on Monday,” Cyrus smiled.

He nodded, biting his lip in a way that had all of the butterflies in Cyrus’ stomach going crazy.

“I’m there,” he said, before drawing back slightly.

“Another song?” he offered, walking over to his phone again.

Cyrus found himself nodding, realising almost immediately that TJ wasn’t facing him. He was smiling softly when the boy turned around and extended a hand to him, the starting notes of a new song coming from his phone now.

“Sure,” said Cyrus, taking TJ’s hand without a second thought.

 

~

 

Sunday brought with it another day of sunshine, but Monday was a whole other matter. It had been dreary from the moment Cyrus stepped outside in the morning and even now, sitting in room 15 after school, it was overcast outside. He really wouldn’t be surprised if it began pouring rain.

TJ walked through the doors after about 5 minutes, smiling as he approached Cyrus, Buffy, and Andi. Everything was going well - Buffy warmed up to him even more than she had last time, TJ and Andi were bonding over their shared love for dirt-biking, and Cyrus was writing names on invitations in his cursive scrawl, looking fondly at the other boy as he began mingling with some of the people at their table.

TJ and him, along with a tenth-grade boy, were assigned to put up posters along the corridor where Cyrus’ locker was and even that was going well. TJ was great with new people, which Cyrus had picked up on relatively quickly after their first meeting, and they were all able to talk as they put up posters without too many awkward silences.

Things were going _too_ well if you asked Cyrus, and it was only inevitable that _something_ should go wrong. He had lingered back by his locker as the other two moved on, putting up a few more posters. He was leaning forward slightly, rummaging around for some more tape when out of nowhere he heard a voice that made his heart stop.

“Damn. He’s a lot like me, huh?”

Cyrus swallowed thickly, slowly turning around on the spot, not even fully _prepared_ to see the boy at that moment. He felt cold all over, and the world seemed to shift around him.

“Dylan,” he breathed out.

The boy just smiled. “Hey.”


	8. Almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus and Dylan have a conversation about TJ. Cyrus begins to doubt his importance in TJ's life. TJ has a confession to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much to the lovely Micah (@ bezlque on tumblr) for editing this chapter!! He is a literal angel and I owe him everything.

Cyrus felt as though a rug had been rudely pulled out from under his feet. He kept opening his mouth to say something, to say _anything_ , only to close it again a moment later and continue to stare blankly.

Dylan seemed to find this amusing if the smirk on his lips was anything to go by.

“You obviously haven’t changed much,” he said, flicking his gaze towards the jumbled pile of things in Cyrus’ locker, “and neither has your locker.”

Cyrus tried to roll his eyes as nonchalantly as he possibly could, but on the inside, he was the total _opposite_ of nonchalant.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

Dylan just shrugged. “I could ask you the same. School’s out, you know?”

Cyrus rolled his eyes and turned back to his locker. “I’m helping out with prom,” he mumbled, reverting back to rummaging around, “not that it’s any of your business.”

“Ouch,” Dylan teased, raising his arms in mock surrender.

Cyrus was very happy to keep rummaging for tape until Dylan got bored and wandered away. He couldn’t deal with something like this on a Monday afternoon when the week had barely even _started_.

“Well. He’s cute.”

Any plans that Cyrus previously had were thrown out of the window. He immediately turned back around, feeling anger begin to rise in his throat. Dylan was one of the _only_ people who could get him riled up within seconds, and that fact in itself frustrated him to no end.

“What are you talking about?”

Dylan smiled, clearly content with the attention he had gained again. Cyrus had to take a deep breath in order to stop himself from doing something stupid - like breaking down right then and there. That smile was Dylan’s _‘I win’_ smile, and it never failed in making him feel hopeless.

“Oh come on - _him_ ,” said Dylan, nodding his head pointedly in TJ’s direction.

He was laughingly putting up silver stars alongside the posters, helping the tenth-grade boy when he couldn’t reach something.

“I can’t believe how small you are,” TJ teased, only to receive a playful shove in return.

“You’re older,” the boy replied stubbornly.

Cyrus couldn’t help but smile fondly at the sight, forgetting for a brief moment that Dylan was even there. TJ was nothing but kind and playful towards everyone, and seeing it always made him melt slightly.

Dylan let out a low whistle, which had Cyrus’ gaze snapping back to him.

“It’s bad, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Cyrus insisted, maybe a little too forcefully.

He turned back to his locker and continued to look around in his bag, despite having found the tape at this point. Dylan scoffed behind him.

“I was watching him back in that room,” he said.

Cyrus kept his gaze trained on his locker. “Creepy, but okay.”

Dylan chose to ignore the comment. “He seems pretty buddy-buddy with everyone. Don’t you think?”

Cyrus just bit his lip. He honestly didn’t know _why_ he was still entertaining this conversation.

He really did mean to say something like ‘So?’ but what ended up coming out was a confused ‘What do you mean?’

Cyrus didn’t turn around then, because he just _knew_ that Dylan would be wearing one of his smug _‘I’m getting to you’_ smiles. His hands stilled with their searching, and Cyrus knew it was probably obvious to Dylan that he had his full attention now.

“Nothing,” the boy said, his tone innocent. “I just thought it would upset you a bit more, you know, that your boyfriend clearly seems to love everyone.”

Cyrus whirled back around despite himself. “We’re not boyfriends! We’re just friends!”

Dylan raised an amused eyebrow. The shout seemed to have gotten TJ’s attention because his eyes had shifted to the pair now. Even from where they were stood, Cyrus could see the concern on TJ’s face and it made his heart melt into a puddle. He gave him a small wave and the most reassuring smile he could - the very _last_ thing he wanted was for TJ to walk up to them now.

“ _Close_ friends?” Dylan asked him, eyes shining with mirth, “because he seems to be friends with pretty much everyone.”

Cyrus opened his mouth to object, before quickly closing it again.

_Was he just another casual friend to TJ?_

He shook his head after a moment, ridding himself of the thought. TJ was a friendly person, that was all...just like Dylan had been.

Cyrus’ face visibly fell. For a moment, all that was heard in that corridor was rain as it pattered against the roof and the sounds of TJ’s banter with the tenth-grade boy. As the afternoon crept by, the sky had darkened significantly. It filled the building with a dreary kind of lighting that only seemed to add to the uneasy pit in Cyrus’ stomach.

“I’m glad to see you’re moving on with someone just like me anyway,” Dylan continued as though he hadn’t paused in the first place.

“He’s _not_ like you.”

The boy smiled. “Are you convincing yourself or me?”

Cyrus bit his lip and looked between the two boys for a moment. He had blocked the image of Dylan from his mind for a long time now, but now that the boy was standing in front of him he couldn’t help but admit they looked somewhat similar. Dylan’s hair was a lot darker, but he had the same deep green eyes. They were almost the exact same height wise, and a glance down at their clothes had Cyrus’ stomach sinking at how similar they both dressed.

 _This is ridiculous,_ he told himself. _They have a few similarities, sure, but their faces are completely different! And they’re completely different people!_

“You’re dreaming,” he told Dylan with a scoff.

“Am I?”

The words settled uncomfortably in the air for a moment. Cyrus refused to look Dylan in the eye as he responded.

“Yeah. You are. Now if you’ll excuse me I have some posters to put up.”

He turned around and walked away, determined not to spare Dylan another glance. He had no idea why the boy had decided to come back, but it _couldn’t_ be for good reasons.

“Try not to think about me too much when you look at him,” Dylan teased.

Cyrus’ heart stopped for a moment. The words hadn’t been overly loud, but somehow they seemed to echo in his ears like a shout. He pressed on regardless, trying to seem at least somewhat composed as he crossed the corridor.

TJ greeted him with a bright smile, but Cyrus could see that he was worried. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything - instead, he found himself walking straight into TJ’s arms and hugging him tightly. The boy stiffened slightly with shock, before melting right into it and wrapping his arms around Cyrus.

“You okay?” he asked in a whisper, which had tingles running down Cyrus’ spine.

“Yeah,” he responded, his voice small.

Both of them knew that wasn’t true, but TJ didn’t press for information - instead, he just pulled Cyrus closer to him and rested his chin gently on the boy’s head.

 

~

 

The following Saturday afternoon found Cyrus and TJ at their local mall buying milkshakes, browsing stores and laughing a _little_ too hard at each other’s jokes. The morning crowds were easing up, which gave them a bit more space as they wandered the varying levels. There were speckled white tiles, bright lights hanging from the largely raised ceiling and flashing store signs that had Cyrus feeling slightly overwhelmed.

“What about this one?” TJ asked him, striking a dramatic pose.

Cyrus could _definitely_ feel himself blushing at this point, but he was very much past the point of trying to hide it. TJ had seen a shirt sale going on at a cozy little clothing store, so naturally, that’s where they had ended up.

He gave the boy an enthusiastic nod. “It looks great!”

TJ lowered his arms with a laugh. “You’re saying that about all of these shirts, Cy.”

Cyrus bit his lip to contain a smile. “Well...I’m not lying,” he defended.

TJ let out a playful huff. He took a step forward then, and Cyrus’ heart skipped a beat. The change room area wasn’t particularly large at the store they were at, with there barely enough room for the leather couch they had pushed into the corner. The fact that there had been very little space between them in the first place wasn’t helping matters.

There they were, almost entirely alone at a clothing store with pastel coloured walls and fairy lights. Cyrus was practically backed up against a purple wall, with TJ standing right in front of him looking as though he was ready to lean in at any moment. It felt somewhat surreal, and Cyrus had to blink a few minutes to make sure he wasn’t imagining the other boy _this_ close to him. The only things either of them could hear at that moment were faint music and soft breathing. TJ bit his lip slightly and shifted, his eyes sweeping over Cyrus’ face as though he had never seen the boy fully before.

Cyrus eventually managed a teasing smile, taking the shirt TJ was holding by his side.

“I think,” he murmured, pressing the shirt into TJ’s chest, “you should try this one on.”

The response had been a somewhat impulsive one, and Cyrus couldn’t help but regret it slightly as he watched TJ smile knowingly and step back again, holding the shirt to his chest.

“Okay. I’ll be right back!”

Cyrus leaned back against the wall with a relieved sigh once TJ had entered the stall.

 

_Had TJ been about to kiss him?_

_More importantly_ \- _why did the idea of that terrify him so much? Why did he have an anxious pit in his stomach right now?_

 

He tried to brush the feeling off as best as he could, forcing a wide smile as TJ strutted back out and struck another pose. 

“Taa-daa!”

He was wearing a light pink shirt with a basketball on it, and Cyrus began smiling faintly despite himself.

“So what do you think?” TJ asked, doing a cute little twirl on the spot.

“You look good! I mean - you always do...”

TJ’s moments slowed then, his expression soft. He must’ve picked up on Cyrus’ sudden mood shift because he tipped his head to the side with a slight frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! It’s just...getting kinda hot in here.”

TJ pressed his lips together and nodded. Cyrus’ stomach dropped with guilt. He _desperately_ wished that he wasn’t so scared to talk about Dylan, but he knew it would only lead into the whole ‘are you gay?’ conversation, and for some reason, he wasn’t ready to face that with TJ. It would make the things he was feeling seem about ten times more real than he wanted - or _needed_ \- them to be.

TJ sighed, turning around to head back into the stall. “Let’s get out of here and get you some water, okay?”

“Wait! Um - you should get that one,” said Cyrus, gesturing to the shirt TJ was currently wearing.

The boy froze for a moment, before slowly turning back around with a faint smile.

“Why?”

Cyrus could _definitely_ feel his face heating up again. He wanted more than anything to just yell out ‘because you look _way_ too good to be allowed in pink!’ but that option really wasn’t in the cards right now.

“Pink suits you,” he explained instead.

TJ lingered there for a moment longer, before smiling slightly and shaking his head. “You’re going to be the death of me, Cyrus Goodman.”

Cyrus just raised a playful eyebrow, watching as the boy walked back into the stall and gently closed the door behind him. He took a few moments to just stand there, processing what exactly had just happened.

The realisation that his flirting with TJ could potentially become something more felt equivalent to the feeling of someone dumping an ice bucket over his head.

_That had never been in the plans._

Hell - it had never been in the plans to grow this _close_ to TJ either, but there they were anyway. Going clothes shopping together and almost kissing in changing rooms. Cyrus wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

“I have the best idea in the world!” TJ announced as he exited the stall, wearing his original plain white shirt.

Cyrus forced a smile into his face and pushed himself off of the wall. “And what would that be?”

“Chai lattés,” he said simply.

“That _is_ a good idea,” Cyrus agreed, moving forward to help him with the shirts, “and where do you suggest we get said chai lattés?”

TJ grinned teasingly as they began to hang them up. “I don’t know...can you think of any cool coffee places near us that do awesome chai lattés? That we totally don’t go to all the time?”

“Very funny,” Cyrus deadpanned, playfully swatting at him with a coat hanger, “so we’re going to the café then?”

TJ smiled. “Yeah. I was thinking we could get the lattés to go and then head down to the park?”

“That sounds nice,” he agreed.

TJ _did_ end up buying the light pink basketball shirt, which had Cyrus smiling smugly as they exited the store. As evening approached, the crowds continued to lessen and a few smaller stores were beginning to close up for the night. The darkening sky could be viewed through the glass roof above their heads.

They were passing a news agency when TJ suddenly stopped walking, his eyes fixated on a display of postcards. Cyrus looked between TJ and the postcards for a moment, confusion written all over his face.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Cat postcards!” was the only explanation TJ offered before rushing over to the display. Cyrus lingered there for a moment, a fond smile on his lips, before walking over too.

TJ was raiding the display of its cat postcards, while Cyrus just looked on in bewilderment.

“I’ve been collecting them since I was like 10,” explained TJ as he headed over to the counter.

Cyrus genuinely didn’t think there could be a way for TJ to melt his heart even more than he had already, but _cat postcards_? That had to be the most frustratingly adorable thing in the world. TJ thanked the cashier after a moment, and soon they were walking back out again.

“So you collect cat postcards?”

TJ smiled and nodded. “I have a few albums full of them.”

“...Why?” Cyrus couldn’t help but ask.

The boy just shrugged. “Cats are cool. Amber collects them too so it’s fun to go out together looking for them.”

Cyrus laughed slightly and shook his head, playfully bumping TJ’s shoulder as they walked.

“You’re so soft,” he teased.

TJ let out an annoyed huff. “Yeah? Well, you’re so...cute.”

Cyrus’ eyes widened slightly in alarm. After a few seconds of shock, he managed to recover with a playful smile.

“Wow. Words hurt, Teej.” 

TJ just rolled his eyes and smiled back at him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Cyrus couldn’t help but notice the action had become somewhat automatic now; he had gone from doing it occasionally to doing it every time they walked together.

_Did TJ having an arm around him usually make him feel so anxious?_

He brushed off the feeling again as they exited the mall, being met with a clear, orange-tinged sky. A pleasantly cool breeze washed over them as they made their way over to the bus stop, and the chirping of a few crickets filled the silence that had settled between them. Cyrus had always loved the atmosphere that came about during sunset, and this time was no exception. A glance over at TJ confirmed that the boy’s dirty blonde hair was tinged with orange, and his heart swooped at the sight.

By the time they had caught their bus and obtained chai lattés to go, the sun had well and truly set. The tension between them from earlier had mostly dissipated, although Cyrus could feel some lingering in the air around them.

The sky was pitch black when they arrived at the park, their hands brushing as they walked. They settled down on the swings, Cyrus remaining mostly still as he kicked about the wood chips beneath his feet.

“Do you still have my old basketball hoodie?” TJ asked him, looking over at the boy with a knowing smile.

Cyrus ducked his head guiltily. “Maybe.”

TJ just laughed though. “Keep it,” he said, “it looks cute on you, anyway.”

Cyrus couldn’t help but look over then, only to find that TJ already had his gaze on him. He could feel butterflies beginning to fill his stomach, so he hastily looked away again.

“I have a social justice club meeting on Tuesday,” Cyrus said with a sigh.

TJ paused for a moment, clearly confused. “You’re in a social justice club?”

“Yeah - the meetings are only starting up now.”

The boy turned this information over in his head for a moment, before asking “Is that a bad thing?”

Cyrus shook his head. “No! It’s just...we’re meeting a few representatives from the charity we’re raising funds for and I’m terrible with new people.”

TJ frowned slightly. You were fine with me.”

“Yeah, but that’s because...” Cyrus hesitated for a moment, looking bashfully over at TJ, “you’re you.”

Silence fell for a moment. Both boys could definitely feel the tension between them rising again, and the thought had Cyrus shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He reverted back to kicking about wood chips for a few moments.

“I’m not always confident, you know?” TJ said suddenly, standing up from his swing.

Cyrus’ eyebrows were furrowed with confusion now, but he hesitantly stood up anyway. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that...” TJ paused to take a deep breath, keeping his gaze firmly on Cyrus, “around  _you,_ I’m not. At least - I don’t feel confident, anyway.”

Cyrus’ heart skipped a beat. He had no idea how to respond, but to his luck, TJ pressed on before he had time to think about it.

“ _Usually_ it’s easy for me, but around you I just...melt. At first, it felt easier, but the more I hang out with you...”

Cyrus’ heart was beating away rapidly in his chest now. It was dark out, and they were alone, and he couldn’t help but think TJ was _confessing_ to him. The occasional few cars were still rushing by, but apart from that it was relatively quiet. A majority of the stores near them had closed down for the night.

TJ took another deep breath before continuing. “I guess what I’m trying to is that...I get nervous around you. Like - really nervous.

Cyrus bit his lip as the boy stepped closer. “Why?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

TJ let out a slight laugh. “Because I like you, Cy.”

The silence that followed those words was ridiculously tense.

Cyrus should’ve been ecstatic. He should’ve been beaming at the idea of TJ - this kind, cute boy who had been nothing but unconditionally supportive towards him, liking him in that way. He should’ve been stumbling his way through a confession, he should’ve been running up to him and hugging the life of him, he should’ve been looking up at him and hesitantly asking if this made them boyfriends.

He wasn’t doing any of those things though.

Because as he looked back at TJ, who had a sweet but nervous smile on his face, Cyrus was reminded of Dylan. He was reminded of standing outside Dylan’s house on that cool fall evening, hearing words from him about ‘melting’ whenever Cyrus was around. He was reminded of the smile that had been on Dylan’s lips, the apprehensive but determined look on his face, illuminated by the glow of a streetlamp. He was reminded of the fact that Dylan had been _such_ a supportive friend to him up until that point, that dating him had changed absolutely everything about their dynamic from that moment forth.

The very last thing Cyrus ever wanted to do was hurt TJ but as he watched the smile slowly slip from his face he knew he was doing just that.

 _Say something,_ he urged himself, unable to do anything but stare. _You’re making him worried._

It was as though his body had frozen from the pure stress of it all. His eyes beginning to sting slightly with tears as he looked at TJ - someone he hadn’t known for long but felt more comfortable with then he was willing to admit.

TJ’s eyebrows were furrowed now, his hair windswept in a way that usually would’ve had Cyrus smiling. As the cool evening breeze washed over them both, the tension in the air palpable, he could feel himself beginning to panic. It was a terrible feeling. It always was, but at that moment his emotions were such a confused jumble that it only seemed to worsen the tightness in his chest.

Eventually, he was able to force out two words and two words only.

“ _I’m sorry_ ,” he stammered, before turning and rushing away as fast as his legs would carry him. He _knew_ it was a bad move. He _knew_ TJ would be worried. He _knew_ that running away from his feelings was the worst thing he could possibly do for himself, but he couldn’t stop. H _e_ couldn’t stop until he was safe at home in his bed, with space to process all of the conflicting things he was feeling. He couldn’t stop until he was sure that TJ wasn’t following him, because seeing the boy at that moment would only add to his guilt. He couldn’t stop until his lungs were burning with every breath and his muscles were all aching - he deserved it for leaving TJ like that.

He only glanced over his shoulder for a split second, but it was enough time to register the completely shattered look on TJ’s face. His shoulders were slumped in defeat and his eyes were downcast - he made no attempt at all to follow, and a very small part of Cyrus couldn’t help but be disappointed.

Cyrus only allowed himself to break down once he had finally reached his darkened room. He took a moment to kick off his shoes, his eyes filled to the brim with tears, before collapsing down onto his bed in an exhausted heap.

His friends had all been right. He _should ’ve_ just kept Dylan blocked, and he found himself repeatedly cursing the fact that he hadn’t. _Now_ the boy had found his way into Cyrus’ head again, and he had no idea how to get him out. A week ago he had been able to scoff at Dylan’s words, to brush them off, but it all seemed to hit him in one big rush of panic when TJ had confessed. Somehow it had made all of Cyrus’ fears seem _plausible_ , and he hadn’t even fully realised how much he had been impacted by that conversation with Dylan until now.

Dylan _was_ an awful lot like TJ, and the very idea of that had his heart sinking in his chest. There was a worrisome amount of similarities between them, from the way that they charmed everyone they met to the way they had both confessed their feelings.

But did that make _TJ_ Dylan? Just because they had similarities? Would he even be _capable_ of half the things Dylan had done?

He had certainly never thought that Dylan would change the way he did, from an unconditionally supportive friend to a manipulative liar of a boyfriend. Who says that couldn’t happen again?

Cyrus forcefully brought a pillow over his head, groaning in frustration. His head was beginning to hurt, and he wanted nothing more than to pretend that night with TJ had never happened. That he _hadn’t_ run away like a total coward.

He eventually managed to fall into a restless sleep, feeling no less confused about all of the thoughts in his head.


	9. Flipping a coin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andi and Buffy help Cyrus put some things into perspective. Cyrus struggles to voice his feelings. TJ invites the GHC to his dance studio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for the longer wait on this one guys, last week was my final school week so I was busy as heck.
> 
> Thank you to the lovely Micah as always (@bezlque on tumblr) for editing this chapter!!

Cyrus hated making people worry about him.

It brought him back to a time where Buffy and Andi’s faces were constantly stricken with concern, where they were constantly messaging him to ask where he was, whether he was with Dylan, whether he was okay. He knew it all came from a place of love, but eventually it began to make him feel like something that could break at any moment. Something that had to be monitored in case it ever broke down.

He would much rather listen to other people’s problems than admit to his own, and it had been this way for as long as he could remember. It was what had earnt him his ‘therapist friend’ branding in the first place, and it was why he always tended to deflect.

Maybe that was why his heart sank the way it did when the concerned eyes of his parents fell on him the following day. His dad and step-mom were the only ones home, and they were perched on the edge of the couch as though neither of them was fully comfortable. 

“Hey hun,” said his step-mom, her voice slightly strained.

Cyrus glanced about the room for a moment, feeling somewhat like a cornered animal despite there being multiple ways he could escape.

“Uh - hey.”

His voice sounded scratchy even to his own hears. He supposed that crying for hours did that to a person.

The tension in the room was palpable. His dad uncrossed his legs, only to recross them a moment later and glance briefly over at Cyrus’ step-mom.

“We heard you up there,” he said suddenly.

Cyrus smiled slightly despite himself. For a pair of therapists, his dad and step-mom sure seemed to struggle with addressing more emotional matters with him. He really didn’t mind though; he could comfortably say that they had been nothing but understanding and supportive of him.

“Okay...” he trailed off.

They swapped a glance that Cyrus couldn’t decipher.

“And we’d just thought we’d let you know that we’re here for you. No matter what. You know that right?”

“I do,” he nodded, pausing for a moment to take a deep breath. “...Thanks.”

Silence fell for a moment, with the soft humming of their fridge being the only thing to fill it. Cyrus averted his gaze towards the ground, nervously lacing his fingers together.

“Can I go out?” he asked quietly.

Usually, the question was received with a teasing smile and a ‘wow, Cyrus Goodman wants to go out?’, but this time his dad seemed hesitant.

“Where to?”

Cyrus shrugged, not even fully sure himself. “Just for a walk around the neighbourhood.”

His step-mom looked to his dad, who had clear conflict written all over his face. After a few more moments of silence, he caved with a small nod. “Sure. Just...Message us every hour or so and let us know where you are, okay?”

“And bring some water!” his step-mom added.

A relieved smile came to Cyrus’ lips. He rushed over to the fridge and pulled out a water bottle, before grabbing a coat and heading for the front door.

“I’ll be back soon!” he called out.

“Okay!” came his dad’s slightly muffled response.

Cyrus stepped out into the cool evening air, welcoming it after having been holed up in his bedroom for the better part of that day. The breeze ruffled his hair, misplacing strands as he began to walk down the street. For the first time since his ‘almost’ kiss with TJ, Cyrus felt somewhat at ease as he gazed up at the sky. It was dark out and there were a few darker clouds looming overhead, hinting at possible rainfall later on. Where the sky wasn’t covered, a few bright stars were beginning to appear. Looking up like this always seemed to help him put things into perspective; even if it was just for a fleeting moment.

He hadn’t fully registered what route his legs were carrying him along until he reached the park, and dread began to set in as he observed the place TJ had been left standing the night before. His line of thought began to enter dangerous territory as he fondly remembered how bright TJ’s smile had been when he saw those cat postcards at the mall.

_Not now, Cyrus. Not now._

Was this fixable? Would TJ be able to brush off the rejection and continue being friends with him?

Cyrus wandered over to the swings and sat down, not even fully aware of his actions. It had seemed so automatic, but he was regretting now as he looked over at the empty swing next to him, swaying slightly in the breeze.

Did he _want_ to continue being friends with TJ? Or did he want something more?

He shook his head slightly to rid himself of the thought. The whole point of this walk had been to _forget_ about the situation for an hour or two.

He began kicking at wood chips absent-mindedly, grabbing his tangled earphones from his pocket. A sharp ding sounded from his phone just as he was almost done untangling, ringing out across the park and making him wince.

 

 **Buffy:** Cyrus, is there something going on?

 **Buffy:** Lmk if you’re safe <3

 

His phone went off again a moment later, and he hastily switched it to silent to avoid any further noise.

 

 **Andi:** Hey Cy, are you okay? You haven’t responded to any of my texts. I’m here if you need!!

 

Cyrus put his phone down on his lap with a heavy sigh. Ever since Dylan, Andi and Buffy had been about ten times wearier when it came to him not responding. It was sweet, but he would be lying if he said it wasn’t suffocating sometimes.

It seemed as though the pair were together anyway, so after a minute or so he decided to send a text to their group chat.

 

 **Cyrus:** Hey guys! I’m fine. Sorta. Just dealing with some stuff :)

 **Andi:** Wanna come over? We have netflix and ice cream here!

 **Cyrus:** Netflix and ice cream? Oh man that’s tempting... who’s place are you guys at?

 **Buffy:** Mine!

 

Cyrus thought about it for a moment. He had spent the majority of his Sunday wallowing in his room by himself and that had only served to make him feel _worse_ about everything. Maybe a bit of human interaction would do him some good.

 

 **Cyrus:** Okay, I’ll ask dad! Isn’t it a school night though?

 **Andi:** Nope. Long weekend, remember?

 **Cyrus:** Omgg true

 **Cyrus:** Okay, I’ll be over asap <3

 

He put his phone back down and took a few more minutes to appreciate the sky, which was gradually being blanketed by dark grey clouds. Eventually, when Cyrus couldn’t see a single star in the sky, he took a deep breath and stood up from his swing. The only thing that illuminated the park was a nearby streetlamp, and even that didn’t do much to shine through the pitch black. Everything around Cyrus was beginning to feel chaotic, so he was only happy to send his dad a quick message and begin making his way back over to the sidewalk.

The walk felt a lot shorter than it probably was; he had found himself slightly preoccupied with deciding how on _earth_ he was going to explain this mess to his friends.

He wasn’t even fully sure by the time he reached Buffy’s porch, his clothes pretty much soaked through with rain and his cheeks tinged red from the harsh wind. He generally wasn’t one to wing things, but as he was ushered into Buffy’s warmly lit living room he couldn’t help but think he’d have no choice.

“Are you guys home alone?” was the first thing that left his mouth upon entering.

Andi was perched on one of the couches, an amused look on her face. “Well hello to you too.”

“Oh right - hello,” he backtracked with a sheepish smile.

Buffy swooped in a moment later with a towel and threw it over his shoulders. She pulled him into a hug after that, which Cyrus smiling faintly despite himself.

“Why did you walk here?” she mumbled, her voice heavy with implication.

All Cyrus could bring himself to do was shrug and lean further into the hug. Despite the reputation Buffy may have had at school, she really _did_ give the best hugs. It was a very warm (and welcome) contrast to his cold bed covers.

“I thought some fresh air would be nice,” he mumbled back after a moment.

“You definitely got that,” she said with a huffed laugh.

When they finally pulled away, Buffy gave him a smile and nodded her head in the direction of her room.

“You can go get changed if you want. Sorry about the cropped sweater - they kinda make up about 90% of my wardrobe.”

Cyrus couldn’t help his fond smile. “I’ll live,” he told her. 

Buffy’s room was slightly larger than his own, with colourful boxes on her desk filled to the brim with Andi’s bracelets. There were three flags hung up above her wardrobe - a bi pride one, a gay pride one and a pan pride one - and they never failed in bringing a smile to his face. There was a purple basketball sat in the corner of the room, and homework neatly stacked right next to it. Everything about that was so _Buffy_ he couldn’t help smile again.

Cyrus hadn’t expected to be wearing pale pink sweatpants and a black cropped sweater that evening, but he certainly wasn’t opposed to the way it ended up looking on him.

He strutted back out into the living room, which earnt him a few giggles from Andi and an amused smile from Buffy.

“You know what we need?” asked Andi, wandering over to him.

“Junk food?”

“That too,” she conceded, “but we _also_ need makeovers!”

Cyrus smiled and looked past the girl at Buffy, who gave him a small shrug in response.

“I guess some makeovers wouldn’t hurt,” he agreed, watching in amusement as Andi’s face lit up with excitement.

“Okay! I’ll be right back,” was the last thing she said before rushing into the hallway.

Cyrus gave Buffy a puzzled look.

“She brought a makeover kit yesterday and she _really_ wants to use it,” she explained, smiling slightly.

“Ah,” he nodded.

They ended up sat on the couch together, with a tall lamp right next to them bathing the room in a warm glow. Buffy had a fluffy blanket covering her legs, and she kept sending him uncertain glances. This was the _only_ sort of thing Cyrus had ever seen Buffy hesitant to address, and that fact was uncomfortable in itself.

“So,” she began, clearing her throat, “how was yesterday?”

Cyrus averted his gaze to his hands, which were interlaced nervously on his lap.

“I’ve had better days,” he settled on saying.

The girl nodded and opened her mouth to respond, but Andi bounded back into the room before she could.

Clearly having noticed the hesitant expressions on both of her faces, she slowed to a stop and frowned slightly. “Are we doing it now then?”

“Doing _what_ now then?” Cyrus inquired.

Buffy looked between both of them for a moment, clearly thinking.

“Andi and I were thinking maybe we should...you know...talk about your feelings,” she said with a small smile.

“Ah, yes - my favourite thing to do.”

The girls exchanged an amused glance at that. Andi walked over to the couch with her purple handbag and squeezed into the spot between them.

“I have an idea,” she said. “I’ll give Cyrus a makeover while he talks about what’s been happening with Dy- um...life.”

Cyrus swore his heart stopped for a moment. He turned to Andi in alarm, who clearly seemed to have realised her mistake because she had a wince on her face.

“You guys know?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“We didn’t,” Buffy assured him, “we just assumed. You’ve been acting a lot like...”

“I used to,” Cyrus finished with a sigh, sinking down in his seat.

A tense silence blanketed the trio for a moment. Andi absent-mindedly began rummaging through her bag. Rain continued to patter against the roof, accompanied now by the howling wind.

Cyrus knew it would only be a matter of time before Andi and Buffy figured out what was going on, but the revelation had still hit him somewhat like a truck. He took a few more moments to think over everything in his head, before sighing again.

“Okay,” he conceded with a nod, “makeover and truth time.”

Andi and Buffy looked somewhat shocked by the words, but they were quick to nod and reposition themselves.

Andi was perched in front of Cyrus, while Buffy was by his side, leaning into him.

Once Cyrus had started talking, he couldn’t stop. He told them about how he hadn’t actually blocked Dylan, about all of the messages, about what had happened last Monday while they had been helping out with prom, about TJ’s confession, about his overall confusion in regards to his feelings. Buffy didn’t interrupt, although at some points it looked as though she wanted to. Andi moved from doing his nails to doing his make-up, nodding along sympathetically.

By the time he had finished talking, his nails were painted black, his face was covered with primer and there were a few dots of concealer scattered across it.

Buffy took a few long moments to turn all of the information over in her head.

“So...you like TJ?”

Cyrus let out a somewhat hysterical sounding laugh. “I don’t know! I mean - maybe? I just - _ugh_.”

Andi paused with her makeup applying to give him a sympathetic smile.

“And this all hit you yesterday when TJ told you he liked you?”

Cyrus sighed heavily and nodded. “Yeah,” he said, pausing for a brief moment. “He was about to kiss me and I was thinking about _Dylan._ Why would my brain do that to me?”

“Because your brain is mean and it doesn’t want you to move on,” said Buffy, firmer now.

Andi nodded in agreement and put down the eyeshadow palette she was holding in favour of sitting on Cyrus’ other side.

“Maybe. I just don’t want to be played again by another...you know...player.”

Buffy took his hands in hers. “Cyrus. TJ is _not_ Dylan. If you do decide to give him a chance, he won’t be how Dylan was.”

“How do you know that?” Cyrus asked, his voice small.

Buffy looked past him at Andi, her expression knowing. She hesitated for a moment after that, clearly searching for the right words.

Andi spoke before she had to.

“I know he seems like Dylan, but Cyrus - Dylan _never_ looked at you the way TJ does.”

Cyrus could feel butterflies starting up in his stomach now. “How does TJ look at me?” he asked.

“Kind of like you’re the only person in the whole world that matters,” said Buffy with a slight smile.

Cyrus sank back down in his seat, processing the words for a moment.

“I just...what Dylan said-“

“That’s what people like Dylan do though,” Buffy interrupted. “They cut you off from all the people in your life until you feel like you have no one but them to turn to.”

Cyrus just sat there looking stunned for a moment, not quite sure what to say.

“But it’s not true,” she continued, her voice softer now, “you have us, you have Marty, _and_ you have TJ.”

“I’m really not sure if I do anymore after last night,” said Cyrus, lowering his gaze to his hands again.

Andi had a slight frown on her face. “You know he’ll forgive you for that, right?”

Cyrus fell silent at that, which seemed to tell her what she needed to know because her frown deepened.

“I don’t know, guys,” he said with a sigh, “I was fine with the flirting, but now everything just seems real. Like - he wants to _kiss_ me real. And my brain is trying to push me toward him but it’s also trying to pull me away and I just - don’t know what I want anymore.”

Andi nodded slowly, before abruptly standing up from the couch. “You know what? I have an idea.”

She walked out of the living room then, which left Cyrus and Buffy to exchange a confused look.

“Any idea what she’s doing?” he asked quietly.

“None at all,” came the amused response.

The girl returned a few moments later and sat back down, smiling brightly at the pair. She was holding a coin, and Cyrus found himself feeling even more confused.

“We’re playing heads or tails!” she announced.

Buffy laughed slightly. “And why would we be doing that?”

“Why not,” Andi responded with a shrug, before directing her gaze to Cyrus.

“If it’s heads, then you listen to the part of your brain trying to pull you away from TJ. If it’s tails, then you listen to the part of your brain pushing you towards TJ. Got it?”

Cyrus looked over to Buffy in total bewilderment, but she didn’t seem to find the idea as strange as he did.

“Andi-“ he began, laughing slightly, but the girl just gave him a stern look.

“...Okay fine,” he relented after a moment.

Andi smiled and tossed the coin up into the air, catching it and flipping it over onto her hand. Cyrus would be lying if he said he wasn’t holding his breath as he looked over at what it was.

 

_Heads._

 

Cyrus felt his face fall at that, his shoulders slumped as he leaned back against the couch.

“Oh.”

Andi just smiled wide and shook her head though.

“Cyrus - you don’t look at what the coin says, you look at your reaction! You _want_ to listen to the part of your brain that’s pushing you towards TJ, but Dylan is an asshole and he’s trying to make you think the opposite!”

A slow smile spread across Cyrus’ face at that. He looked over at Buffy, who seemed equally impressed.

“Andi Mack, have I ever told you how wonderful you are?” he asked seriously.

The girl grinned. “A few times. Can I do the rest of your makeup now?”

“Absolutely,” he responded, leaning over to give her a quick hug.

“Oh - and we _definitely_ need a photo of you wearing that cropped sweater for Instagram,” Buffy added.

They all laughed at that, and Cyrus found himself feeling more at ease than he had at any point during that whole week. Buffy and Andi really _were_ the best friends he ever could’ve asked for.

 

~

 

Cyrus wasn’t proud of it by any means, but over the next week or so he didn’t respond to any of TJ’s texts.  

At first, he had been anxious about giving a late response, about addressing the whole situation with Dylan, about the possibility of having to inadvertently come out to TJ by explaining everything. Eventually, it was because he was terrified of having to face any sort of anger from the boy, and he knew that was pretty much inevitable. He’d made a royal mess of things, and he honestly had no clue how to go about fixing it. So Cyrus did what he did best - he avoided the situation.

He avoided TJ.

He avoided his calls.

He avoided his texts.

He avoided his friends.

He knew it was a bad way of handlings things - Buffy had enlightened him of this multiple times over the past week, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop once he had started.

Saturday was a day like any other. He completed his homework, he baked some muffins, he tried not to think about TJ, he tried not to think about TJ, he tried not to - okay, so maybe he hadn’t exactly been successful so far. He blamed TJ entirely for being so...him.

When his doorbell rang that afternoon, he reluctantly got up from his couch and wandered over to the door, his hair sticking up in all directions as he casually threw it open.

“You guys could’ve just-“

 

Oh.

_Oh._

 

“texted me,” he finished flatly, his eyes wide.

The corners of TJ’s lips tugged up slightly in an amused smile, but it flickered almost immediately and faded after a moment or two. He was stood on Cyrus’ porch somewhat sheepishly, his hands interlaced in front of him and his eyes downcast. There was a dreary sky above their heads that had been lingering there since that morning.

Cyrus’ heart was racing in his chest as he stood there, opening and closing his mouth like an idiot, wondering if his hair looked as bad as he thought it did. His eyes subconsciously began roaming TJ’s face, taking in every single detail he had tried not to think about over the past week.

“Hi,” said Cyrus, his voice much higher than he would’ve liked.

The boy smiled again. “Hi.”

They remained like that for a moment. Cyrus shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

“What brings you here?” he asked, and the question sounded so _stupid_ he almost wanted to facepalm.

“Oh - right. Sorry, I um, know you probably don’t want me here or just...anywhere near you, but um-“

“I do though!”

TJ seemed genuinely shocked by the words. Cyrus’ heart sank at the realisation that he had made the kindest, most unapologetic boy in the world doubt himself.

“That’s funny because you kinda ran away from me. _And_ you stopped responding to all of my texts.”

Cyrus winced. He didn’t know how to explain himself, and TJ seemed to realise this because he let out a heavy sigh.

“It’s whatever...that’s not why I’m here anyway.”

“Oh. Then...why are you here?”

“I was um...I was kind of....” TJ trailed off nervously and bit his lip. “You know what? Nevermind-“

He turned around to walk away, which made Cyrus panic and grab his hand before he could.

“TJ - wait. What is it?”

It was cold out and goosebumps were beginning to rise along Cyrus’ skin, but that was the last thing he was thinking about at that moment.

The boy slowly turned back around, looking nervously down at Cyrus’ hand in his. He dropped TJ’s hand after a moment, blushing slightly.

“I was going to ask if you, Buffy and Andi wanted to come around to my dance studio tomorrow. Amber, Marty, Natalie and I are gonna be practising there,” he explained quietly, still looking down.

Cyrus’ heart skipped a beat.

“You...want me to be there?” he asked hesitantly.

TJ just smiled and shook his head as though it was obvious. “Of course I do.”

“Oh.”

Cyrus could _definitely_ feel his face growing red now.

“Cyrus,” TJ began with a laugh. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t like me back. You’re still a really good friend.”

For some reason, Cyrus felt his heart shatter slightly at the words, but he forced a smile onto his lips anyway.

“We’ll be there,” he settled on saying, his voice strained.

TJ didn’t seem to notice though because he smiled wide. “Great. I’ll text you the address tonight.”

All Cyrus could bring himself to do was give a quick nod. “Yeah...cool.”

He continued to stand there dejectedly as TJ walked away, a horrible pit in his stomach.

“I do like you though,” he whispered to no one in particular, feeling stupid for not just walking back inside and closing the door.

TJ was out of sight after about a minute, so Cyrus slowly turned back around and stepped inside, sliding down against the door and burying his face in his hands.

 

_What had he done?_

 

_~_

 

 **Cyrus:** Hey! Would I be able to bring another friend today?

 **TJ:** Sure :)

 

Cyrus hadn’t thought twice about inviting Iris along with them upon discovering that Natalie would be there. He knew Amber and Andi would be all over one another, and he didn’t exactly want to be sitting alone the whole time because his full attention would definitely be on TJ then. And people would definitely notice.

Andi was in the front seat holding a pocket-sized mirror and attempting to wipe away any of her lipstick smudges, while Buffy was looking between Cyrus and Iris pointedly as though trying to say something. Cyrus just couldn’t tell what.

“Why’d you invite her?” she mumbled to him.

Cyrus gave her a puzzled look. “Why not?”

Buffy stared at him for a moment as if silently asking him ‘really?’ before turning back to her phone. Cyrus decided to brush it off; they were friends after all, why wouldn’t he want to invite Iris?

After a few days of rain, it was nice to look out the car window and see a clear blue sky. The breeze outside hadn’t been particularly cold, which meant they could all break out a few things from their spring wardrobe (it definitely wasn’t hot enough for their summer one.) Buffy was wearing the same black cropped sweater that Cyrus had worn briefly, which he couldn’t help but smile at.

“Okay Bex, this is it,” said Andi, pocketing her mirror.

Cyrus’ eyes fell on a modern looking building, that looked like it had about two stories. A large lit-up sign out front reading ‘Salt Lake Dance’ and the parking lot outside seemed relatively empty. Cyrus supposed Sunday afternoon wasn’t a particularly popular time.

“Okay kiddos, have fun! I’ll be back at around 7.”

Andi rolled her eyes at that, but she leaned over to give Bex a quick hug anyway.

They all stepped out into the warm afternoon air, Buffy lingering by Cyrus’ side as though she still wanted to tell him something.

“Think you’ll be okay in there?” she asked him.

“After yesterday?” he said with a laugh. “Definitely not.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow at him, which had him smiling slightly as they began to make their way over to the front entrance.

“I’ll be fine. It’s just a cute boy, right? A cute, funny, history-loving boy who’s good at dancing and who likes shopping at antique stores and oh _god_ Buffy, what’s happening to me?”

The girl laughed and wrapped a supportive arm around his shoulders as they walked in through the glass double doors.

“Love,” she teased, earning herself a glare.

Buffy approached the front desk and signed them all in as guests - at least - that’s what Cyrus thought she did, he was honestly preoccupied with taking in everything around him. It wasn’t a typical dance studio by any means, with painted black walls and pink neon lights everywhere. Or maybe it _was_ typical. Cyrus certainly wasn’t knowledgeable about different types of dance studies.

“Okay Cy, I know the lights are pretty and all but we’re kinda leaving now,” Iris teased, linking his arm with hers.

Cyrus couldn’t help but smile as he looked over at the girl. “Ready to watch Natalie perform?”

Iris just rolled her eyes. “Ready to watch TJ perform?”

“Short answer - no,” said Cyrus with a slight wince.

He had informed Iris of pretty much everything that had happened the night before to avoid any awkward situations, but he was honestly beginning to think there was nothing he could do to avoid the tension he had with TJ at the moment.

“That’s fair...but you’ll have me!” she said.

Cyrus smiled. “Yeah. That’s true.”

Buffy and Andi came to a stop in front of them, and Cyrus felt his heart leap into his throat as Buffy turned to face a large black door.

“This is it,” she said, sending him a sympathetic glance.

Cyrus laughed nervously. “I’m guessing it’s probably too late to back out now, isn’t it?”

Andi shook her head and walked over to him, gently taking his hand. “If you really wanted to, then it’s not too late.”

Cyrus stood there for a moment, his mind reeling, before taking a deep breath.

“I’ll be fine. It’s just a boy!”

“It is,” Andi encouraged, shooting Buffy an amused glance.

She dropped Cyrus’ hand and moved forward to push open the door, holding it open for the other three as they stepped inside.

The room wasn’t much different to the rest of the building overall, with it’s black painted walls, it’s pink neon lights and it’s high-rise ceiling. One wall, however, had panels of mirrors, and the hardwood floor beneath them was _ridiculously_ shiny.

Cyrus immediately spotted TJ standing with Natalie as they animatedly discussed something he couldn’t make out. Buffy sent both Cyrus and Iris a knowing glance as they walked over. Marty was sitting on one of the chairs next to Amber, and when Cyrus’ eyes landed on him his heart sank.

 

_He hadn’t been responding to Marty either._

 

TJ and Natalie whirled around immediately upon hearing their footsteps.

TJ’s face lit up with a smile as he approached Cyrus, holding out a hand for a bro-hug.

Is this what they’ve been reduced to? _Bro-hugs?_

Despite the sad pang that Cyrus felt in his chest, he forced a smile onto his lips and took TJ’s hand. The taller boy wasn’t exactly in a hurry to drop his hand once they had hugged, and it had Cyrus’ heart fluttering as they looked at one another.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

TJ smiled hesitantly. “Hey. I’m uh - glad you came.”

Cyrus returned the smile, despite the guilt he could feel clawing at his insides. He dropped TJ’s hand, painfully aware of the fact that hand-holding used to be a casual thing for them before this whole mess.

“So, do you have any Ariana Grande lined up?” Cyrus teased as they walked over to the rest of the group.

“You know it,” came the equally teasing response.

 

_Oh man. Cyrus missed this. A lot._

 

Marty stood up the moment he saw Cyrus approaching, and he braced himself for an angry outburst of some kind.

It never came.

In fact - all Marty did was pull him into a tight hug.

“You okay?” he asked him, and Cyrus felt his heart melt into a puddle.

Thinking about it now, both TJ and Marty were some of the most forgiving people he knew, and somehow that managed to make him feel even _more_ guilty.

“Yeah,” he smiled as they separated again. “You?”

“I’m okay,” Marty shrugged.

Cyrus shifted hesitantly from one foot to the other. “That Liam thing...”

“It hasn’t really changed,” the boy responded with a sigh. “But it’s okay. I’m getting used to being...out.”

For some reason, Cyrus‘ throat began to close up at the words. Tears were pricking his eyes, and it all came so suddenly he had to look away to avoid embarrassing himself.

 

_He hadn’t been there for Marty. All because he was trying to avoid TJ._

 

“I’m so sorry,” he managed, shaking his head and pulling the boy back into a hug.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” Marty assured him, wrapping his arms and him and rubbing circles onto his back.

“I’ll never do it again,” Cyrus mumbled, his voice muffled slightly by Marty’s hoodie.

The others had moved to a different corner of the room by now, most likely to give the two some space, and Cyrus couldn’t have been more grateful.

There was concern written all over Marty’s face as he drew back again, clearly noticing the tears that were threatening to fall down Cyrus’ cheeks.

“Cyrus...is there something you wanna tell me?”

Cyrus fell silent for a few long moments.

“Um...kind of, actually,” he stammered.

Marty nodded slowly, sending the others a conscious glance. “Would you prefer now or another time?” he asked gently.

“Maybe another time,” Cyrus mumbled, averting his gaze to the ground.

“That’s fine. Think you’ll be okay for today?”

Cyrus couldn’t help but think it was a very valid question. There tears beginning to roll down his face now, and he couldn’t imagine that puffy red eyes would be a very good look.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. Are there bathrooms around here by any chance?”

Marty smiled and nodded. “There are. Want me to show you?”

“Yes please,” Cyrus breathed out.

Marty jogged over to Buffy and exchanged a few words with her. She frowned and looked past the boy at Cyrus for a brief moment, biting her lip as though she was tempted to walk over. TJ was right by her side, sending Cyrus the same worried glances.

He greeted Marty with a faint smile as he jogged back over to him.

“Let’s go,” he said, wrapping an arm around Cyrus’ shoulders.

He could feel TJ’s eyes on them as they left the room, which only served to intensify the nervous butterflies that were currently fluttering around in his stomach.

Even the bathroom looked similar to the rest of the building - there was a pink neon light above the mirror, and the stall walls were all painted black.

He spent a few minutes in front of the mirror fixing his hair and splashing cold water on his face, trying his best to get rid of any visible tear streaks. Marty was stood by his side, a sympathetic smile on his face.

“You look fine, I promise,” he said.

Cyrus sighed heavily and nodded. “Thanks. I just don’t wanna dampen anyone’s mood. Especially TJ’s...”

“Nothing could dampen TJ’s mood when Ariana Grande is playing,” Marty joked.

“Okay - that’s true,” Cyrus conceded with a fond smile.

Marty averted his gaze then, biting his lip as though he wanted to say something more. Cyrus gave him a puzzled look but decided against asking about it.

The bathroom was a quiet contrast to the bustling room they had been minutes earlier, and Cyrus honestly wasn’t sure if he was ready to face the music again (quite literally.)

Seeing TJ’s face alone was enough to create a guilty pit in his stomach, and it downright _sucked_ because Cyrus was so used to feeling nothing but comfortable around the boy.

“I think we should probably head back,” he said, somewhat reluctantly.

Marty nodded in agreement, and soon enough they were standing outside the room again. He gave him one last questioning look, which Cyrus just answered with a smile and a shrug.

Cyrus really shouldn’t have been surprised to hear ‘into you’ by Ariana Grande blasting from a portable speaker upon entering. He winced slightly at how loud his footsteps were against the hardwood floor, garnering the attention of pretty much everyone right away.

TJ’s movements slowed right away, his gaze curious as he looked over at the pair. Marty just smiled and walked over to them.

“Started without me I see,” he teased, which earned him a playful shove from TJ.

Grateful for the distraction, Cyrus moved over to where Iris was sat beside Amber (who had Andi sitting on her lap.)

He gave the pair an alarmed look as he sat down, but they didn’t seem to be fazed at all so he could only assume they were out to everyone in the room.

The dancing turned into a competition somewhat at one point, with Buffy and Natalie constantly trying to one-up Marty and TJ and vice versa. Cyrus couldn’t help but notice that the banter between Marty and Buffy had officially lost all of its heat, and eventually, it got to the point where the pair were just downright _flirting_ with one another.

“Buffy Driscoll, did you just try to trip me up?” Marty gasped, twirling gracefully around the girl.

Buffy laughed, spinning around with him, and Cyrus gasped as he watched her twirl a strand of hair around her finger.

“So what if I did, Marty from the dance party?”

“Hey - you promised you’d never speak of that again!” Marty spluttered, smiling wide when the girl just laughed again.

Cyrus leaned over to Iris, unable to contain a smile of his own. “Are you seeing this right now?”

“I am,” she nodded. “And speaking of flirting...”

The girl pointedly nodded her head in TJ’s direction, and Cyrus’ heart skipped a beat as he looked over. TJ had barely been trying to hide the fact that he was looking at him, but as soon as Cyrus’ gaze had met his he shook his head and turned away again.

“He’s so into you,” Iris whispered.

“I think we’ve kinda established that already,” Cyrus responded with a laugh.

“So go up to him! Tell him he’s cute and kind and funny and a beam of sunshine and - what else have you said about him? I’ve lost track at this point,” she said.

Cyrus just rolled his eyes, smiling slightly as he gave the girl a playful shove.

Over the next hour or so, Buffy kept shooting him pointed glances that he honestly had no clue how to interpret, and could only respond to by shrugging. It was becoming more and more apparent that TJ was struggling to concentrate on his movements, and at one point he nearly tripped over his own feet. Cyrus frowned at that, giving both Andi and Amber a worried look. He had never seen TJ _this_ off his game, and his heart sank at the possibility that it was because _he_ was there.

At one point Iris declared that she was tired and leaned over to rest her head on Cyrus’ shoulder. He pulled her in with a smile, and Buffy shot him a warning look.

“I um - I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick guys. I’ll be back,” TJ declared suddenly, rushing toward the door before anyone could say anything.

Cyrus looked after him in confusion, and Buffy looked as though she was on the verge of face-palming.

“Cyrus,” she whispered, her tone exasperated as he approached the boy.

“Yeah?”

“It looked like Iris and you were flirting!”

Cyrus’ eyebrows furrowed at that. “We weren’t though. Iris was teasing me about...oh.”

“Yeah. _Oh_ ,” said Buffy.

Iris’ face fell, and she opened her mouth to say something, but Cyrus had already stood up.

“I’ll be right back guys!” he announced, before rushing toward the door in a very similar way to TJ.

Cyrus made his way down the hall, his hurried footsteps echoing slightly and his heart racing in his chest as he reached the bathroom door. He didn’t do anything to prepare himself, even though he probably should’ve - he just walked straight in without a second thought.

TJ was leaning up against the sink, his head bowed, and Cyrus felt his face fall.

“TJ?”

No response. The word settled uncomfortably in the air around them, blanketing them in a tension that had Cyrus shifting uncomfortably.

He swallowed thickly and took a hesitant step forward. “I’m sorry,” he stammered.

TJ hesitated for a moment. “What for?” he asked quietly, still not turning around.

“...I don’t know,” said Cyrus, nervously biting his lip, “I just...feel like you were messing up because of me.”

Silence fell again. Cyrus let out a heavy sigh.

“Okay - I’m sorry for not responding to your texts. I’m sorry for running away from you. I’m sorry if I made you worried. I’m sorry I’ve been acting so weird lately. You just mean a lot to me and I was afraid of messing things up between us because...I like how it is now. That probably doesn’t make up for it. I’m just sorry.”

TJ’s tense shoulders visibly relaxed at that. He slowly turned around, his expression soft, and Cyrus felt another guilty pang in his chest.

“You mean a lot to me too,” he whispered, the corners of lips twitching up the slightest amount.

Cyrus hesitantly opened his arms, and TJ gladly walked into them. He could barely put into words how much he had missed hugging TJ, and now that he was again he never wanted to let go.

He knew he still wasn’t being entirely truthful. He knew there were still a lot of things TJ didn’t know. He knew this didn’t make everything right between them, but he couldn’t bring himself to care when they were wrapped up together like this.


	10. The dancer guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus comes clean to Marty. TJ is confused about where they stand. Cyrus has a talk with his dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedication to Smriti (@green-lemonboys) for a) messaging me to write this chapter and b) being an overall sweetheart!!

Cyrus felt infuriatingly restless over the next week, looking out the window during class, not being able to keep his mind focused on one thing. Well. Unless that thing happened to be TJ Kippen. His brain had no problem with making his thoughts wander almost constantly to _him_.

He hadn’t exchanged a single text with TJ in a few days now, and he was terrified that he had been caught in all of his lies somehow. That TJ had found out about all the things Cyrus was keeping from him. The thought made him feel sick to the stomach whenever it appeared in his head, which was why he so desperately tried to distract himself with schoolwork and baking and _anything_ that didn’t involve green eyes and bright smiles and - yeah. He wasn’t exactly having an easy time. He was well aware that the normal way to go about a situation like this would’ve been to just reach out and _ask_ TJ if things were okay between them, but the thought just stressed Cyrus out. Doing so would only mean that if TJ wasn’t already aware that Cyrus was hiding things from him, he _definitely_ would be.

Despite not having the nerve to initiate a text conversation with TJ, Cyrus made sure to message Marty was much as he could. He really _did_ mean it when he said he’d never randomly start ignoring him just because of things that were going on between him and TJ. Marty eventually suggested that they catch up on Saturday and Cyrus had agreed instantly, which was why he was currently pacing anxiously back and forth in his room.

He had told Marty that there were things he wanted to tell him, and sure - there were, but _should_ he? Would it be unfair to tell Marty everything that had been going on and expect him to keep it a secret from TJ, who he had known for a much more significant amount of time?

Cyrus let out a heavy sigh and stopped pacing for a moment to stare down his reflection. He ruffled his hair slightly, not finding it within himself to care when it’d just be messed up by the wind outside anyway. He looked somewhat like a mess all round, wearing the jeans and cropped sweater he had thrown on earlier (he may or may not have stolen the cropped sweater from Buffy.)

A glance down at his phone confirmed that if he didn’t leave soon he’d be late, so he slipped on a pair of shoes and begrudgingly traipsed out of his room.

“Dad, I’m going to see Marty now!” he called as he approached the front door.

“Who’s Marty again?” came the muffled response.

“The dancer guy!”

He heard soft laughter after that, followed by an “okay! Let me know when you plan on heading back!”

Cyrus nodded, realising only after he had stepped outside that his dad couldn’t see him.

Damn. He really _was_ out of it.

As he walked, fighting against the harsh wind with every step, his thoughts returned to Marty. He had been nothing but kind and supportive toward Cyrus despite his active attempt to push him away. Surely that had to count for _something_ , right?

Cyrus was still conflicted as he approached the cafe, hesitantly pushing his way through the glass doors and wincing slightly when the bell above him chimed, alerting everyone inside to his presence. He glanced about nervously, spotting Marty almost immediately on the blue couch where he and TJ had sat down for iced coffee that rainy afternoon.

Marty looked up as he approached, and the warm smile that came to his lips had Cyrus making up his mind in an instant. He _had_ to tell him. He knew TJ better than anyone else after all - surely he had to have an idea of what Cyrus could do.

Finally coming to a decision had Cyrus relaxing slightly as he sat down, returning the boy’s smile.

“Hey!”

“Hey,” Marty greeted, grabbing an iced coffee from the small table in front of them and handing it over.

Cyrus gave him a questioning look, which Marty answered with an amused “TJ told me. _And_ you ordered it that day with Jonah.”

“Oh! Right.”

Silence fell between them for a moment. Cyrus glanced around, taking a sip of his iced coffee before setting it back down on the table. The cafe was filled with quiet chatter, as well as sounds from the bustling street outside. He made eye contact with Sophie, who gave him a little wave as she moved between two different coffee machines. He smiled and waved back.

Marty cleared his throat. “So did you still wanna talk about...you know…”

Cyrus inhaled deeply and nodded. “Yeah.”

The boy looked over at him expectantly, but his gaze was kind and Cyrus knew he wasn’t trying to rush him into speaking. He racked his brain for a moment, trying to figure out where on earth he should start.

“Um. Okay, so basically...I have an ex…”

Marty didn’t interrupt him once during his spiel about Dylan, although he did look particularly fired up while Cyrus recounted some of their conversations. He explaining their history, explained his messages, explained his random appearance two weeks ago and how much it had all fucked with Cyrus’ mind (for lack of a better word.)

“And I guess I just couldn’t help but think about how similar he and TJ were...I know it probably sounds stupid, and it is, but-”

“Cyrus,” Marty said gently, and the boy turned to face him, looking somewhat alarmed by the disruption. In all of his talking, he had almost forgotten that someone else was right next to him, listening to everything he was saying.

“It’s not stupid, okay? Dylan’s stupid.”

Cyrus nodded slowly, taking another nervous sip of his iced coffee. Although he didn’t quite believe the words, it was reassuring to hear them from someone as level-headed as Marty.

“And I get it. I get why you think TJ might hurt you. I get why you’re scared of telling him how you feel, but Cyrus - TJ likes you _so_ much I can’t believe it sometimes.”

Cyrus smiled faintly despite himself. He leaned over to the couch next to him and grabbed one of its pillows, hugging it to his chest. He couldn’t care less about how he looked - he just needed _something_ there.

“You know that day you came here with him? And went into that antique shop?”

Cyrus nodded, his smile widening slightly at the memory. It was always a pleasant one to come back to - sitting with TJ while it poured rain outside, discovering what a history nerd he was, running down the street with him laughing for no reason. He wanted all of that back so _desperately_ it created a longing ache in his chest.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, his voice soft. “I remember.”

“When he came over to my place that night, he-” Marty paused for a moment, laughing quietly to himself. “It was ridiculous. He could _not_ stop talking about you. He arrived at my door completely soaked with this huge smile on his face, gushing about how great you were and how much he liked hanging out with you. Before I even _met_ you at that dance competition I felt like I already knew you.”

Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh along, feeling heat rising on his cheeks at the prospect of TJ talking about him like that.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he remembered something.

“Was he at your place when he called me?”

Marty gave him a confused look. “Wait - he _called_ you? No wonder he looked so dead the next day.”

Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh. “You didn’t realise?”

“I fell asleep pretty early,” he explained with a wide smile. “The idiot must’ve gone into another room.”

“I hope he didn’t disturb anyone,” said Cyrus with a slight frown.

“We were the only ones home,” Marty assured him.

He turned the information over in his head for a few moments, glancing about the cafe again. The thought of TJ dropping everything to talk to him made him feel warm inside, while simultaneously making him feel even _more_ guilty for ignoring him. He felt his face fall again, and Marty must’ve notice if his sudden frown was anything to go by.

“What’s wrong?”

Cyrus let out a small sigh. “There’s something else.”

He had never had to explain his situation with Iris to someone who didn’t have any background about their friendship, so finding the words took him a moment or two. Marty took a sip of his own drink in the meantime, clearly not wanting to pressure him.

Cyrus began speaking then, trying his best to explain the set-up in a way that made it seem at least _somewhat_ reasonable. Marty just listened again, silently taking in every word.

Once he had done the best he could, the boy gave a slow nod.

“Oh man...I knew there must’ve been something going on between you two after you came out to me, but I didn’t wanna pry. If you’re comfortable, I think you should tell TJ that because he’s been hearing rumours.”

“I know,” he sighed, fidgeting nervously with the sleeves of his sweater. “...How’s he doing by the way?"

Marty winced at that and Cyrus felt his stomach drop, his mind immediately imagining up the worst scenarios possible.

“He hates me now, doesn’t he?”

“No!” said Marty as he pulled his phone from his pocket, “I think he might just be a little...confused.”

Cyrus watched as he opened Instagram and searched for TJ’s user, nervousness rising his throat.

“He posted this to his story last night,” Marty explained, trying to keep his voice gentle as he showed Cyrus the screen.

He observed it for a few moments. It was a screenshot of ‘What do you mean’ by Justin Bieber playing on his phone, with small, added text reading ‘@ u.’ Cyrus had to look away then, his heart in the pit of his stomach. If that wasn’t an obvious indirect towards him, he honestly didn’t know _what_ was.

“Oh,” was all he could bring himself to say after a moment, looking around the cafe again. He tried to focus on the quiet hum of music that was playing now and all of the quiet conversations he could hear around him rather than the thoughts that were racing through his head.

Marty placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “He’s just confused, Cyrus. That’s all.”

Cyrus nodded, glancing over at the boy with a faint, but grateful smile. “I hope so.”

 

~

 

 **Dylan:** I saw your boyfriend’s Instagram story

 **Dylan:** Trouble in paradise?

 **Cyrus:** Can you shut up for once

 **Cyrus:** I don’t want anything to do with you

 **Dylan:** That’s interesting bc a) you’re still responding to me and b) you haven’t blocked me yet

 **Cyrus:** That doesn’t mean anything.

 **Dylan:** I think it does mean something actually. Something that you’re not willing to admit.

 **Cyrus:** And what is that exactly?

 **Dylan:** There’s no one that knows you like I do, and deep down that’s all you’ve ever wanted.

 

Cyrus closed Instagram and slammed his phone on the bed, feeling frustrated tears welling up in his eyes. He hated it more than anything in the world, but Dylan really _did_ know him like the back of his hand. He knew things that even Cyrus didn’t know about himself, which is what made him so dangerous to be around in the first place. He had him wrapped around his finger and if the smug smile he wore almost constantly around Cyrus was any indicator, he knew it too. He knew how to play to his weaknesses, and he knew how to play every single one of his cards right in order to get what he wanted. Cyrus was almost certain that this time what he wanted was revenge, and the thought of that terrified him so much he was beginning to feel anxious at mere _mentions_ of the name Dylan.

The thing was - being with Dylan hadn’t been all bad. Knowing so much about Cyrus meant he knew exactly how to comfort him when he was feeling low, exactly how to make him laugh, exactly how to reduce him down to a blushing mess. A forgiving mess. A mess that could look past all of the horrible ways he had tried to use him. It was true - not even _TJ_ knew him as well as Dylan did, but that didn’t make him a better person for Cyrus to be around by any means. He knew that when Dylan learned things about him, it was only so that he could use them against him later. It was a direct contrast to TJ, who learned things about him because he had a genuine interest in him.

The most frustrating thing was that despite knowing all of this, Cyrus still found some twisted sense of comfort in the fact that someone knew him so well. It really _was_ something he wanted more than anything else deep down, which was why that text had hit him as hard as it had. He _couldn’t_ block Dylan on his own. Hell - he couldn’t stop himself from giving into the urge to _respond_ to Dylan, and that made him feel so defeated that he threw himself onto the bed and buried his face in a pillow.

He felt his phone buzz repeatedly beneath his arm, and he chanced a glance at the notifications that had appeared on his lock screen.

 

 **Dylan:** I bet you haven’t even told him about me, have you?

 **Dylan:** No response. Wow Cy, I’m hurt :/

 **TJ:** Hey Cy, I’m sorry for not messaging! I’ve been busy with school stuff. Wanna meet up at the park? I’ll bring gummy worms :)

 **Dylan:** Damn, must’ve struck a nerve there. Hmu when you’re feeling better ;)

Cyrus grabbed his phone and sat upright, unable to help himself from opening his conversation with Dylan. He stared guiltily down at the screen, knowing well that he shouldn’t feed into the obvious game that was going on.

_Dylan didn’t give him a shit about him. He never had, and he never ever will._

He took a few deep breaths to centre himself, feeling chills running throughout his body as he closed the app again and opened TJ’s text instead.

 _TJ_ , he reminded himself. _The person who actually cared about him._

 

 **Cyrus:** Yay, gummy bears!! I’ll be down there soon <3

 

He had sent the text without thinking, but as he looked down at it he realised that something was wrong.

Cyrus had added a heart. He _never_ added hearts to his texts with TJ. Groaning to himself, he stood up and ran a hand through his hair, well aware that he probably looked like a hot mess. Heart or not, he was going down to that damn park and talking to TJ even if it killed him. Which, without seeming dramatic, it definitely would. That is - if the wind outside didn’t kill him first.

He sent his dad a text before stepping out the door again, tugging on a jacket over his cropped sweater as he went. The wind had become even colder somehow, cutting right through him and inducing a few shivers as he made his way down the street. He was completely exhausted, and having to struggle against the wind wasn’t doing him any favours.

TJ came into view soon enough, and he felt his stomach twist with unease as he walked up to him, approaching cautiously. The boy was sat down on one of the swings, and Cyrus could already feel his heart rate picking up as memories of TJ confessing his feelings all came flooding back.

He cleared his throat. “Hey.”

TJ looked up, smiling when his gaze met Cyrus’. “Hey!"

Cyrus thought back to what Marty had said that morning, unable to keep himself from smiling back as he settled down on the other swing.

“How did your social justice club meeting go?” asked TJ, leaning over to hand him the bag of gummy worms he had been holding.

Cyrus felt his face light up at that, and the look TJ gave him was so _fond_ he had to look away.

“It went well! We’re raising funds for that charity now,” Cyrus responded, gently pushing off the ground to begin swinging.

TJ’s smile widened at that. “You charmed them, huh?”

“You could say that,” came the smug response, which had both of them laughing a little.

Silence fell for a moment. TJ looked over at him again, biting his lip slightly and averting his gaze when Cyrus raised an eyebrow. He really _was_ cute, with his ruffled dirty blonde hair, his sparkling green eyes and his red-tinged cheeks. Cyrus had to look away again before _he_ started staring.

“Look,” he began, sighing, “I know you’re probably mad at me, but...I need to tell you something.”

TJ’s eyebrows furrowed at that. “...Okay.”

Cyrus took a few deep, centring breaths, trying hard to come across as though he _wasn’t_ having an internal freak out at that moment.

“I um...I like you too,” he rushed out without thinking, before immediately bringing a hand up to cover his mouth.

Confusion flickered across TJ’s face for a moment. Then Alarm. Then...a look that Cyrus couldn’t exactly decipher. All he knew was that it _didn’t_ seem good.

He stood up from the swing all of a sudden, shaking his head and gently kicking at a pile of woodchips.

“Cyrus...you can’t just-” he paused for a moment, letting out a bitter sounding laugh that had Cyrus’ stomach twisting uncomfortably. “You can’t just do that!”

TJ sounded as though he was fighting back tears now, refusing to look at Cyrus as he spoke.

“I just...I don’t get you! It’s like - one second you’re flirting with me and I convince myself that _maybe_ you like me back, then you...you run away when I tell you that I like you! _Then_ you ignore me for a week, _then_ I find out you have a girlfriend, and now you’re telling me you like me?! Look - I get it, okay? You’ll only ever see me as a friend. I can deal with that! But I _can’t_ deal with you giving me all these conflicting signals! I don’t want to keep getting my hopes up! And I’m sorry for ever telling you. I got carried away and I thought you felt the same way for some stupid reason, but that doesn’t mean you have to…” he paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, “...do this to me.”

Cyrus was stunned into silence at that, tears welling up in his eyes that he angrily tried to wipe away with the sleeve of his jacket. He felt numb, and it definitely _wasn’t_ because of the cold now.

“TJ…” he began, his voice wavering, but the boy just held up a hand to stop him.

“Save it, Cy. I’ll see you around,” he said, sounding tired as he kicked a few more wood chips and walked off in the opposite direction, not sparing Cyrus so much as a glance.

Cyrus sat there, doing nothing to stop the tears that were starting to fall down his face. He had fucked up. There was no other way of saying it. He had sabotaged his friendship with one of the nicest, funniest, most caring guys he had ever met all in the name of guarding a few stupid secrets. All because he had been scared. All because he had allowed Dylan to get back into his head.

His mind wandered to TJ, the way his eyes would crinkle when he laughed particularly hard at something, the blush that would always appear on his face when Cyrus told him he looked cute, the way his arms felt wrapped around him, and his heart shattered at the prospect of not regularly seeing or feeling any of those things. He thought about all their late night phone calls, about TJ’s history spiels, about their trips to the cafe, about the first time Cyrus had seen him perform a dance routine.

TJ who was unapologetic to the core, TJ who was fiercely protective of his friends, TJ who always respected people’s boundaries, TJ who gave the most heart-melting smiles, TJ who finished his history essays within two days of them being set because _‘they’re interesting, okay?’_

TJ who he had hopelessly fallen for.

Cyrus ran a hand through his hair and stood up, feeling empty as he made his way home again.

 

~

 

_Sunday, 4:13pm_

 

 **Cyrus:** TJ, I know you’re mad, but can I please explain everything? I miss you already.

 

_[Read, 4:14pm]_

 

~

 

7pm was when Cyrus finally accepted that TJ wasn’t going to respond. He had tried to distract himself with movies, checking in on their conversation occasionally, but all he ended up getting was an indication that TJ had read the text and nothing more. Hopelessness engulfed him then, and he threw his phone down onto the bed out of frustration. Knowing that this is how TJ must’ve felt when he was ignoring him was only adding to the dull ache in his chest.

He brought the blanket up to his chin and leaned back against the wall, realising with a pang that his way of dealing with situations like this was usually to call TJ. There was something about the softness of his voice, ringing out in the darkness of his room at night, that always made him feel better, if only slightly. He saw his phone light up with an Instagram notification, and he instantly recoiled away, bringing his knees up to his chest.

He had never felt as alone as he did then, sitting in total darkness, completely and utterly stuck on what should come next. With how much he had tried to push the people in his life away, he couldn’t help but wonder why any of them still stuck around. While Dylan was in his head he was like a fire, burning everything in his path, not able to realise the consequences of anything he did unless it was in hindsight. He hated it more than anything.

Soft knocking filled the room all of a sudden, startling Cyrus slightly.

“Who is it?” he called out hoarsely.

The door was pushed open and his dad stuck his head inside, looking hesitant.

“Hey bud...you okay? You’ve been in here all day.”

Cyrus softened immediately, pushing his blanket down slightly. He paused for a few long moments, debating whether or not he should tell his dad anything, before inhaling deeply and gesturing for him to come inside.

“No…”

His dad nodded slowly, stepping into the room and gently closing the door behind him. He flicked on a lamp, which had Cyrus wincing as light flooded his room. His dad walked over to the foot of his bed, sitting down in an almost uncertain fashion.

He had done nothing but push his parents away over the past few weeks, and he knew it was only fair that they at least understood _some_ of what was going on. Even if that involved…

Cyrus bit his lip nervously at the thought.

“Wanna talk about it?” his dad asked.

Cyrus almost wanted to laugh. He supposed he had already explained everything twice, what was one more time?

“Well…” he began, searching for a place to start, “do you remember Dylan?”

His dad’s face hardened slightly at the name. “Yeah...I do. Why?”

Cyrus hesitated for a moment before responding. “He’s been messaging me lately...and it’s like...it’s like everything has gone back to how it was before,” he explained, his bottom lip trembling slightly.

His dad just shook his head, shuffling across the bed to settle down beside Cyrus.

“What’s he been saying?”

He almost wanted to backtrack then and pretend that it had all been a joke, but there was a nagging voice in the back of his mind urging him to go on. Telling his dad the truth now would mean getting caught in the lie he had been maintaining for his whole life, and the idea of that was so scary he couldn’t help but freeze up for a moment.

“Well…” he trailed off, unable to look his dad in the eye. “To um...to explain that I have to explain a few other things first.”

His dad nodded slowly, going along with it despite the confusion he was obviously trying to conceal. Cyrus took a deep breath. Then another. Tears were stinging at his eyes, and at that point he was tired of fighting them back that he just let them well up and eventually slip down his face.

“Cyrus? What’s wrong?”

Cyrus shook his head, turning to face him and hugging him as tightly as he could. His dad brought a hand up to rub soothing circles along his back, still slightly stiff with confusion.

“Dylan wasn’t just a friend,” said Cyrus, his voice barely above a whisper as he pulled away.

Disbelief flickered over his dad’s face, before very obviously being smoothed over with concern. Cyrus could feel his heart hammering away in his chest now.

“Okay…” he swallowed thickly, clearly turning the information over in his head. “Then what was he?”

Cyrus just shook his head again, trembling slightly, the expression on his face apologetic. There was rain from earlier dripping down his window, the sky outside pitch black. He tried to force out the words that had been stuck in his throat all this time, and after a moment, he was able to do so in a soft whisper.

“...He was my boyfriend, dad...I’m gay.”

The words hung there in the air for a moment, as though they were a material thing blanketing both of them in silence. Cyrus began to panic slightly, preparing himself for the worst, but his dad just pulled him back into a hug.

“We love you, okay? All four of us. No matter what any of us say.”

Cyrus felt so overwhelmed with relief then he could only let a weak laugh. He felt all of the tension from keeping his secret slowly seep out of him, and eventually what replaced it was a crashing wave of exhaustion. The amount of nights he had rehearsed this exact conversation in his head was unbelievable looking back on it now, and he wanted nothing more than to travel back in time and reassure his past self that everything would be okay.

“So you’re telling me that he wasn’t just a toxic friend, he was a toxic _boyfriend?_ Now I really have to kill him,” his dad said, which had Cyrus laughing again despite the tears he could still feel clinging to his face.

“There’s something else too,” he added.

His dad took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. Hit me.”

The mere _thought_ of TJ Cyrus’ smile slipping a little bit. He bit his lip for a moment, trying to remember what his dad knew about him at that point.

“Okay...you know TJ?”

His dad just nodded, a slow smile spreading across his face. “The other dancer guy, right? Oh wait - don’t tell me - he’s your _current_ boyfriend!”

Cyrus gave him a playful shove, laughing slightly despite the longing ache those words caused in his chest. “No! I just...kind of, maybe, like him. But before you get your hopes up, I think I’ve ruined things between us for good so I probably don’t have a chance...that’s where Dylan comes back into it actually.”

His dad frowned at that. “Why? What has he been doing?”

Cyrus decided it would be significantly better for him to show rather than tell, so he silently reached over for his phone and pulled up the Instagram messages between him and Dylan. His dad read over them, beginning from the message that had started everything, and his face twisted from one of concern to one of annoyance.

“This guy’s an asshole,” he mumbled, which had Cyrus smiling weakly despite himself.

When he was finished, he handed the phone back and silently stared into space for a moment, clearing trying to collect himself.

“He’s a manipulative piece of work, isn’t he?” he said, to which Cyrus could only give a small nod.

His dad hesitated for a moment, clearly trying to choose his words carefully. “Cyrus...don’t blame yourself, okay? I don’t know what happened between you and this TJ guy, but you can’t beat yourself up about it. If anyone is to blame here, it’s _Dylan_. Not you.”

Cyrus nodded, trying hard to make himself believe the words.

“That being said…” his dad paused for a moment and let out a small sigh. “People like Dylan want nothing but control. Therefore...what do you think Dylan has as long as you’re overthinking the things he told you?”

Cyrus averted his gaze down to his hands, which were intertwined nervously on his lap. “Control,” he murmured.

His dad nodded solemnly. “He doesn’t care about the truth. He cares about thinking up manipulated versions of it to scare you.”

Cyrus knew deep down that his dad was right, and he felt somewhat like an idiot for playing into Dylan’s hands so easily.

He hesitated for a moment, before asking “so what do you think I should do?”

“Block him,” came the simple response, and the words themselves had Cyrus’ stomach twisting uncomfortably.  “As long as he’s constantly there in the background, you’ll be thinking about him, but if he’s blocked then...out of sight, out of mind.”

Cyrus took a deep breath, fidgeting nervously with his bracelet. “Okay. I’ll block him!” he announced, trying hard to seem as though he had at least the slightest amount of confidence.

His dad gave him a sympathetic smile. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”

He returned the smile as best he could, picking his phone up from the bed and typing in Dylan’s username. He glanced up to his dad for reassurance, who gave him an encouraging thumbs up, before tapping the block button and watching as Dylan’s profile disappeared from the screen, along with the dreadful feeling of having him constantly hover over Cyrus like an insistent fog, always trying to trip him up at every turn. He smiled slightly, before going on to delete their entire conversation too.

There was a wide smile on his lips when he looked back up.

“I’m proud of you, Cyrus,” his dad told him, and for once in his life Cyrus could comfortably say that _he_ was proud of himself too.

“Thanks, dad.”

 

~

 

_Sunday, 11:59pm_

**Cyrus:** I can’t do our fake-dating thing anymore, Iris. I’m so sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY GUYS I SWEAR THE NEXT CHAPTER IS HAPPIER


	11. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus has a talk with Iris. Marty invites Cyrus to a small event, where TJ will be performing. Cyrus tries to explain himself.

_Monday, 3:38pm_

**Marty:** Hey, Cyrus. TJ is too stubborn to tell you, but he and I are performing solo routines at our dance studio with some other people. It’s a casual thing, just parents, think you’d be interested in coming along? Buffy and Andi are if that helps!

 **Cyrus:** I’ll be there! :)

Cyrus glanced down at the messages as he waited, shifting nervously from foot to foot and wringing his hands together. He inhaled shakily, going over exactly what he had rehearsed in his head despite knowing that he’d probably forget it all the moment he opened his mouth anyway. The sky was clear that day and the sun was shining, making him feel slightly lighter on his feet than he had been over the past week.

The door was pulled open then, and it really shouldn’t have startled him as much as it did.

“Iris!” he gasped out, trying to conceal the fact that his hands were shaking as he swept her up in a hug. The girl laughed, but the something about it seemed uneasy. Cyrus bit his lip as he pulled away.

“Would I...maybe be able to come in?”

She nodded somewhat stiffly, stepping aside to allow him inside. He glanced about as if he hadn’t seen that exact hallway multiple times before. Iris watched him closely for a moment as though calculating something in her head, before walking after him.

“We can talk in my room if you want,” she told him, clearly not aiming to tread lightly. Cyrus flashed her a nervous smile and nodded.

Iris settled down on her bright pink bed covers upon entering, sitting completely upright in a way that had Cyrus feeling even _more_ nervous. He remained standing for his own sake.

“So,” he began, his voice higher than he would’ve liked, “what’s up?”

Iris just arched an eyebrow at him as if asking ‘really?’ and Cyrus let out a defeated sigh.

“Okay,” he relented, “so I don’t want to fake-date anymore.”

The girl nodded. “It’s fine. I get it. It’s just...what happened? Was it TJ?”

Cyrus’ eyes were soft when he turned to her, his head tipped to the side in a sympathetic fashion. “It had to end eventually, Iris. You know that.”

The girl just sighed, not confirming or denying the fact. It was evident from the expression on her face that she was torn between fear and wanting to comfort Cyrus, who looked as though he was going to explode with nerves. Her fear seemed to win out because she all she did was timidly shift her gaze down to her lap.

“I know. It’ll just feel...weird. Our thing felt like a safety blanket, you know?”

Cyrus nodded, understanding completely. “I know. But this doesn’t mean you have to come out or anything - you have all the time in the world for that, okay?”

Iris nodded, her smile softer now. She hesitated for a moment, before getting up from her spot and stepping toward Cyrus. There were tears welling up in her eyes, and Cyrus wanted to reach out and comfort her somehow. He understood the feeling - their relationship really _had_ been a safety blanket of sorts, but ultimately it was beginning to cause more damage than it was worth.

“You deserve happiness, Cy. If this is what’ll make you happy, then so be it.”

He smiled timidly at that, pulling Iris into a lingering hug. “You deserve happiness too,” he whispered back.

“We’ll both look back on this one day and laugh about it, won’t we?” Iris asked him as she pulled away, swallowing thickly.

The boy nodded. “We will. One day not being out will be a distant memory,” he promised.

Iris nodded, and silence fell for a moment as they looked at one another. Her sad smile took a more playful edge as she fell back onto the bed. “You didn’t answer my question about TJ.”

Cyrus rolled his eyes, giving her a look of mock offense. “Do you really think all my actions revolve around TJ? I’m an independent person, you know!”

Iris just continued to stare at him, her eyebrows raised challengingly, and Cyrus let out a dramatic sigh before collapsing down on the bed next to her.

“Okay. It might have a little bit to do with TJ.”

She grinned triumphantly and propped her head up on her hand, gazing up at him expectantly. Cyrus just looked back down at her, trying to seem cross, but he lasted all of two seconds before he let out another dramatic sigh.

“He’s so _cute_ ,” he began, shifting his gaze up towards the painted white ceiling. “He literally makes me rethink my ‘all boys are annoying’ stance by just _smiling_ for a few seconds.”

Iris visibly softened at that. She flipped herself over onto her back to gaze up at the ceiling with him. “How do you feel around him?” she asked quietly, so as not to disturb the brief silence that had settled around them.

Cyrus hesitated for a moment. “Happy,” he said. “Like...everything is okay.”

She nodded slowly, thinking the words over in her head.

“You make him happy too,” she told him, with an air of certainty that had Cyrus looking over at her a moment.

“You think so?”

Iris just gave him a teasing smile. “I know so.”

He nodded at that, a bright feeling in his chest as his mind wandered to TJ. Memories from the past few months flooded his mind, twisting about and leaving him with a light, fluttery feeling he couldn’t get rid of. He always felt like air around TJ; uninhibited and free, hanging onto to every smile that graced his lips, every word that left his mouth. TJ had a way of constantly pulling him in, and Cyrus was rapidly growing tired of trying to fight the spark that existed between them.

“Okay,” he whispered, surprising even himself. He usually didn’t accept statements like that without question, but another thing he was growing tired of was doubting himself. If Iris thought that he made TJ happy then...maybe he actually did. Right now though, more than anything, he knew TJ was just feeling hurt by him, and that thought felt like a punch to the stomach.

Shock flickered over her face, before quickly being replaced with pride. She reached over and intertwined their fingers, still looking up at the ceiling. Cyrus sighed and leaned into her, feeling as though another heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

 

~

 

Cyrus knew from the moment Buffy and Andi set eyes on him that Tuesday he was in for some questioning. He may have made the mistake of not telling them about what  happened with TJ. Now there he was at his locker - his smile apologetic as he looked back at both of them. Buffy with her arms folded and an eyebrow raised, Andi wearing a slight frown. He glanced out of the window for a moment, taking in the clear blue sky, before turning his attention back to the pair.

“Nice weather, huh?”

Andi snorted, while Buffy just gave him an unimpressed look.

“Okay, okay, so over the weekend I ruined my friendship with TJ and I came out to my dad. Satisfied now?”

Andi stepped forward, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “Why didn’t you call us, Cyrus?”

The boy sighed as Buffy stepped forward too, leaning against the locker beside him. He looked between them for a moment, before lowering his head. “I didn’t want you guys to know what a mess I made of things,” he mumbled. “I mean...TJ was literally yelling at me because he was so hurt.”

Buffy just shook her head though. “A mess of things? Cyrus - you came out to your dad,” she said, lowering her voice slightly.

“Yeah, maybe,” he mumbled.

“ _And_ you broke things off with Iris! Which I’ve been telling you to do forever, by the-” Andi gave her a stern look, to which she responded with an annoyed huff. “That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you didn’t make a complete mess of things. You can still fix things with TJ!”

“How?” he asked, somewhat hysterically. All he could think of at that moment was how hurt TJ had seemed that day; the way his bottom lip had trembled, the way tears had welled up in his eyes, the way he could barely look at Cyrus. The memory brought a slight wince to his face.

“You’re going to his event at the studio, right?” Andi asked.

He nodded slowly, eyebrows furrowed slightly now with confusion. “Yeah...but it’s not like I can talk to him while he’s up there performing.”

Buffy turned to him, another unimpressed look on her face. “ _Yeah_ , but the performance will only take up about 4 minutes of his time.”

“So you’re saying I should talk to him backstage?” Cyrus asked, recoiling slightly as though he’d rather do anything else. TJ likely wouldn’t be alone backstage, and the very last thing he wanted to do was cause a scene with other people there. He really wouldn’t be able to live that one down.

“Yeah basically,” said Buffy, giving him a playful shove when he just looked at her in disbelief. “Oh come _on_ , TJ can’t resist you. By the time Saturday rolls around he’ll be all over you again.”

Cyrus just rolled his eyes, trying desperately to will down the blush he could feel growing on his face. He shifted his gaze toward some of the students rushing past, books in hand.

“I’ll think about it,” he ended up saying, turning back to his locker before Buffy could object. The girl huffed out a small “fine” before allowing herself to be swept away by Andi.

Cyrus could barely concentrate that day - or during any of the following days for that matter. He had several urges to just show up at TJ’s house and rush out an explanation before he could be kicked out, but he really _did_ want to give the boy space if that’s what he needed. Besides - he supposed it was only fair that he didn’t spam him with texts or do anything drastic because TJ had done the same whilst Cyrus had been ignoring _him_.

 

The week rolled by progressively slower with each agonizing day - so much so that when it was finally Saturday, Cyrus almost didn’t want to believe it. He was stood nervously outside his front door, his hands fidgeting restlessly as he waited for Buffy’s car to pull up. In contrast to the atmosphere of that week, this day had brought dreary grey clouds and harsh, biting winds. He was rugged up in a black long-sleeved turtleneck, a coat, and a scarf, but even then shivers were beginning to wrack through him as late afternoon approached. He honestly didn’t think he had felt this many butterflies in his stomach before at the prospect of seeing TJ, and it was making him feel slightly light-headed as he stood there, cheeks tinged red by the cold.

After what seemed like hours but was probably minutes, Buffy’s dad pulled into the driveway, sending him a warm smile as he made his way over. Cyrus forced himself to return the smile, even if it was somewhat strained, before climbing into the backseat next to Andi and shoving his phone into his pocket.

“Thanks again for agreeing to drive me,” he breathed out, his hair disheveled slightly by the wind.

Buffy’s dad just smiled. “It’s no problem, Cyrus.”

Cyrus let out a shaky breath as they began to drive, looking over at Andi and Buffy for some reassurance. Buffy reached over to pat his head, giving him an encouraging smile, while Andi took his hand in hers and gently rested her head on his shoulder.

“You’ll be fine. Just tell him the truth, okay?”

He nodded in response, too nervous to really speak after that. Not only would he have to explain himself, but he’d also have to see TJ dancing, and he really wasn’t sure if his heart could take that.

He remained like that for the rest of the car ride, leaning into Andi, his head angled so he could still look out of the window at all the clouds blanketing the sky. Just as he could feel himself relaxing slightly, they pulled into the dance studio parking a lot and suddenly the butterflies in his stomach were making a reappearance. The car came to a halt, and Cyrus felt the urge to just stare into space and pretend they _hadn’t_ just arrived.

“Thanks again for dropping us off Mr.Driscoll,” Andi said, and Cyrus nodded along in agreement.

Buffy’s dad waved them off. “It was nothing. Have fun, guys!”

After a few seconds of internal pep-talk, Cyrus pushed the car door open and stepped outside into the cool air, Andi following close behind. Buffy got out on the other side, walking over to them with a bright smile.

“Ready?”

Andi nodded enthusiastically, linking arms with both of them as they made their way to the front entrance. Cyrus could already see the neon pink lights that had fascinated him so much last time, which brought a faint smile to his lips. It flickered almost immediately at the memory of walking into that bathroom and finding TJ leaned up against the sink, refusing to look at him. It had ended in a hug, but Cyrus still found himself wishing he had just come clean right then and there.

Now here he was a few weeks later; his friendship with TJ in ruins. Well - not according to Buffy, but Cyrus couldn’t help but think so. They all stepped inside, and Buffy glanced down at her phone as she came to a sudden stop.

“It’s a different room this time,” she said slowly, looking up for a few brief moments.

Cyrus had almost forgotten that there would be an audience of people surrounding them, and the thought made his stomach drop.

“How many people are gonna be there?” he wondered, trying hard to conceal his nervousness.

Andi gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. “Not many, I promise.”

Buffy glanced up again. “Marty said we could walk straight in, so...let’s go.”

Andi nodded, still glancing over at Cyrus as they headed down the hallway. The painted black walls only seemed to add to the anxious pit in his stomach as they walked, and Cyrus found himself glancing about distractedly. The muffled sounds of chatter grew louder as they approached the final pair of double doors, and this time Cyrus didn’t leave room to hesitate - he gently dropped Andi’s arm and pushed them open.

The girls exchanged an impressed look, walking through right after him. Cyrus was greeted by a room that resembled more of a theatre than the one from last time, with rows of cushy red seats and a somewhat compact stage, with black doors on either side that Cyrus could only assume led to a small backstage area. There were already people there filling the seats, chattering away as they waited and occasionally glancing up at the stage. Cyrus let out a breath he didn’t even realize he had been holding, following Andi and Buffy somewhat blindly as they walked over to the seating area. They were quick to find three seats that hadn’t been taken, sitting down and gesturing for Cyrus to do the same.

Cyrus did so hesitantly, his leg bouncing nervously as he continued to look around.

“When does it start?” he inquired.

“8,” came Buffy’s response, prompting him to look down at his phone.

_7:55pm._

He inhaled deeply and nodded

 

 **Cyrus:** Hey! You ready for the routine?

 **Marty:** I think so! Will u be cheering me on? ;)

 **Cyrus:** You know it!

 **Cyrus:** And so will Buffy ;)

 **Marty:** Pfft, very funny

 **Marty:** TJ misses you btw

 **Cyrus:** Really?

 **Marty:** Yeah, he doesn’t wanna admit it but I know he is. I hope u two can figure things out soon b/c if I have to hear him complain about how cute you are one more time,,, I might lose it

 **Cyrus:** Oh Marty, you poor poor thing

 **Cyrus:** I’ll try just for you :)

 **Marty:** Thank u sm :,-(

 

Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh softly to himself as he switched his phone to silent and stowed it away in his pocket. He grabbed onto Andi’s hand almost unconsciously as the curtains began to draw apart, and the girl gave him an encouraging smile.

He was listening to the announcer, but not really taking in any of the words she was saying. His traitorous mind kept reminding him of TJ in any way it could, and it was an effort in itself to try and rid himself of these thoughts.

“Do you know where TJ is in the line-up?” he whispered.

The sympathetic smile that came to Andi’s lips had his heart sinking.

“Last,” she whispered back, and he couldn’t help but let out a quiet groan. _Why would the universe do that to him?_ Having to wait in anticipation for TJ’s performance was _not_ something his heart could handle at that moment.

Before he knew it, someone he didn’t recognize was on stage and the bass to a song he didn’t know was ringing loudly across the theatre. There was no doubt she was good; everything about her routine was graceful and precise, with alternations between quick and slow movements. Cyrus clapped along with everyone else once she had finished, trying hard to push down the worry that was bubbling up inside of him.

The room had darkened fully now, practically pitch black apart from the illuminated stage. Marty was up next, sporting smoky purple make-up that had Cyrus gasping as he stepped out into the light. Marty avoided making eye contact with them for a majority of the routine (and for good reason - Buffy was pulling a variety of strange faces to try and make him laugh) but once the final notes of the song had rung out he came to a halt, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths as his eyes fell on Cyrus. As if he had sensed Cyrus’ nervousness, he gave him a reassuring smile before straightening again, shifting his gaze toward the rest of the crowd.

Cyrus’ hands remained intertwined on his lap for the next few performances as he watched, trying hard to take everything in without being overwhelmed. Finally, after what felt like a longer time than it probably was, TJ’s name was announced and Cyrus was sitting upright in his seat, sending Andi an uneasy glance.

The moment he stepped onto the stage, an easy air of confidence following him, Cyrus’ jaw dropped. He was wearing sweatpants and a cropped sweater, his face completely neutral as he waited for the music to start up. His gaze was firey in a way that had an explosion of tiny butterflies going off in Cyrus’ stomach. To top it all off, he was wearing glittery rainbow make-up, and Cyrus seriously had to take a moment or two to collect himself.

“Are you okay?” Andi whispered knowingly, to which he could only give a weak nod.

Buffy was smirking over at him, not trying to be subtle in the slightest.

“Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?” Cyrus mumbled, tugging at his turtleneck.

“It’s you,” they both said, which had all of them laughing a little.

Cyrus bit his lip as the opening notes began to play, reverberating around the room in a way that felt much more intense than the other songs had. It took him a moment or two to figure out which song it was, but once he had he let out an audible gasp.

“It’s ‘break up with your girlfriend, I'm bored!” Andi whisper-yelled, her eyes widened slightly in alarm.

“Cyrus...did TJ know you were coming?” asked Buffy, more amused than anything.

“It’s just a coincidence guys,” he huffed, watching as TJ began to move in the same effortless way he always did, exuding confidence and even _smugness_ Cyrus realized, taking note of the smirk beginning to tug at his lips.

 

_Then I realize she’s right there_

_And I’m at home like, “Damn, this ain’t fair!”_

 

TJ’s eyes met his then, and Cyrus felt the air seep out his lungs. He couldn’t look away if he tried.

_Break up with your girlfriend_

_Yeah, yeah, ‘cause I’m bored_

 

“Holy fuck,” he whispered to no one in particular. _Surely_ the room was too dark for TJ to be seeing him right now. _Surely_.

“I think TJ has officially unlocked his maximum level of pettiness,” Buffy said with a laugh, looking on incredulously.

Andi nodded in agreement, a slight smile tugging at her lips. Cyrus just continued to watch, never breaking eye contact with the boy. He could definitely feel his face heating up now, and he glanced around self-consciously for a moment to ensure no one else was looking at him.

_This shit always happens to me_

_Why can’t we just play for keeps?_

 

As the song drew on, everything began to feel far too overwhelming for Cyrus. The loud music pulsing in his ears, TJ’s fiery eye contact with him, and even the darkness that engulfed them all. The moment he felt his hands begin to shake and his heart rate begin to pick up, he whispered to Andi that he needed some fresh air. She nodded, her eyes soft with understanding, so he silently got up from his chair and slipped out of the theatre, going relatively unnoticed. He let out a sigh of relief as some of the cool air from outside hit him, walking briskly towards the front entrance and through the glass double doors.

It was even colder out now; the skies had darkened and the wind felt more biting. He folded his arms and let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. The last lyric he had heard as before leaving echoed about in his mind as he turned to face away from the building, looking up at the sky.

 

_Say I’m trippin’, if you feel like_

_But you without me ain’t right_

 

The clouds had darkened too by now, looming overhead with the threat of rainfall at any moment. Cyrus could faintly see his breath in the air as he exhaled.

Cyrus really did think the song choice had been a coincidence, but the meaningful way TJ had been looking at him throughout the routine told another story - one that lit a spark of hope in his chest. The lyrics in themselves were telling enough, and Cyrus found himself smiling slightly at the thought of them.

_Did TJ still want him?_

He definitely still wanted TJ. In fact - he had never _stopped_ wanting TJ. Even while they were ignoring one another.

Cyrus lingered there for a few more minutes, finding comfort in the crisp evening air as he gazed up at the clouds. He knew he’d have to go back inside and face the music at some point, but at that moment he was content with remaining there.

He felt himself tense up as faint footsteps began to approach behind him. He realized it was probably just Andi or Buffy coming out to check up on him though, so he didn’t move at all for a few more moments. He could feel a few raindrops beginning to splatter against his skin, but that didn’t deter him in the slightest.

“Nice weather out here.”

Cyrus froze up immediately. That didn’t sound at all like Andi’s voice. _Or_ Buffy’s voice. In fact, it sounded a lot like-

“TJ,” he practically gasped out, whirling around.

The boy was stood there, his smile turning slightly bashful as Cyrus’ eyes landed on him. There were raindrops falling on his face, making his make-up run slightly, but somehow he was still glowing. Everything about him was stunning, and Cyrus was honestly surprised he had managed to resist his feelings for so long when TJ looked like _that_.

TJ stepped forward then, some of his earlier confidence diminished.

“You um...you didn’t like the routine?”

Cyrus bit his lip to contain a smile. “No,” he said playfully, mirroring TJ’s step forward. “I did.”

TJ swallowed thickly and nodded, his eyes sweeping unashamedly over Cyrus’ face. The expression on his face was pure _longing_ , Cyrus felt his breath catch audibly.

“Then why’d you run out?”

Cyrus tipped his head to the side, an eyebrow raised in challenge. “Why’d you chose that song?”

TJ looked down at the ground for a moment, clearly trying to contain a smile of his own. All he could give in response was a shrug.

The rain was beginning to fall more heavily now, but neither of them moved. Cyrus could honestly say it was the _last_ thing on his mind at that moment.

“I’m sorry for making you confused,” he said, softer now.

TJ sighed heavily and nodded, his head bowed slightly in defeat. “It’s okay. I get it.”

“That’s the thing though,” Cyrus breathed, taking another small step forward. “I really don’t think you do.”

TJ lifted his gaze again to meet Cyrus’, and his expression betrayed hope for a moment. Cyrus shifted nervously on the spot.

“Iris and I...we’re not dating.”

The boy’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion. “Then why did you tell everyone that you were?”

“We were pretending to date...so I could hide something from people.”

TJ nodded slowly, his breath slightly uneven now. His expression seemed more open now; more hopeful.

“What were you trying to hide?”

Cyrus smiled timidly. “That I’m gay.”

TJ’s mouth fell open in shock then, and Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh a little. His heart was still racing, but somehow he felt calmer after having spoken the words. TJ took another step forward, his smile wider now.

“I really _am_ sorry if I hurt you though. I was just scared,” said Cyrus, his voice barely above a whisper.

TJ just shook his head though. “It’s okay. I know it’s hard.”

Cyrus almost didn’t realize how close they were getting until he was forced to look up slightly in order to maintain eye contact with TJ. He inhaled sharply, almost tempted to step back again, but something kept him rooted to the spot. The rain had become even heavier now, pouring down as they continued to look at one another, but Cyrus still couldn’t care less. They remained like that for a few long moments, tension crackling in the air around them, and Cyrus took another deep breath to steady himself. That light, fluttery feeling had entered his stomach again, TJ’s gaze was burning despite the cold, and everything felt overwhelming in the best possible way.

He swallowed as he looked up further, taking in every detail of TJ from his smudged make-up to his windswept hair, to the smug curve of his lips. His confidence from earlier had returned now, and he was practically _buzzing_ with it.

“Hey - you like dramatic rain kisses, right?” TJ asked suddenly, hints of playfulness shining through.

He swore he felt his heart skip a beat.

Cyrus couldn’t help it - he laughed. It was Saturday night, and it was pouring rain, and he was stood in front of a boy he’s liked since the moment they met. For some wild reason, that boy happened to like him back, and right now he was looking at him as though he’s never wanted anything more. Cyrus had been dancing around his feelings for the past _month_ , but right now he couldn’t find it within himself to care about any of that. All of his emotions were bubbling to the surface and he wasn’t making any effort to try and stop them.

He was still laughing slightly as he surged forward, cupping TJ’s face and bringing their lips together in a kiss that was way wetter than it should’ve been, but mind-numbingly perfect anyway. TJ’s hands went to his waist in an instant, pulling him in, holding him steady as Cyrus stood up on his tip-toes. It was cold out, and they were both getting soaked in a way that had their clothes clinging to them, but TJ’s lips were warm and inviting and they made up for all of that. He brought his hands down to smooth over TJ’s chest, unable to keep himself from smiling as he wrapped his arms loosely around his neck and pulled him closer. And really, this kiss didn’t feel too different from all of their other interactions. TJ’s lips were insistent yet gentle against his own, and Cyrus couldn’t help but think that was just how TJ had always been - confident, smug, but always warm and kind when it came down to it.

When they finally separated for more than a few seconds, they were both beaming. Cyrus could confidently say it was the lightest he’s ever felt.

“It’s raining,” TJ panted after a moment, still glancing down at Cyrus’ lips.

Cyrus smirked slightly and stepped out of TJ’s grasp. “I guess we better get inside then.”

“I didn’t say that,” TJ whined, but he begrudgingly followed the boy in any way.

Cyrus turned around to face him, walking backward. “What do you think the others will say?” he asked, still smiling brightly.

The doors at the end of the hall opened then, which had Cyrus whirling back around as people began to file out. TJ wrapped an arm around his shoulders and sent him a smug smile.

“I guess we’ll see, won’t we?”

Cyrus leaned into him with a content sigh, still not caring in the slightest that they were both soaked from the rain. Everything felt _right_ ; more right than they had been over the past few weeks.

“I guess we will,” he agreed, unable to keep the smile off his face as TJ pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.


	12. A promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dylan is an asshole. TJ isn't impressed. Marty and Cyrus must be protected at all costs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Yet again, I have nothing to say for myself.
> 
> Here's the chapter!

It had taken Andi a solid few seconds of wide-eyed staring for her to produce something coherent when Cyrus told her later that night exactly what had happened. Buffy on the other hand, looked relieved more than anything.

“Cyrus you have _no_ idea how excruciating this whole thing with TJ has been to watch,” she had said with a smile on her face that told Cyrus she was secretly just as happy as Andi seemed to be at that moment, “I’m just glad you finally kissed and made up...literally.””

Now there they were on a lazy Sunday afternoon, lounging about on Cyrus’ couch and basking in the sun that was pouring through the window. Andi was braiding Buffy’s hair, one earphone in as she did so, and Buffy appeared to be texting someone. ( _Marty if the smile on her face was anything to go by,_ Cyrus couldn’t help but muse.)

TJ had a casual arm thrown around Cyrus’ shoulders as he recounted a story about Amber and him accidentally stealing a snickers bar from the store when he was 6, and Cyrus was more than happy to just listen. After having spent the past few weekends stressing out over his feelings for TJ, it felt nice to be this close to him now - close enough to count the faint freckles that dotted his face.

“We had no concept of money whatsoever by the way, so please don’t tell the cops on us. Actually - can six years get arrested? Do they even _have_ handcuffs that small?”

Cyrus snorted at that. “No, TJ. I don’t think 6-year-olds can get arrested,” he deadpanned, laughing as he narrowly dodged TJ’s swat at him.

Buffy glanced up from her phone for a moment, shaking her head in exasperated amusement before returning to it again.

Everything felt  _right_.

Until it didn’t.

His phone, which had been sitting discarded on his lap, suddenly lit up with a text message from Dylan. Cyrus wanted to do a lot of things - burst into tears, punch something despite being the most passive person on the planet, throw his phone across the room, but what he ended up doing was staring down at the messages with an expression of horror.

 **Dylan:** Come on, Cy

 **Dylan:** Can’t we talk about this?

It was almost embarrassing how quickly he lost it, muttering a quiet “fuck” under his breath and shoving his phone forcefully into his pocket.

Andi was looking over now with concern written all over her face, clearly having an idea of what was going on.

“Who was that?” TJ asked, confused more than anything. Cyrus could barely bring himself to make eye contact, but he knew the boy was probably looking at him too now.

Buffy glanced up at Andi then, who had stopped braiding her hair, before following her line of sight to Cyrus. Cyrus could see the gears in her head turning, and the thought only added to the uneasy pit in his stomach. He knew he’d have to tell TJ about Dylan eventually, but a day after their first kiss just didn’t seem like the right time.

TJ was one of the kindest people he knew, but for some reason, Cyrus didn’t think he’d take too kindly to someone who had indirectly caused the whole mess between them.

It was delayed and a little bit unconvincing, but Cyrus managed to get out a hurried “no one!“ after a few moments, which only served to deepen the frown on TJ’s face.

“Okay,” he trailed off, eyebrows furrowed slightly as he removed his arm from Cyrus’ shoulders. “Then what’s wrong?”

Cyrus looked desperately to where Buffy and Andi were sat. Buffy was giving him a pointed look that pretty much screamed ‘tell him!’ while Andi had a sympathetic smile on her face that seemed more like a ‘tell him if you want to.’ He let out a heavy sigh before turning his gaze to TJ again

“He’s my ex.”

TJ looked visibly taken aback. “Then why’s he texting you?”

Cyrus averted his gaze to his lap at that, his throat feeling tight all of a sudden. Dylan was never a pleasant thought in general, but the idea of telling TJ about him seemed so _daunting_ . How could he possibly communicate what Dylan had managed to do over the past few weeks? _‘Hey sorry for not telling you earlier but I have an annoying, slightly crazy ex who manipulates people for fun and won’t stop trying to contact me. Hope that’s not a dealbreaker!’_

He almost shuddered at the thought.

“Um, well the thing is...” he trailed off immediately and looked to Andi and Buffy for help. Buffy sighed and shuffled around to face them, hair half braided.

“He’s not just any ex,” said Andi as she settled down next to Buffy. “He’s...”

“Your annoying, controlling, manipulative asshole of an ex,” Buffy finished firmly.

TJ’s face hardened. He looked angry now, and Cyrus almost began to panic because he _knew_ that was what would happen.

“What’s he been saying?” he asked, eyes surprisingly soft as he looked at Cyrus.

Cyrus exchanged another glance with Andi and Buffy, letting out a shaky exhale. His heart was racing now in anticipation, although he exactly didn’t know what for. Surprisingly enough, both Buffy and Andi seemed to be at a loss of what to say.

TJ glanced around at all of them, shaking his head. “Someone needs to say something before I break into this guy’s house and have a talk with him,” he said, and although the thought was touching Cyrus would rather TJ didn’t end up in jail anytime soon.

“Let’s talk somewhere else, okay?” he responded, standing up from the couch and smiling slightly when TJ followed suit without question.

“We’ll be right back,” he whispered to Buffy, who gave him that same pointed look and nodded.

As soon as they entered his room, golden sunlight streaming through his parted curtains and a light breeze filtering in through the ajar window, Cyrus collapsed down onto the bed and reached out to grab a pillow. TJ remained hovering by the doorway, looking both amused and puzzled.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting comfortable,” Cyrus responded with a smile, patting the space beside him. “This is gonna take a while.”

TJ nodded and walked over, laying down on the bed beside Cyrus and propping his head up on his hands.

Cyrus couldn’t help but smile, leaning over to press a kiss to the boy’s cheek. TJ smiled back despite himself, laying down flat on the bed and pulling Cyrus in.

“Okay,” he began, voice soft. “So basically...a year ago, there was this boy.”

And that was how Cyrus ended up telling someone about Dylan for the third time that month. It had become easier somehow with each time, but he still had to pause occasionally and take a moment to remind himself that he was in the _present_ now, laying with TJ as the boy ran a soothing hand through his hair.

After he had finished there was silence for a few long moments. He kept his head on TJ’s chest as it slowly rose and fell, waiting for some sort of response.

“I mean, I wanna kill him obviously,” TJ began, and Cyrus couldn’t help but smile, “but mostly I just hate the idea of you having to go through all that. No one deserves it, especially not you.”

Cyrus’ smile took a sad edge. He could feel his throat tightening again for some reason, and he couldn’t bring himself to look up at TJ.

“It’s okay,” he managed after a moment, voice wavering slightly.

“It’s not,” said TJ, voice soft but firm somehow.

Cyrus couldn’t argue. Silence fell again, and he found himself snuggling into the fabric of TJ’s sweater.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole to you while you had that going on,” TJ continued, his hand pausing in its actions.

Cyrus just shook his head though, shuffling further up the bed and resting his head on TJ’s shoulder instead. “You didn’t know. Besides, I was being an asshole too.”

“But-“

“Dylan doesn’t excuse it,” Cyrus said firmly.

TJ didn’t say anything in response. He just pulled the boy in closer and pressed a kiss to his hair. They remained like that for a few minutes, the warm sunlight making Cyrus’ eyelids feel slightly heavy.

“Cyrus?” TJ mumbled.

“Yeah?”

“Just so you know, we can take things at your pace, okay? If it ever gets too much, you don’t have to be scared to tell me. I don’t wanna pressure you to do anything.”

He hesitated for a moment after that, looking down at Cyrus. “I’m not Dylan, I promise.”

And Cyrus really didn’t think it was fair for TJ to be so damn _nice_ about everything because at that moment he almost felt like crying with how relieved he felt.

He settled on just shaking his head, climbing onto TJ’s lap and leaning down to kiss them. TJ smiled slightly, slowly sitting up without disconnecting their lips and wrapping his arms around Cyrus’ waist, pulling him in closer. Cyrus looped his arms around the boy’s neck, drawing back for a moment.

“Thank you,” he whispered, admiring the way TJ looked at that moment, bathed in sunlight.

TJ smiled. “No problem.”

They both looked at one another for a moment.

“I just realised we totally left Buffy and Andi out there,” the boy said.

Cyrus gasped and clambered off TJ’s lap then, getting up and heading over to the door.

“We have to go back to them or they’ll think we died in here!” he exclaimed, and TJ gracefully followed suit with a fond smile.

“After you Kippen,” Cyrus teased, to which TJ gave an amused huff as he left the room.

“Such a gentleman.”

Seeing TJ look back at him then, eyes crinkling with a smile, Cyrus’ heart flipped.

TJ wasn’t _anything_ like Dylan - and he never would be.

 

_~_

 

Cyrus had nothing whatsoever against maths, apart from the fact that it was a bit boring, but he had come to the conclusion a long time ago that double maths on a Monday afternoon had to be one of most agonising things in existence. When he turned the corridor to his locker at the end of the day he was beyond exhausted, blinking slowly as he walked beside Buffy.

“Hey, do you remember what he said at the end of class-“ Cyrus abruptly stopped talking, disbelief all over his face as he came to a halt.

Buffy raised an amused eyebrow at that, following Cyrus’ gaze. She laughed slightly when her eyes landed on TJ, who was standing casually in front of Cyrus’ locker.

“So you have a boyfriend who picks you up after school now?” she asked him, and Cyrus just gave her a playful swat.

“You’re just jealous.”

“Not at all,” came the deadpanned response.

Cyrus couldn’t help but scoff. “Really? So you definitely wouldn’t want Marty picking y-“

“Would you look at the time! I have basketball practise. See you, Cyrus,” Buffy waved as she turned in walk in the opposite direction, headed towards the girls' locker area.

Cyrus just shook his head, a knowing smile on his lips as he approached TJ. TJ who just so happened to be wearing glasses. And wearing his hair down. And wearing a cute oversized sweater.

He could practically _feel_ himself swooning as he greeted the boy, so preoccupied that he failed to open his locker about three times.

“We had a student free day so I thought I’d come pick you up,” he explained, one hand pressed up against the locker next to Cyrus.

“Does this mean we’re getting iced coffee?” he asked hopefully, to which TJ just gave him an amused smile.

“I guess we can feed your iced coffee addiction, yeah.”

“Hey! I can stop anytime I want to!”

TJ laughed slightly at that, which Cyrus had smiling again in an instant.

It was another clear blue day, with light winds and beaming sunlight. Cyrus was convinced that just seeing TJ laugh was always about a hundred per cent certain to improve his day drastically. Seeing him in _glasses_ was almost too much for his heart.

His smile faded though the moment he looked past TJ’s shoulder, smoothing out almost immediately into an expression of shock.

 _Fucking Dylan,_ he thought to himself as he watched the boy laugh obnoxiously loud and pull his friends in for bro-hugs.

_Was this guy just hellbent on ruining his life?_

TJ noticed his distraction almost right away, not aiming for subtly at all as he spun around and looked to the place Cyrus seemed to be fixated on.

Confusion flickered across the boy’s face, before giving way to realisation.

“Oh my god - is that...?”

Cyrus quickly looked away, hurriedly stuffing his books into his bag. He could _not_ deal with this right now.

“Should I-“

“Let’s just go, please?” Cyrus begged, to which TJ gave a quick nod, glancing briefly back over his shoulder. He looked for a moment as though he was torn between going over to Dylan and comforting Cyrus, but the latter obviously seemed to win out because he placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, expression soft.

“I’m here, okay? He can’t try anything.”

Cyrus just shook his head though, feeling panic already begin to course through him as he pulled his bag out of his locker. Dylan has noticed them by now, and the delighted smile that came to his lips made Cyrus’ stomach drop.

“So you _are_ the replacement then, I’m guessing?” he called as he began to make his way over.

TJ whirled around, clearly fuming, and Cyrus stepped forward to rest a placating hand on the boy’s shoulder. His look of annoyance quickly morphed into one of concern.

TJ looked between Dylan and Cyrus, gaze practically burning, before taking a step back.

“I’m not anything. Let’s go, Cy.”

Cyrus was shocked for a moment by TJ’s maturity, but he shook it off and turned around to follow the boy towards the doors. He had always pinned TJ down as someone who was nice but had no problem with exploding when necessary, and right now he seemed to be backing down.

Cyrus had to resist the sudden urge to reach out and take his hand as they walked away.

For a fleeting moment, he thought that’d be it from Dylan. He _really_ should’ve known better, because Dylan was hardly ever one to give up when he wanted something.

“Well you clearly have a type, _Cy_!”

Cyrus’ heart stopped. TJ turned around again, slower this time, and he found himself begrudgingly following suit. One glance over at TJ’s face confirmed he was fuming all over again, and suddenly nervousness was bubbling up inside of him.

“Listen to me,” TJ said, voice low. “Just because you’re confident in yourself now doesn’t mean you can...”

He glanced looked over at Cyrus, eyes sad, but Cyrus’ gaze was on all the students that were listening in now. They weren’t crowded around them by any means, but they certainly weren’t moving from their spots either, subtly looking up once in a while.

Dylan just smirked. “Doesn’t mean I can what?”

TJ’s anger quickly turned to worry again. He looked back at Dylan, pressing his lips together and shaking his head. Cyrus couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“Don’t do this,” TJ said, and despite his voice still being low, there was a seeming element of _begging_ there now. Cyrus’ eyebrows furrowed.

_Why would he be begging? Did he know something Cyrus didn’t?_

 

Silence. Then-

 

“Do what?” Dylan asked cockily, taking a confident step forward. “Tell the whole school that Cyrus Goodman is gay?”

And suddenly the world was collapsing around him.

_You’re fine, don’t panic. You’re fine, don’t panic._

He could hear TJ yelling something at Dylan, but he couldn’t concentrate on that when it felt like there was suddenly no air in his lungs. He dumped his bag on the floor and whirled around, fast-walking to the closest bathroom he could see, trying to take deep breaths, his heart racing.

_In._

He stumblingly made his way over to the wall.

_Out._

He slid down against it, hitting the floor with a soft thud.

_In._

He brought his knees up to his chest.

_Out._

He buried his face in his hands.

“Cyrus?”

The door was pushed open and the lights were flicked on. Cyrus’ vision was blurred slightly by tears as he looked up. TJ approached hesitantly, crouching down and placing a hand on his arm.

“Breathe for me, okay Cy? You’re gonna be fine. This doesn’t last, remember?“

Cyrus tried to nod, hands shaking as he brought them up to roughly wipe the tears from his face. TJ reached out and gently pulled his hand away, placing his own there instead.

He was still heaving in breaths, trying to calm his racing heart but failing miserably apparently, because somehow he felt _more_ panicked. The small bathroom felt suffocating, and the walls were closing in further with each second.

“Cyrus, do you wanna go outside?” asked TJ, carefully wiping away another tear.

The boy could only manage a nod, so TJ helped him up and began leading him out. They crossed the corridor, pointedly ignoring the people that were still lingering there, before exiting the building and settling down on a nearby bench.

The sun was still beaming down on them as they sat there, TJ’s hand around Cyrus’ shoulders. It took a few minutes, and some murmured words of comfort, but eventually, his heaving breathes turned into more steady ones, and his heart rate wasn’t soaring anymore.

He rested his head on TJ’s shoulder. “They know now.”

He felt TJ nod. “I’m so sorry, Cy.”

“It’s okay. I just...wasn’t expecting it today.”

TJ pulled him in closer, running a soothing hand up and down the boy’s arm.

“It should’ve been on your terms.”

Cyrus just nodded, feeling a wave of exhaustion hit him. They remained like that for a few moments, TJ pressing the occasional kiss to Cyrus’ head, when suddenly the double doors were thrown open.

Cyrus jumped slightly, eyes wide, but when he saw who it was he relaxed into TJ’s side again.

Buffy and Andi walked out in a fit of giggles, with Andi in particular practically collapsed into Buffy’s side with laughter.

Cyrus sat upright then, exchanging a bewildered look with TJ.

“Guys you will _not_ believe what just happened!” announced Buffy as they approached, stopping in front of them.

TJ looked up at in slight confusion, an amused smile playing at his lips. “What happened?”

“Andi slapped Dylan across the face!”

Cyrus nearly choked at that, looking between Buffy and Andi as he waited for some kind of confirmation because _what the actual fuck._

“I guess I did, didn’t I?” said Andi after a moment, arms folded across her chest in pride.

TJ snorted before bursting into laughter, getting up from his seat and offering a high-five to the girl. Andi high-fived him with a laugh.

Cyrus was still looking between them, a shocked smile on his face. “Oh my _god_ , Andi!” he exclaimed after a moment, his smile widening. “You’re a queen!”

When all of their laughter had finally faded, Andi sat down next to Cyrus on the bench and wrapped her arms around him, seeming serious now.

“So what are you gonna do, Cyrus?” she asked quietly.

Buffy’s smile faded too as she sat down on his other side, resting her head on his shoulder.

He hesitated before responding.

“Well...it’s not the way I wanted to come out at all but...I can’t exactly change that now. I’m just glad I have you guys, and Mr.Smiley over there,” he said, nodding his head towards TJ.

TJ laughed. “Sorry. I’m imagining Dylan getting slapped across the face by Andi. Please continue.”

Cyrus couldn’t help but smile.

_He really was lucky._

 

~

 

“Cyrus Goodman, how _dare_ you not tell me about your romantic as hell kiss in the rain with TJ! Was I supposed to just find out through Buffy or what?! You and TJ have both let me down.”

Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh as he approached the booth Marty was sitting at, settling down in the seat opposite him.

It was Saturday now, and although the skies were dreary again after a week of sunshine, nothing could really dampen his mood. There was rain beginning to patter against the window next to them as varying people with large coats and umbrellas walked by. There was a yellow lamp above their table, bathing it in warm light.

“I’m sorry - I thought TJ would’ve told you!”

“Nope,” said Marty, shaking his head. “Not a word. How _dare_ he do this to me.”

Cyrus just laughed again. “Okay - well in compensation you can ask me whatever you want now.”

Marty grinned. “Okay. First of all - was it like pouring rain or light rain? And did he _really_ say ‘Hey - you like dramatic rain kisses, right?’ or was that a cheesy thing Buffy made up to make me freak out even more?”

Cyrus could feel a blush rising on his face now for some reason. “Light rain at first but it was definitely pouring at the end. Also yes - TJ _did_ say that,” he responded.

“He _did?_ Damn, sometimes I forget what a dork he is. Also - by the _end?_ How long were you two kissing?”

Cyrus bit his lip, smiling slightly as he leaned back in his chair. “Well uh...it definitely wasn’t a peck, that’s for sure.”

Marty practically gasped. “Seriously - how was TJ _not_ dying to tell me this? He literally freaked out the first time your _hands_ brushed while you were walking.”

Cyrus giggled slightly at that. “I don’t even remember when that was.”

“Ask him - if he says he doesn’t know then he’s a liar,” Marty smiled.

Their drinks were set down on the table then, and Cyrus gave the waiter a grateful smile.

He took a small sip before directing his gaze back to Marty. “So what’s been going on with you?”

Marty hesitated for a moment before responding. “Well...” he took a deep breath, “I told Buffy about Liam.”

Cyrus winced slightly at the mere mention of Liam. “How’d she take that?”

A small smile came to Marty’s lips. “How you’d expect Buffy to take it. She asked me if she could speak to my school principal and I agreed...now Liam’s been kicked off the dance team and suspended from all his other teams, too.”

“Seriously? Wow, I love her,” said Cyrus with a laugh.

Marty smiled fondly. “Me too. I have no idea what kind of power she has though, because the principal didn’t do shit when I talked to him.”

Cyrus nodded. “He should’ve. But I’m glad they did at least _something_ after some prodding.”

Silence fell for a moment. Marty began nervously fidgeting with his hands on the table.

“I really like her,” he blurted suddenly, which had Cyrus looking up again in alarm. Sure - he had sort of known, but he hadn’t been expecting an outright confession from the boy.

Cyrus smiled. He thought back to their day at TJ’s dance studio, about how Buffy seemed to light up completely around Marty and how much she seemed to play with her hair.

“She likes you too, trust me,” he said, “I’ve never seen her smile so much texting someone as she does with you.”

Marty still looked slightly hesitant. “You think so?”

Cyrus reached over and placed a hand on top of his. “I know so,” he confirmed, pausing for a moment before adding “she likes ice skating, by the way.”

Marty was blushing slightly now. “Are you suggesting that I should take her on an ice skating date?”

“Yup!”

The boy just groaned though, burying his face in his hands with a muffled “I don’t know how to ask that.”

Cyrus laughed. “It’s easy, trust me! I’ll even demonstrate,” he said, sitting upright in his seat and leaning forward.

“Hey, Buffy! Wanna go ice-skating sometime, just the two of us?”

Marty lifted his head from his hands, smiling slightly. “That sounds painful.”

“Well, if talking out loud isn’t your thing, then...” he paused for a moment and produced a pen from his coat pocket along with an old receipt.

 

_Dear Buffy,_

_Wanna go on an ice skating date with me sometime?_

  * _Yes_
  * _No_



_(Circle your answer)_

_Love,_

_Marty_

 

He slid the receipt over to Marty, who read over it with a laugh.

“I’ll think about it,” he settled on saying, smiling as he took another sip of his drink.

“Hey - if the confession thing doesn’t work out then you could always just kiss her in the rain!” Cyrus added, smiling when Marty laughed again.


	13. Roses are red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris has an emergency. TJ and Buffy's dance teams compete in a district competition. Cyrus has something to ask TJ.

No matter how hard he tried to fight it, Cyrus could feel a smile spreading across his face as TJ kissed him, which had the boy pulling away with an amused huff.

“What’s so funny?” 

“I’m taller than you on here.”

TJ laughed softly, placing his hands on either side of the boy on the counter and leaning in again, hands settling on his waist. Cyrus looped his arms around TJ and pulled him in, trying hard to keep himself from smiling. 

“Just this once,” TJ mumbled, pulling away for a brief second before leaning back in. His lips still tasted sweet from the pancakes they’d had that morning, and Cyrus honestly couldn’t get enough. It was only when he remembered exactly where they were that he finally pulled back, playfully pushing TJ away from him.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he said.

TJ smiled, glancing briefly around at their surroundings. “Yeah, probably not. How’d we even get here again?” 

Cyrus jumped down from the counter, now officially shorter than TJ again. 

“Well, you pulled me into a bathroom and kissed me. That’s how,” he teased, walking over to the door and pulling it open.

Warm light and sounds of chattering filled the bathroom for a moment as TJ stepped out, fighting back a grin. “That’s right.” 

Cyrus’ phone lit up with a message then, and he allowed himself to be guided through the crowds by TJ as he read over it. 

 

 **Iris:** CYRUS. EMERGENCY. CAN YOU COME OVER??? 

 

A frown formed on his face as he passed the varying shops that surrounded them, and TJ seemed to notice because he slowed down. He pointedly ignored the glares this earned him. 

“Babe?” 

Cyrus’ brain short-circuited momentarily at the nickname, and he forgot for a second why he was even worried. A slow smile came to his lips.

“Did you just call me babe?” 

TJ seemed shy all of a sudden, face reddening as he looked away in the opposite direction. Cyrus‘ heart melted.

“Sorry-“ he began, but Cyrus interrupted him before he could continue.

“It’s fine, I like it.” 

“You do?” 

When Cyrus nodded, TJ began to smile. “Okay, cool.”

There was a pause, then Cyrus was cursing himself under his breath and gently tugging TJ to the side, away from the stream of people walking past.

“I have to get to Iris’ place,” he said seriously.

TJ raised an eyebrow. “Why?” 

“I don’t know, but she said it was an emergency. Also - she hardly ever types in caps lock, so it must be big.” 

TJ smiled despite himself. “Nice sleuthing, babe.” 

Cyrus playfully smacked his arm. “Not the time for compliments!” 

“Okay, okay, we’ll drive to Iris’ place and see what's up then.”

“ _We?_ ” Cyrus questioned, folding his arms. “I don’t think so. You have dance practise for the competition tomorrow in like an hour.”

TJ sighed heavily, still smiling slightly. This was a fight he knew he couldn’t win. “Fine. At least let me drop you off, though.” 

The stern expression faded from Cyrus’ face. “...I can accept that,” he agreed, which had TJ laughing as he wrapped an arm around the boy and began leading them toward the exit.

The sun had lowered significantly in the sky by the time they stepped out, with golden light filling the parking lot. Cyrus almost wanted to pause for a selfie, but then he remembered there were probably more important things to worry about.

“Have any idea what this emergency is?” asked TJ as they crossed the lot.

Cyrus thought about it for a moment, before shaking his head. “None. But if it’s because Natalie posted a cute photo to her Instagram then  _so_  help me.” 

TJ laughed. “I mean, she  _is_  pretty.”

“So am I, but I don’t see  _you_  calling a national emergency every time I post.”

The boy smiled as he unlocked his dad’s car and opened the door for Cyrus. “I could do that if you wanted me to.”

“No, it’s fine. Comments are enough,” he responded, smiling cheekily as TJ closed the door with an amused huff. 

After a few seconds, TJ was climbing into the driver’s seat, handing his phone over to Cyrus. 

“Could you type her address into google maps?” 

The boy nodded, unlocking his phone and typing the details in as TJ reversed out of the parking space, glancing behind him as he went. 

“Don’t run over anyone else,” said Cyrus, not looking up from the phone.

He heard TJ scoff beside him. “I did  _not_  run over that guy. I just...almost did.” 

“Same thing,” he teased, glancing over at the boy, “maybe I should be driving.” 

“We probably would’ve crashed by now.” 

“Hey!” Cyrus laughed as he held up the phone for TJ to see. “It’s true, but you shouldn’t say it.” 

TJ just gave him a playful look, focusing his attention back on the road as he drove towards the exit. Cyrus turned up the radio when Ariana Grande began to play, expression fond as he watched an excited smile appear on TJ’s lips.

They drove down the main road from there, windows opened slightly as music blared through the speakers. The sun was setting rapidly in the sky, and Cyrus watched through the window as shades of pink and orange were replaced by darker reds and purples. 

“I think I know the way from here,” said TJ after about ten minutes, to which Cyrus nodded and closed google maps. 

“Can I play games then?” 

TJ smiled. “Yeah, sure.” 

When they arrived at Iris’ place, Cyrus leaned over to place a quick kiss on TJ’s cheek. 

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, right?” 

“Tomorrow morning,” TJ confirmed, smiling crookedly in a way that had Cyrus never wanting to leave. He bit his lip, before leaning over and briefly connecting their lips. 

“Good luck at practice,” he murmured.

“Thanks,” TJ smiled again, playfully bumping his forehead against Cyrus’. 

And  _god_  if that wasn’t the cutest fucking thing in the world.

Cyrus managed to shake himself out of it, blowing the boy one last kiss as he got out of the car and closed the door behind him, walking around to the pavement. He approached the front door and gave it a hesitant knock, slightly alarmed when it was immediately flung open. 

“Cyrus!” 

Iris pulled him inside immediately, closing the door behind her. The boy allowed himself to be dragged into the living room, a slightly bewildered smile on his face.

“What’s up?” he asked as Iris collapsed down onto the couch. 

“Okay. So. Basically. Natalie kissed me and I panicked and ran away and now she probably thinks I don’t like her now and I’ve ruined my chances with the most beautiful girl in existence and I’m too scared to text her and I have no idea what to do.” 

The words had come out so quickly that Cyrus was left standing there for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. When he had registered what Iris said fully, he let out a mortified groan and collapsed down next to her.

“Iris, you pulled a  _me!_ ”

“I know,” she nodded, burying her face in her hands. 

“It’s like the universal gay panic move - run away and spend hours agonising over it,” said Cyrus, shaking his head. “Luckily though, I have a solution. 

Iris looked up at that. “You do?” 

“Yeah,” Cyrus responded, pausing momentarily for dramatic effect. “ _Talk to her._ ” 

Iris sighed. “How on earth do I do that?” 

“Easy! I’ll demonstrate,” he said, straightening up and turning to face the girl. “Hi, Natalie... then pause to give her a super guilty ‘I’m sorry’ puppy dog look, I’m really sorry for running away earlier, I was surprised and I wasn't really thinking straight, but I really like you and if you’re down I was thinking maybe we could go on a date. Yes? Okay, great. Thanks.”

Iris raised her eyebrows at him as if to say  _‘seriously?’_  and Cyrus let out a sigh. 

“It’ll mean more in person, I promise you. A text will probably come across as insincere.”

“Yeah, I know,” Iris mumbled. She paused for a moment, before looking up again excitedly. “What about a call?” 

Cyrus considered this for a moment, weighing the pros and cons in his head, before shrugging and nodding. “A call could do the trick.” 

“Okay! I’ll call her. Yup. I’ll uh...I’ll do that.” 

Cyrus smiled slightly at the girl’s obvious panic, leaning over to give her a hug. “Breathe, okay? It’ll be fine. She really likes you.” 

He pulled back again when he felt Iris nod, giving her a supportive pat on the shoulder. She returned the smile, standing up from the couch and walking down the hallway towards her room. 

“No eavesdropping!” she called over her shoulder, which had Cyrus pouting slightly.

He decided on pulling out his phone and messing around, glancing up occasionally to watch through the window as the last remnants of light in the sky faded. A smile appeared on his face when he got a text from TJ.

 

 **TJ:** How’s it going? 

 **Cyrus:** Good! I can’t tell u what the emergency was unless I ask her, but I think it’ll be okay. 

 **Cyrus:** Are u at the dance studio?

 **TJ:** That’s good! 

 **TJ:** Yup just got here, now to practise the same routine we’ve been practising for months...yay

 **Cyrus:**  U poor thing :(

 **Cyrus:** Only one more practise tho! 

 **TJ:** Yeahh true  

 **Cyrus:** Are u finally gonna tell me what song u guys are dancing to??

 **TJ:** Nope! ;) 

 **Cyrus:**  Aw, can I guess?

 **TJ:** Nope again! I gtg now anyway

 **Cyrus:**  :((((( 

 **TJ:** Aww don’t be like that 

 **TJ:** I’ll message u afterwards! Hope Iris is okay xx 

 **Cyrus:** Fiine, bye xx 

 

It was a few minutes of aimless scrolling through twitter until Iris emerged from her room again, smiling so brightly that Cyrus had no doubt in his mind whatsoever that things had worked out. 

“Okay! I’m proud to announce that I somehow, through my gay panic, managed to ask Natalie out.  _And_  she said yes. Where’s my medal?”

Cyrus smiled and stood up from his spot, walking over to the girl. He placed an invisible medal around her neck.

“Lesbian queen,” he pronounced.

Iris’ smile widened somehow, and she took Cyrus’ hand. “Now that I have you over here, let’s watch Netflix!” 

“Who could possibly say no to that?” he smiled, allowing himself to be pulled into the girl’s room. 

 

~ 

 

“Okay - so who else am I picking up again?” asked TJ, eyes never leaving the road.  

Cyrus smiled apologetically. “Andi, if that’s okay?” 

TJ laughed a little at that, but nodded all the same. Amber and Buffy were currently sat together in the back (Amber had complained at first about being demoted from her ‘passenger seat’ position.) 

Buffy, who had realised she’d never gotten the chance to interrogate the girl dating her best friend, pounced on the opportunity to do so. Both Cyrus and TJ had zoned out after about 2 minutes, deciding instead to invest their energy into jamming out to Backstreet Boys songs.

It was another clear day, which was surprising given all of the recent rainfall. There were light winds and the sun was still shining brightly, beginning to lower now at this time in the afternoon. There were people out and about at parks, teenagers flocking to local shopping malls and Cyrus even saw an ice cream truck pass by them. Needless to say, it was a disappointment that he couldn’t get any. 

“Are you nervous at all?” he asked suddenly, turning down the music. 

TJ just shrugged. “A little bit. But...”

Cyrus gave him a confused look. “But what?” 

TJ glanced back at Buffy and Amber before directing his gaze briefly towards Cyrus again, smile shy now. “It helps a lot knowing you’ll be there.” 

Cyrus raised a hand to his chest, letting out a loud ‘aw!’ that had Buffy shooting them both a confused glance before returning to her conversation with Amber. 

“You’ll be great! Marty too.”

TJ gave him a bright smile as he pulled into Andi’s driveway, watching in amusement as Amber swiftly unbuckled her seatbelt and hopped out of the car. 

She was back minutes later, a glamorous-looking Andi in tow. She was wearing a short, sparkling black dress and dark red lipstick that had Cyrus practically gasping as she climbed into the car.

“Andi you look stunning!” he told her, smiling when Andi waved him off with a laugh and leaned into her girlfriend. 

“Why thank you, Cyrus.” 

They were off again soon enough, and Cyrus turned up the Backstreet Boys’ album again for him and TJ to jam to. Andi was talking animatedly with Amber now, but Buffy didn’t seem to mind too much - a glance over his shoulder confirmed that she was happily tapping away at her phone _._

 

 **Cyrus:** Definitely Marty, right? 

After about 30 seconds he heard a giggle from behind him.

 **Andi:** oh, definitely. that smile!!! 

 

A twenty-minute trip later found them at a large performance hall, with a parking lot that was filled to the brim with people and cars.

TJ sighed. “This is ridiculous.” 

Buffy nodded. “They really need a bigger parking lot.”

Cyrus looked out of his window and took a moment to observe the building. It was surrounded by others that were similar in appearance - large, black and imposing, with barely any windows and a grand looking sign that read ‘Saltlake Performance Hall.’ 

It took some time and a lot of exasperated sighing on TJ’s end, but eventually, they managed to find a spot relatively close to the venue. Cyrus stepped out into the cool afternoon air was a relieved sigh, running a hand through his hair as he walked over to TJ. 

“You can be our team’s plus one,” TJ told him.

Cyrus smiled and wrapped his arms around the boy’s torso. “Are you sure they’ll allow that?” 

“Yeah! Kind of...I mean, I can be persuasive when I want to be. I could make the argument that you’re small and you barely take up any space anyway.” 

“Mhm okay,” Cyrus hummed, not entirely convinced. This event was pretty big after all, featuring teams from a majority of the schools in the district. “Did you lock the car?” 

“Shit,” TJ mumbled, stopping in his tracks and pressing the lock button on his remote. They heard a sound behind them from the car signalling it had been locked, and Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Seriously?”

“Hey - it’s easy to forget!” TJ defended, placing his arm back around Cyrus’ shoulders. 

TJ obviously heard the sniggering that was coming from behind them too, because he shot Amber, Buffy and Andi a death glare. 

“I was just testing you guys! Looks like Cyrus is the only one who passed.” 

Cyrus smiled as they walked through the glass sliding doors and into the crowded main lobby. There was a relatively long front desk with various people behind it scanning admission tickets. The carpeting all seemed modern, and there was even a large chandelier hanging from the ceiling above them. Cyrus paused for a moment to take it all in, from the warm lighting to the people that were lining up to have their tickets processed. 

He pulled their tickets from his pocket, handing Amber and Andi one each. 

“I think Buffy and I have to go straight in to sign off with some people backstage, but I’ll meet you in there, okay?” TJ told him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

Cyrus nodded, smiling like an idiot as he joined Amber and Andi.

“Let's go join the cue!” said Andi, linking her arm with Cyrus’. 

It only took about ten minutes for them to reach the front of the line and hand over their tickets, before being ushered through a pair of black double doors and into the performance theatre. 

Cyrus had to pause for another moment because  _holy shit_ it was huge. He should’ve seen the need for tickets as an indicator that this would be a much larger event than any of the others, but it still somehow managed to throw him off guard slightly as he allowed himself to be guided through the crowds, his vision slightly hazy. His heart was racing as he sat down in his seat, glancing around frantically at the swarms of the people filing inside. He swallowed thickly.

“You okay, Cy?” Andi asked, eyes soft with concern.

He quickly nodded, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself slightly.

“There’s a lot of people,” he said, to which the girl smiled sympathetically and nodded. 

“It’ll be less overwhelming when they all sit down, I promise.”

He nodded, smiling weakly as she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. ”It’ll be fine, ” she said.

He barely had time to respond to that, because suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder and he was whirling around in his seat.

“TJ!” he breathed out, standing up to hug the boy. 

TJ laughed slightly, looking down at him in confusion. “You okay?” 

“Yeah! I’m good.” 

The boy nodded slowly, still looking slightly concerned as he pulled away. “Okay...well, I think I can sneak you in backstage if you want. Our team is performing towards the end so we can chill for a bit until then.” 

Cyrus usually would’ve been hesitant about any sort of rule breaking, but he was honestly pretty desperate at that moment to remain with TJ so he just nodded and turned around to tell Andi he’d be back. TJ took his hand, and somehow he felt more at ease as they began to make their way up the stairs along the rows of seats and towards the backstage area. He pushed past the polished wooden door, entering a large darkened area that seemed to break off into several rooms. They walked across the stage towards one room in particular labelled ‘7.’ TJ opened it and allowed Cyrus to step inside, before following suit and closing the door behind him. 

“Marty!” Cyrus exclaimed, a wide smile on his face as the boy got up from the chair he was sitting on and wrapped the boy in a hug. 

“Cyrus! How’s the past week been?” he asked as they pulled away. 

“Well, I hung out with TJ a lot, so - pretty boring,” he joked, smiling when the boy let out an offended gasp. 

“He  _is_  pretty boring,” Marty agreed, narrowly dodging the hair clip that TJ tossed in his direction with a laugh. 

Cyrus smiled as he headed over to where TJ was sat, sitting on his lap while Marty resumed his spot in the chair next to him. A few other teammates were talking quietly amongst themselves, generally not paying the trio much mind.

“So, are you guys ready?” 

“You’d hope so,” Marty responded, glancing over at TJ in amusement, “with the amount we’ve practised.” 

“Just remember - Buffy’s team will  _definitely_  be watching us, Marty,” TJ teased.

The boy let out an amused huff. “Very funny. Good thing I won’t be making any mistakes then! Unlike you.”

They continued bickering back and forth, with Cyrus leaning into TJ and looking on in amusement. As the trio began to fall into conversation he could hear the faint sounds of a team being introduced on stage, and TJ paused for a moment to listen in.

“Beverly High,” he said with a shrug. “I think they’re decent.” 

As time continued to pass, a short man came in to inform them that they’d be performing in about ten minutes. TJ nodded, sending a glance over to Marty. 

“I think we should probably get you back to your seat. Want me to walk you?” 

Cyrus shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll make my way down.” 

They both stood up from their chair, Cyrus engulfing the taller boy in a hug. “Good luck,” he whispered, glancing hesitantly over at the other teammates before placing a kiss on his cheek.

TJ smiled, waving as Cyrus left. He managed to sneak his way back to Andi, collapsing down in his chair with a contented sigh. 

“My boyfriend is  _so_  cute,” he informed her, smiling when the girl snorted. 

“We know, Cyrus. You’ve told us like 5 times every day for the past week.” 

Cyrus just sighed again, resting his head on her shoulder as another team he didn’t recognise was announced.

Amber scoffed from beside them. “He’s also a devil, by the way.” 

“A  _cute_  devil,” Cyrus nodded, earning him another laugh from Andi. 

Andi nudged him when the announcer came out on stage again, microphone in hand. Cyrus quickly straightened in his seat. 

“And now, it is my pleasure to announce the Jefferson High dance team!” 

Cyrus clapped alongside everyone else, as the announcer relocated to the side of the stage, allowing the large red curtains to slowly draw open again. TJ and Marty were stood on either side of a boy he didn’t recognise, both somehow wearing light makeup now. The clapping died down after a few seconds, and the song began to ring out in the darkened hall. 

 

_I can't write one song that's not about you_

_Can't drink without thinkin' about you_

_Is it too late to tell you that_

_Everything means nothing if I can't have you?_

 

Cyrus gasped, a wide smile appearing on his lips as he lightly grabbed onto Andi’s arm. 

“I’ve been listening to this like non-stop,” he whispered, to which Andi gave him a teasing smile.

“Shawn Mendes, huh?” 

“Hey - he makes good music! And, you know, he’s pretty easy on the eyes, too.” 

Andi smiled and wrapped an arm around the boy, pulling him in. There were various coloured lights flashing onstage, illuminating the group in short bursts, and their movements were quick to match the tempo of the song.

 

_I'm so sorry that my timing's off_

_But I can't move on if we're still gonna talk_

_Is it wrong for me to not want half?_

_I want all of you, all the strings attached_

 

Cyrus’ eyes were largely shifting between TJ and Marty, flickering occasionally towards the other teammates. Their practice was evident - Cyrus wasn’t an expert by any means, but their movements were mostly in sync the whole way through. 

When they came to a finish, holding their final positions for a moment, chests rising and falling, Cyrus cheered along with everyone else.

“They were so good!” he exclaimed, and Andi nodded in agreement. 

“They were definitely up there!” 

Cyrus and Andi were just as enthusiastic about Buffy’s team, who were performing ‘bury a friend’, even standing up at the end of their routine to clap, giggling at the obvious exasperated look Buffy gave them.

After a few more performances the announcer came back on stage, waiting for the applause in the room to die down before speaking.

“In a few moments, we’ll have the final scores out of 50, judges based on categories including synchronisation, choreography...” 

Cyrus turned to Andi, resting his head on her shoulder. “I feel tired all of a sudden.”

The girl nodded, glancing down at her phone. “Well - it  _is_  almost 9:30. Your usual bedtime,” she teased.

“ _Hey_  - it’s 10:00sometimes.”

Andi just laughed at that, bringing a hand up to run through Cyrus’ hair. His eyes were on the verge of fluttering shut when the announcer’s voice rang out again, announcing that the results had been tallied. Cyrus jolted at that, straightening in his seat as murmurs and whispers began to pick up around him in anticipation.

“We’ll now be announcing the first, second and third for tonight’s competition. Coming in at third we had the Salt Lake dance team-“

Andi immediately grabbed Cyrus’ hand, her expression stunned. He looked back at her with wide eyes, smiling like an idiot. 

“In second we had the Beverly dance team-“

Cyrus’ smile smoothed out slightly into confusion. “Do you think TJ’s team placed?” he asked in a whisper.

Before Andi could respond, the announcer continued, voice loud and purposely dramatic now.

“And...coming in at first place...we have Jefferson High dance team!” 

Cyrus blinked for a few moments, almost not believing it, but when the news had fully registered he practically squealed. Amber and Andi were both laughing as the three teams walked out onto the main stage, so that the team captains could speak a few words. When they were done, Cyrus took the opportunity to jump up from his seat and swiftly make his way towards the backstage area, weaving his way through crowds in order to do.

TJ, who had casually been talking to Marty, immediately looked up when Cyrus walked in. He grinned, standing from his chair as Cyrus ran to him and jumped up, allowing TJ to catch him and spin him around.

“You did it!” 

“We did!” 

He leaned down without a care in the world, capturing TJ’s lips with his own and ignoring Marty’s amused huff. TJ put the boy down after a few moments, still smiling wide. Cyrus wrapped his arms around TJ’s waist and rested his head on the boy’s chest. The warm lighting within the small room really wasn’t helping his levels of tiredness, and TJ seemed to sense this because he laughed softly and pressed a kiss to his head.

“Tired?” 

Cyrus nodded.

“Let’s get you home then,” he murmured, letting go of the boy and grabbing some of his things from around the room. Marty followed suit, and soon enough they were headed towards the exit.

Cyrus noticed Buffy and Natalie lingering by the entrance to the theatre, and he couldn’t help but give Marty a playful nudge.

“Talk to her,” he whispered.

Marty’s eyes widened slightly. “About what?” 

Cyrus gave him an incredulous look. Marty sighed.

“She’s talking to someone already.”

Buffy and Natalie conveniently chose that moment to say their goodbyes, exchanging a hug, before separating. Buffy was left standing alone, and Cyrus couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s the universe! You  _have_  to talk to her now.”

Marty hesitated for a few more moments, before shrugging and making his way over to the girl. TJ grinned over at his boyfriend.

“Think he’ll confess?” 

“I hope so.“

TJ’s phone lit up with a notification as they began to head out, and he could barely keep the smile off his face as he read it. 

“Marty’s giving her a ride home.” 

“Really?” Cyrus asked, grinning.

“Really,” he confirmed. “And speaking of home - let's go.”

Cyrus nodded, letting out a small yawn as they made their way over to TJ’s car and waited for Andi and Amber.

 

~

 

A lot of things happened over the next week.  

Cyrus came out to his step-mom first of all, after a lot of encouragement from TJ and his friends beforehand. When he’d sent a text to the group chat on Monday night, TJ, of course, was over in an instant, following by both Andi and Buffy. It had gone just as well as if had with his dad, and Cyrus felt another small pressure lift off of his chest. 

He knew he was some time away from telling his mom and his step-dad, but he felt content nonetheless. He’d be ready to tell them one day after all and face their possible reaction - that day just hadn’t been it. 

Cyrus, after having been offered, decided to join the LGBT club they had at his school, which he’d somehow only found about that week. A nervous girl had approached him, asking if he wanted to join, and he’d instantly answered yes. 

As it turns out, Marty  _had_  managed to ask Buffy out that night after a lot of ‘awkwardness and stalling’ as he put it, and Buffy had agreed almost right away. Cyrus had been told the full story over iced coffee by Marty, and it was about as cute and ridiculous as he’d expected it to be. 

Prom was also coming up, and Cyrus had spent the past few days planning with Marty, Andi and Buffy how exactly he should go about asking TJ. It wasn’t an overly complex task, although it did require talking to TJ’s parents so they could help coordinate. 

“Okay,” said Marty, taking a sip of his milkshake. “So let’s go over this again.” 

There was sunlight streaming in through the windows of The Spoon, which was somewhat of a relief following the overcast days they’d been hit with that week. It was Saturday, and Cyrus was sat at a booth with Andi, Buffy and Marty.

“Okay,” Cyrus agreed. “So you’ve arranged to take TJ out for a few hours, starting at 3. While you guys are out us the three will head over to his place and finalise the sign, place the rose petals and make the blueberry macadamia muffins with help from TJ’s dad. Then, when I message you saying we’re done, you can drive TJ back here and boom! I ask him out to prom and hope to god he says yes.” 

“He’ll say yes,” Andi assured him, smiling, “I mean - how could he not?” 

Marty nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he’s been head over heels since day one, dude.” 

Cyrus waved them off, feeling his face redden slightly at the words. “Let’s hope so.” 

Marty ended up leaving the diner before them to go pick TJ up, and when they’d been given the all-clear the trio headed back to Andi’s place to pick up the sign they’d been working on. Bex and Bowie gave them a lift to TJ’s place, and they’d ended up hanging around to talk to TJ’s mom.

Cyrus, Andi and Buffy managed to transport the sign, the craft supplies and the baking supplies into the house with help from TJ’s dad.

“We just have a few letters to colour in,” said Andi, and Cyrus nodded, sitting down beside the girl and picking up a blue sharpie. Buffy busied herself with preparing some of the ingredients, chatting animatedly with TJ’s dad about basketball. Cyrus and Andi exchanged an amused glance at this.

With help from TJ’s dad, everything seemed to come together after about two hours. The muffins were standing out to cool and the sign was finished. They brought it outside in preparation, along with a basket of rose petals for decoration. 

“I’m starting to think this might be too over-the-top,” Cyrus fretted about an hour later, looking over the display they’d created.

TJ’s dad laughed. “Too over-the-top for TJ? The most dramatic boy I know? I don’t think so. Trust me, Cyrus, he’ll love it.” 

Cyrus couldn’t help but smile at that. Andi and Buffy were by his side, both nodding in agreement. Marty was due to come back with TJ at any moment now, and Cyrus could feel a whole swarm of nervous butterflies filling his stomach. He breathed in deeply a few times to try and calm his nerves.

It was late afternoon now, and the sun was lowering in the sky. A cool breeze was setting in too, and he found himself shivering slightly as a result.

TJ’s mom walked out of the house, holding a camera, with Bex and Bowie in tow. Cyrus gave them all a weak smile. 

It was a few more minutes before Marty’s car was pulling into the driveway, with TJ tapping away at his phone in the passenger seat. He casually glanced for a moment, double-taking immediately and looking back up again. An amazed smile came to his lips, and he gave Marty, who was laughing now, a playful shove before opening the car door and stepping out, pocketing his phone in the process. 

He approached hesitantly, stopping a few feet away from Cyrus, the same wide smile still on his face. 

“Okay,” Cyrus began, returning the smile. “Basically, I had a whole cheesy speech ready for this but I decided last minute that I wasn’t gonna use it,” TJ laughed at that, and Cyrus winked before adding “you can read it later if you want.” 

He could feel the eyes of his friends on him, as well as the eyes of Bex, Bowie and TJ’s parents, but somehow he didn’t feel nervous now with TJ in front of him. 

“The bottom line is that I really,  _really_  like you, and you’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, so I was wondering - will you go to Prom with me?” 

TJ nodded his head. “Of course I will!” 

Cyrus smiled at that, placing the sign down so he could walk up to TJ and wrap his arms around the boy, who pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. He heard cheering behind them from Andi, Buffy and even Marty, who had somehow managed to sneak around to join them. He could practically  _feel_  the amount of photos that were being taken at that moment, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care. 

He looked up at TJ, smiling wide, and the boy playfully tilted his head down to bump his forehead against Cyrus’. 

“Okay - we need a photo with that sign now!” TJ’s mom called, and the boys laughed before separating and picking up the sign.

 

~ 

 

“Roses are red, violets are blue, iced coffee is sweet and so are you,” TJ read out quietly as they stood out on the driveway later that night, smiling softly. “Now  _that’s_  a nice sign.” 

Cyrus laughed. “Andi helped me with that one - I don’t know anything about poetry.” 

“Really?” asked TJ, eyebrows furrowed. “I thought you would, seeing as you  _are_  poetry.”

Cyrus could feel himself blushing slightly at that. “Very smooth,” he smiled, leaning up on his tip-toes to connect their lips. 

TJ’s hands found his waist almost automatically, and as always, they managed to fit together like two puzzle pieces. Cyrus couldn’t help but think his puzzle piece was somewhat broken, rough around the edges from Dylan in a way he thought he’d never get back again, but there TJ was now - holding onto him as if he was the most important thing in the world, kissing him. Somehow, they still managed to fit together, and Cyrus couldn’t be more grateful. 

He hadn’t expected a flirty boy from a café to become so important to him, but right now he felt light and carefree in a way he hadn’t for a long time, his arms looped around TJ’s neck, TJ’s hands gently pulling him in. 

Thank god he’d been late to his book club meeting that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...that's a wrap!! I'll most likely be posting a short epilogue when I get around to it, but that was the official last chapter of 'Swingsets and Dance Routines.' 
> 
> Thank you so so much to anyone who had read and interacted with this story - I read all the comments and they're all super heart-warming. Special thanks to Micah for editing a lot of these chapters and Smriti for being so supportive throughout! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @heart-eyes-kippen
> 
> If you liked this chapter or this fic as a whole, kudos/comments are appreciated!!
> 
> Thanks again,
> 
> Sarah <3


End file.
